-If Only- Jaeyong

Chapter 27: Hate me

A rhythm of warm breath washed over Taeyong's nape as he laid on the soft pillow. He could feel a pair of arms wrapped gently around his waist while the night light glowed dimly as it casted soft shadows on his face.

Contrary to the tranquil ambience in the room, Taeyong felt like he was drowning as he laid there sinking in his own feelings. Frustration, regret and  disappointment all mixed together like a bitter pill forced its way down his throat. Taeyong knew he made these choices. The choice that lead to this situation. 

Did he regret?

He couldn't tell. 

Because if he did regret it, he would have hated Jaehyun but he didn't.

He still loved him.

From all the regrets came through frustration.

He couldn't understand his feelings.

Why his heart beat the same way for Jaehyun like it did for Yuta.

Why his conscience was telling him that it was so wrong when his heart made it feel so right. 

Disappointment slowly started to seep in as he frowned at the flashback from last night.

How could Jaehyun let him go that easily?

How did Jaehyun expect him to cut of all the feeling he developed for him?

How could Jaehyun do it?

Taeyong bit his bottom lip in anger as he closed his eyes and tried to make all his thoughts vanish. Eventually they all slowly dissipated away as he drifted off to sleep.

 It was around 3 in the morning when Taeyong heard crashing of a glass downstairs. His eyes shot open as his breath paced up, thoughts waking up and running wild again. He quietly untangled himself from Yuta's embrace and edged towards the door to open it. 

After a few second of silence, Taeyong tiptoed his way downstairs and saw the kitchen and living room light still on. He quickly hid behind a wall when he saw the light and peeked from the corner to see if anyone was there. 

A sigh of relief escaped his mouth when he saw no on in the kitchen and walked in to close the light. Just as he was about to do it, he noticed a bottle of alcohol sitting on the counter. He grabbed it to examine it and notice the top part of the content gone. He put it in the cabinet with all the other alcohol and headed to the living room where he assumed the crashing of a glass was heard.