A Flame From The Past

48: Friends Pt.1

"It's been ages, absolutely ages". I just wanted a drink, just a simple drink after the week I had had. It started with Luca and I breaking up then seeing him, not so later on.

It was wrong of me to hangout with his sister just days later but I couldn't help myself, she had the goods, the strong alcohol the stuff that made you feel alive. It was wrong of me to be anywhere near his family, but Layla had insisted. She had had a rough day, and I was just having a shitty week. Nothing could fix this week, not even a good batch of strong liquor.

But I didn't realize Mariam was there, his sweet grandmother I couldn't refuse. His sweet grandmother reminded me so much of him. His sweet grandmother brought me to tears, remembering everything we had done in her home, her dinner. His sweet grandmother would be the death of me. What would I even tell her? How would we talk?

"It has... I've just been so busy". I said, swirling my glass in circles as Layla looked over at me, a smile pulled to its edges. She was enjoying this too much. I wished Layla would perk up, rise from the couch and take action from her presided seat on the couch. I needed help or the tears would fall and I wouldn't hold them back, I couldn't keep them in. At this point the whole world had seen me cry.

She looked at me pitying, her eyes wandering over my collarbone bruised and reddened, my cheek slashed with a scar.

"I heard about the breakup. I'm so sorry dear". Mariam hugged me, and this was the most positive experience I could think of as she hugged me and I hoped no questions would arise. It was a Mariam thing to do, she wasn't upset, weary, she was simply worried about me. I didn't need anything extra, because the last thing I needed was to think about Luca, when all I really wanted to do was get drunk.

The words had never left my mouth before getting drunk, but tonight I just needed to be free and Ally was with Ray, at home finishing up some work and I wanted, actually needed to get drunk.

"It had to have happened". I said, nodding along as she glared and she looked sad for a moment, her eyes coming to a tear as she quickly wiped it away. Looking around the room before she could return back to our conversation.

"I miss Ray and you..." She said, shyly, her voice praising itself for the level in her tone. Her words were sincere, I knew she believed we were good for her beloved grandchild, that we had saved him from some unloving windy road, but we hadn't, we never had. But she believed it, and she pushed, persistence was key with her.

"You must still come for Christmas... you must." She demanded and Layla chuckled as she stared at the demanding women in front of me. I mumbled words out, shaking my head rapidly. I couldn't intrude, I couldn't be around his family when he and I were done.

She was likely doing it because I had no family, and she knew the truth very well, very real as she tried reassuring me.

"He never comes for Christmas anyways. It'll be just you, me, Ray, Lenny and Layla, unless you're bringing someone dear?" She looked at Layla wanting for her to answer the question as she shrugged. I didn't know what to say, who gets invited to their exes' Christmas dinner. Awkward didn't cut it, awkward would never make it unstandable.

"I don't know... " I said, taken back with her words as she slightly adjusted her body.

"Beautiful pies, a big feast. Please join us, we already started making it". She said, guilting me into coming, I knew she wanted to see Ray. She didn't want to lose him, her only little "great-grandchild" in a way. I wouldn't let her lose him, like I vowed to Luca. I couldn't take it from him, I couldn't and I wouldn't.

"I'll think about it". I said, announcing I had to leave quickly. Very quickly as I looked at the time. I had nothing stopping me from staying. Except for the pressure and what this conversation would consist of, the man we all loved. We all wanted to see him happy, but with who was different for us all.