What Love Is Supposed To Be/ Bangchan x reader

Chapter 9 | Crush

(y/n) pov:

Fascinated I looked at the boy. He is so pretty. His kind eyes, cute smile... Just everything. I can't help but stare at him. But the more I do, the more I'm falling for him. I can't believe I've only known him for a week, when it feels like years.

"So pretty", I said in awe, to Rosa's annoyence.
"You are still stalking him?", She asked to which I can only whine.
"I am not stalking him! We are made for each other, he just doesn't know it yet!"
Sure about my words, I nod. Rosa does the same while rolling her eyes.
"Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me!"
"(Y/n) we are only 13.. we are to young for that.."
We both look at each other annoyed.
"Fine! If you want, I can ask him out right now!"
"Do it", again we stare at each other serious.
"Fine."
"Fine.
"Fine!"
Motivated I walk over to Chan, who was talking to a friend of his, who happens to be some boy I haven't really seen a lot. Both look at me confused. We have never talked, at least not until now.
"Chan", I said, starting to feel nervous.
"Ehm, yeah?"
Bring the blant person I am, I just straight up said it: "I like you. Do you wanna go out?"
The boys both look at each other, before starting to laugh loudly.
"You want to go out with me?", He mocked, unable to control his laughter. To which the friend joined in: "How about you get prettier and then ask again? I mean, no one would want to date someone so fat like you!"
Both were still laughing, but I? I could not control myself and started to cry. Tears were just streaming down my face, as Rosa walked over to us, to drag me out of that awkward and humiliating situation.

After that I changed. Obsessing over food, calories, excessively exercising everyday until I would collabs. It took me over two years to be able to look into a mirror with starting to cry. I hated myself, the people around me telling me, 'that I looked fine' or 'that I was never fat'. I thought they were lying to me, to spare my feelings. Everything got to much. I got depressed, too focused on my appearance, until that confession.
Seeing him in front of me. Shy, with flowers in his hands, begging for my love.. i couldn't help but hate him. No matter what he said, I could only think about his laughter, when I was being bodyshamed. Heartless.. cruel.. I hated him until... Until he was so sweet to me.. but in the end, he hurt me again.

After he ripped my heart out, I lost weight, got depressed, almost got a eating disorder, if it wasn't for my parents who got me help before it was too late. And when I was thin enough, he confesses..

I was right..

Love really is a waste of time..