Brelione//DruigxOC

perceptions

an x marks the spot, marks the spot that i had tried to tear myself apart by. with promises of letters and thoughts, they force themselves to leave, descending down steps. it's just like losing them, like they're dying as they walk into the darkness that takes them so well, swallowing their sillouhettes. anger still rests upon us, overpowered by emotions so layered that we are all disoriented. loss, betrayal, sorrow, fear, disappointment, relief, excitement. how do we live as humans when we've always been taught to be anything but? phastos' eyes colored with guilt as he comes towards me, apology spilling from him before anything else.

sorry for the chain, sorry for the fear. a hug so tight that i think i might suffocate, not even air could slip through us, his hand on my head. "you'll take care of yourself, right?"he asks. i laugh, wiping my puffy eyes as i try not to break into tears again. it all hurts, my body still shakes. i nod, knowing it could not be a worse lie. makkari and sersi, one last nod to ajak, small smiles to me. i watch how they look so full of excitement, so eager to leave, eyes big with thoughts of the near future. i wish i could be them, to go with them.

but how can i know that i will not hurt them too? as i did druig? that ice will not crystallize their bodies, turning their skin blue and their breath white? how do i know that fire won't consume them so mercilessly, that water won't entangle their limbs and drag them away? i cannot promise them lives of safety with me in their presence, nodding back to them as a trail of gold follows them across the night, far past where the eye can see. in just seconds they must be miles away.

six of us remain, two missing, ikaris and ajak hidden somewhere in the stone, in a place that my eyes cannot see, below this level. sprite and kingo, the charm and the storyteller, they're going to take the world by storm. he's the last to request i hug, afraid but not of me. his touch is awkward in a way, careful as he lets his head rest gently on mine, hand on my shoulders. "druig sucks,"he whispers to me, making me squeeze him harder as i have no tears left to cry. if my tears could go on forever i could fill a new ocean.

if it weren't for his arms, i think i may fall to the ground. upon realising, he holds me tighter, "we'll all be here for you, okay?"he asks. druig said that once, said that he'd always love me no matter how mad i became. what a lie, what a lie, what a lie. a lie spoken so beautifully, with such promise in his eyes that i've always believed it. how i wish i could go back to the day we met, to when i watched the shoreline. if i had just ignored him, if only i had just ignored the feeling i felt when my eyes met his, if no one had encouraged me to let our love collide.

maybe i wouldn't hurt so bad now. from beyond the stone, muffled shouting makes the air heavy, fear rising in all of us as we wonder what could be wrong. what could cause an argument to break out between our leader and the second command, how upset the voice sounds. when kingos hands draw to my ears, palms against them as he tells me not to listen, i know it's bad.

"you lied to us, you lied to all of us. 7000 years, and you did this to her? you let us live this lie?"he asks, voice growing louder with every word he speaks. her hands in front of her, motioning for him to lower his voice, to calm the anger that rises in his body. "i cannot change my mistakes, ikaris. i believe we would all be in worse places had i not made my decision, with breliones absence on other planets, we all fell at just 2000 years. she has held us together better than you know, she has held herself together as long as she has been able to. whether it be the fault of me or druig or arishem, i cannot fix that. i can only hope that she can live, that she can be alright."she speaks.

more pain would be brought without the existence of the eternal, that she was sure of. druig would be dead or thena would, that's how things always seemed to go. and makkari, she was brighter on earth than on any other planet, glowing with a permanent smile that ajak had never seen. and ikaris, ikaris was beyond passionate, simply a walking shadow on other missions. but now, now he was alert, excited, had his own purpose outside of arishem. but something so joyous could never last.