Brelione//DruigxOC

perceptions

warnings:mentions of death, suicide (like one line, nothing in detail), mentions of injury.

glued in place, watching the dark consume the land, now humans to be illuminated by the shy light of the moon. the only light comes from behind me, the small fires that still stand. defeated, we all stand. "you may all go,"ajak says. i want so desperately for the power to take me away again, take me to where i can feel nothing. only so that i do not have to see the rest of the world without him, returning my soul when we unite. hands come to my shoulder, this time i can find comfort in it, knowing that it belongs to makkari. leaning against her, i finally turn to watch as this all unfolds, eyes averted, glancing to eachother, stiff bodies that don't know what to do with ourselves.

"the deviants are gone, we have no reason we must remain together."she continues. and as suspected, eyes fall to me. sprites shining and distorted with tears and disappointment, disappointed that his plan did not work. "we are a team, we have to stick together."ikaris speaks up, ajaks eyes falling harsh as she looks to him. "our mission is completed, we don't need to be a team anymore."she says, he pushes further. "but we must ask arishem-"he insists, eyes burn into him, all of us desperate to get away from this place that feels like a murder site.

i suppose i did die here, at least, that's how it feels. circles still show around my wrists from where metal binded them, betrayal marked into my skin. ajak cannot heal that. "arishem chose me to lead us, do not forget your place, ikaris."she says to him, watching how he falls silent. her words hit him just as hard as a blade, he moves back, silencing himself as he waits. she turns, her eyes locking on mine, warm and brown, big and hard not to forgive for all the trouble they've caused. "brelione, this world loves you. we love you, and i want you to find somewhere you love. i want you to make your farm, to have your raccoons and your goats. all of you, please, i want to see who you become. go out into this world, find your places, your love, your passions. and one day, when we all come back together, i want you to tell me what you've found."my tears run so cold i can hardly tell that i am crying, that the sting is not that of rain that still sticks to my skin.

ikaris looks to me, to ajak. he's asking her something, something in a code that i cannot understand. makkaris hand tugs me into a hug, knowing that it may be some time before we find the pleasure of falling into eachothers paths again. because as badly as we care for eachother, the world pulls us out where. she has her own dreams of living as a travelling bandit, making legends and stealing a few on the way. she wants to go to places that rules cannot touch, across the oceans and to the peaks of the highest mountains the world has to offer and higher.

but i want nothing more than to have peace, to have everyday become so fun and full of life that it becomes boring. how can a day be fun without him? how will i know joy again, where to find love when he is not here? pathetic, maybe i am. or maybe i'm just a fool who fell too hard for someone that needed more than i could offer. for someone who needed peace that i could not have because i was made for doom, for pain. maybe there's a way, to put myself into something of a permanent sleep until it is time to come awake again. to learn the magic of the force that kills me, to befriend it, to be dragged and locked in the in between.

because maybe then i can learn joy again. bodies pressed against eachother, hugs passed like secrets as sprites body collides with mine, burning with regret. she apologizes over and over, for coming through too late. "i tried to stop them- i tried to stop them from chaining you- i'm sorry."sobs so loud they break the sound barrier, vibrating my body as we can do nothing but hold eachother. warm, consoling hand of sersi coming to my back as she tells me how she still trusts me. "i am so sorry for what has happened,"she says calmly as if

it were her own fault. someone's at fault, someone. there has to be someone to blame, druig, ajak, the relentless force. but at the end of the day it's going to be me. i have to blame myself for this, whether it was my mind or not. thena and gilgamesh come to me, saying their goodbyes soft and sorrow, he apologizes for a punch i cannot remember, off to lead their own lives. thena, afraid of touching me as she is so afraid that mahd wryry will wash over her once more. face stained with tears and flushed with blood as she looks to my suit, still slightly wounded, unable to heal like my skin.