𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓

XXXIV. Back To The Past

      Chapter  34, Back To The Past
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   Trigger Warnings: Body Image Problems, Body-Shaming

    Do not read if you are triggered towards this, I don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable or harmed in any way.
   Remember you are beautiful the way you are.

   Enjoy!

     " I just wanted to look pretty for once. "

  ~ Scarlett's POV ~

      I was having a good nap, dreaming about food and whatnot but was rudely awoken by the screaming of Jaden.
   That kid takes his game so serious that it's hilarious to me, I smiled at him as he continued to play his game.

      After a moment of laying in bed and watching Netflix, I told him I would call him later.
   I hung up with a smile and walked to my closet, I looked through my outfits and groaned as I had trouble looking for something comfortable and cute.

  
   Scarlett's Outfit

  As I walked downstairs, I was greeted with silence.
   My dad left a note talking about going on a date with Alana, I was bored out of my mind but I didn't want to talk to anyone either.
  
   I decided that it would be good to go on a walk, I grabbed my phone and left the house.
   There was a slight breeze that touched my bare skin, cooling my warm body down.

  I didn't have a specific place to go to, I just allowed my feet to guide me to wherever it wanted to take me.
   I found myself walking through a park, it was empty which freaked me out so I sped walked out of there.

    Soon I saw teens approaching, I didn't want to see awkward or friendless so I took my phone out and just went on different apps.
   As I walked past them, I overheard their conversation unintentionally so it shouldn't count as eavesdropping.
  
 

    "Just saying Marlene, you can't have a hot girl summer with a hot girl bummer body."

    The blonde one said as they walked past me, I slowed down and looked back at them.
   I remember back in middle school being bullied and pressured into looking "perfect".

    It took me back to a dark place.

  

       It was December 15th, 2020.

   ~ Eighth Grade Scarlett's POV ~

      My alarm for school awoke me, I groaned as I sat up and looked at the clock not really wanting to get up.
  I rubbed my eyes and got up from bed, walking over to my door and turning on the lights.

    I walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, I did my skincare and walked out of my bathroom.
   I knew I had to put on something to keep me warm because New Jersey weather is no joke.

      I put on my uniform and did my hair, I walked downstairs and packed my lunch.
   I grabbed an apple, it was almost time for me to leave for school so I slid my phone into my pocket and grabbed my bookbag.

    I grabbed my lunch and left my house, mom was still asleep while my dad was out at work.
   I left the house and began to walk to school, I head my headphone on and my Spotify playlist was playing.

       As I got to school, I sat beside Layla.
   She hugged me and we began to discuss about today's science class because we were going to be dissecting a squid.
    I was actually quite excited.

   Once the bell rung to tell us to get to homeroom, I got up and grabbed my bookbag.
   I waited for Layla, we left the cafeteria and walked to the class when I accidentally bumped into Alessia.

  
    "Watch it hippo."

  Alessia said without looking at me, my smile faded a little bit.

   "Oh sorry Alessia, didn't see you there."

  I apologized which caught her attention, she looked at me with a smirk and just giggled.
   I was confused but didn't press on it, instead I walked to my homeroom and sat down.

   
    The day drags on, leaving me exhausted and wanting to go home already.
   But thank the Lord that it's now lunch time, I left Spanish when the bell rang and walked down to the cafeteria.

    I sat down at the usual table and waited for Layla to come with me, I watched Alessia walked into the cafeteria and walked over to me.

   "You do know if you want to look attractive, you can't eat that much. Right?"

     Alessia said, I looked down at my lunch and looked back at her.
  I never really thought of that if I was honest but does this mean that other people thought about it?

   I gulped and slowly pushed my lunch away, I didn't want her to insult me again so I just tried to agree with her.
  My stomach growled but I had to ignore it, Layla finally came and we began to speak.

  

     It was science class now and I was hungry but didn't want to show it.
  I took a deep breath and began to dissect the squid, I wanted the day to be over already.

     Once the day was over, I was packing my things up and watched Alessia walk over to me once again.
  I sighed and put my scalpel down, I looked at her and watched as she sat down beside me.

   "What is it now?"

  I asked with annoyance seizing my throat, I didn't want to get insulted again.

   "It's just, I'm looking out for you and I think you should cut down on your junk food."

    Alessia said, I didn't know what to say.
  All I wanted to know is if people really noticed my overweight but nobody said anything.

    "I don't see anything wrong with my body though."

    I retorted, I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted to change what I ate or what I do.

   "Well I do, so listen to me alright?"

  I nodded my head and left the class since the bell rang.
   I didn't feel like going to homeroom, I walked into my house and greeted both my parents.

    I changed into some sweatpants and tank top, I stood in my room and did my homework.
   I couldn't even focus on my homework, my mind was filled with the fact that my body didn't look good.

     I was called downstairs for dinner, we were having pasta and garlic bread.
  As we sat down, we spoke about our day.

    I left out some parts of my day and ate my dinner, I walked upstairs but decided to go to the bathroom.
    I decided to stay in there, I felt disgusted with my body.

 

    Weeks had gone by and I had been starving and carving myself to look prettier, I couldn't tell anyone what was happening.
 
   It was night and I was staring about myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes, I allowed them to fall as I looked at my body.
   As I was whispering insults about myself, Layla knocked on the door.

   I opened the door and she pulled me into a hug, I hugged her back tightly and crumbled.
   Today was the day I told Layla what I have been doing to myself.

    " I just wanted to look pretty for once. "

I whispered as she rubbed my back, she held onto me.

 

   I had never felt more vulnerable.