My Protector | His Angel

Chapter 16: The Three Loves

Loren's POV

As soon as we shut the doors to the car, I swung my head back and howled in laughter and soon enough Killian had joined me. My gut instantly ached as my body jolted out of its seat, unable to retract the urge to laugh. I don't even know what was so funny and I don't think Killian knew either. This situation was not even in the slightest bit funny, but I guess it was at the same time?

"Oh my God" I managed to wheeze out, "What are we doing" My laughter finally faded as I realized how messed up this was.

"Something I should have done a long time ago" Killian's deep voice flowed like a rich caramel and my stomach no longer ached but rather grew a million butterflies who were eager to escape. I looked into his dark eyes searching for a meaning behind his words when his rough palms ever so gently cupped themselves against my cheeks.

Before I could even think, my face was pulled towards his and our lips met, welcoming each other into a long overdue reunion. Almost simultaneously, fireworks were set off throughout my mind in celebration of the kiss that it had waited 10 years for.

"I've missed you" Killian whispered into my lips when they finally parted. "I can't tell you Loren, I haven't been able to keep you off of my mind since the morning you left. How many times I have fallen asleep fantasizing about this moment and how perfect it would be. Yet here we are, soaking wet in a million dollar car in the middle of a storm and this couldn't be more perfect." He paused and looked down at my lips. "Come back to my house, you can clean up there."

I shut my eyes and rested my head on the head rest again. I couldn't. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't.

"Killian," I started and sighed "You know I can't." I sat back in my seat and offered an apologetic look. "I'm still in a relationship.."

It was hard to say no to him, as much as my drunken soul craved him. I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up to his warm body as the rain beat on the windows of the cottage I was renting. But my heart knew that I wouldn't be able to do this in good conscience knowing that I was in a relationship with Ethan. I couldn't do that to Ethan or even anybody else. I owed him that much at least and I hoped that Killian would understand.

A gentle sigh escaped Killian's lungs as he accepted it. "I understand" he spoke in defeat as he brushed a piece of damp hair from my face. "I hate that you are, Doll. But I can't be more impressed. I really respect you for that."

"He's been good to  me, the least I can do is end things the right way." I nodded my head and looked ahead at the empty street.

Without another thought, Killian left a soft kiss on my cheek and turned to open the car door.

"You know how to reach me if you need anything" He assured me before closing the car door. I watched as he walked away, disappearing into the dark street before I started the car. The slick road was illuminated by the dim headlights as I drove back to the cottage. I yawned as I pulled into the gravel driveway, the petite white cottage welcoming me home.

As soon as I got inside, I peeled the clothes off of my damp body and started a hot bath. I hoped to bring my core temperature back up because even though my soul felt warm, my body did not feel the same way.

The goosebumps that covered my pale skin disappeared as soon as I slid into the steaming water. Shadows of the flames of the candles danced along the bathroom walls as I watched, partially hypnotized. But my mind would not stop running.

How would I end things with Ethan? How could I just run from one man to another? As if I never even loved Ethan. Did I?

The love that I had for Ethan was different from the love that I had for Killian. My mom always told me that you will have three different types of loves in a lifetime. The first love, the intense love, and the unconditional love.

My first love, also known as my worst love; Bryce. The cheater, the abuser,  the narcissistic man-boy. Honestly calling him a man was a compliment to him but an insult to men.

And then I had my intense love; Killian. The lover who made me forget about my first love. The man who ignited a passionate flame inside of me. Made me hungry for his touch, made me desperate for his love, made me... simply obsessed. As much as I tried to pour water on the flame or cover it with sand, the fire was still just as intense.

Now I have my unconditional love; Ethan. He was my comfortable love. The love that is supposed to last forever. The love that I'm not supposed to question. The love that is supposed to be there for me at the end of the day and mine be there for him. The love that no matter what, it would still be there.

My head ached from the thoughts that just didn't make sense. So now I'm supposed to go backwards to my second love? Even though my third love is supposed to be my last?

"Ughhh" I groaned out loud, frustrated at how complicated this was. "This is not exactly my definition of relaxing" I muttered as I pulled the drain plug and started the shower. I quickly rinsed my body of the bath water and gave myself another wash before wrapping myself in a warm robe. I let the plush bed swallow my body as I succumbed to a deep slumber.