This Time

|26| IKA-DALAWAMPU'T ANIM NA KABANATA

— AIDEN —

You know that feeling when you're trying to suppress from breaking down in front of someone for so long and when you finally have the time alone, you just fall into pieces. Because that's what I feel right now.

The conversation happened yesterday but the pain still lingers. I chose not to go to class and hallow on my pathetic feelings. Her words echoing in my mind over and over again.

This doesn't mean I feel the same...

I consider you my friend...

I may have underestimated the admiration I have for Professor Peterson because as soon as her words hit and the rejection finally clear in my head, the unshed tears fell continuously and the pain intensified.

Imagine liking someone for the first time in your life only to be disappointed and left heartbroken. And despite trying to tell myself that it was okay, I couldn't help but feel like I deserved it. I couldn't help but think that my papa was right.

I am incapable of being loved.

"Aiden?"

A voice brought me out of my thoughts. I hurriedly wiped my face and frantically put on a show on my phone, just in time for Vera to enter the room.

"Hey–why are you crying? Are you okay?" She immediately went to me, gently grabbing my face and wiping the tears away. "Did someone say anything to you?"

I chuckled. "I'm watching a drama." I quickly showed the phone, but not enough for her to see what was on. "Sorry for making you worry."

Vera bit her lip and playfully slapped my arm. "I was about to slap a bitch."

"You can slap the writer of this show for me." I joked.

"On it, babe," she pinched my nose. "Are you sure you're okay?" I nodded, smiling. "Good. I don't like seeing you sad."

"Why?"

"Because it makes me sad too," Vera whispered, amber eyes staring into mine. Her hand still not leaving my cheek, thumb caressing my skin. "Besides, you're way prettier when you're happy."

I knew she was kidding and trying to make me laugh, and she succeeded. "So I'm ugly when I'm not?"

Vera scrunched her nose, nodding playfully. "Yup, soooo ugly."

"I remember when you were sad," I said, and her brow raised, also recalling our first meeting. "You were crying that time."

She squinted her eyes. "Why? Did I look ugly?"

I wanted to say yes but I couldn't lie and say she did. I shook my head. "No. You looked really pretty."

Her cheeks reddened, but despite the blushing, the red-head flipped her hair in a playful manner. "I know. It's something I can't avoid doing."

"Crying?"

"No," Vera pushed me lightly. "Being beautiful."

"Stop flirting you two!" It was Julius. "We're supposed to be leaving!"

"Oh right," Vera chuckled, blushing. "Take a shower and get dressed, we're going clubbing." I think Vera isn't aware that I say at the dorm whenever my friends go to the club.

I was about to protest and say I didn't want to, but the voice in my head demands a distraction. A big one. Something that will get my mind off of things. So without a doubt in my decision, I agreed to joining them.

My friends led me to a gay bar, considering that the majority won– Vera, Zoey and I being attracted to women. Besides, it's not like Julius and Lexie have to look for someone to flirt with, they're in a relationship together.