Chapter Eighteen

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Hello hello, lovely people! Another update!!! I think I'll be updating bi-weekly (trying to at least) on the weekends. Thank you all for your support <3

Song: Oulala By: Vundabar

"C'mon Hitoshi-Chan! C'mooon!" 
No matter how much I pushed him to come on this field trip, he seemed like an anchor at the bottom of the sea. With his skinny little arms crossed over his chest and eyebrows pinching together, he wouldn't even look at me. I remember how my cheeks puffed up and I playfully whacked him on the head over and over again,

"C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! It'll be so much fun! I'll be there a-and we'll get to see the stars! And it won't even be nighttime!"

When we were in elementary, there was a field trip Hitoshi and I's class were going to take to see a planetarium. I've never been and the fact I could see stars in the daytime was more than enough to excite me to the point my stomach would go all flip-floppy just thinking about it.

"FINE." 


And with my stubbornness, I had convinced a solemn grumpy little boy. 
I remember skipping onto the bus with Hitoshi and our classmates. I was bouncing in the gray leather bus seats from how ecstatic I was. Hitoshi sat by the window just playing his DS, he was far from enjoying what I had pulled him into, or at least he would never admit it if he was.

"Hey!"
I heard Hitoshi say and then a wave of giggling from the back of the bus, with whispers and side glances to follow. 
My eyes grew big and curious, "What happened Hitoshi-Chan?" 
"N-Nothing..." He muttered rubbing the back of his head gently. I decided to believe him until he yelped again and whipped his head around, everyone stifled their laughter and tried not to look him in his feisty purple eyes. I put a hand on his shoulder, "Hitoshi-Chan, talk to me." 

I remembered how concerned I was, how confused and dumb I felt. 
He slumped down against the rough textured seats, lips pressing together so tight like he was trying not to blurt out something that could shift the weight of the world. His beat-up worn sneakers scuffed at the dirty black flooring and he only swayed with the bus' turns and bumps. 

"I think... I think they're..." He spoke quietly so that only I could hear him amongst the chatter and volume of our peers around us. "I think they're shooting spitballs at my head."

And I remember how angry I got. And I remember being able to suddenly hyperfocus on all their whispers as they side-eyed my best friend.


"He's ruining the whole trip..."
"God, why'd he have to come..."
"He should have just stayed back at school..."

I remembered wanting to cry for the little boy that sat beside me who never cried. He sat up straight and went back to his game, and I just watched him. How he posed himself, how he handled the situation by not lifting a finger. He expected nothing from me. 

I remember how focused his eyes were on the tiny screen in his hands and how he said in a quiet little voice, "Tell me about the stars."

At the time I felt like he was just trying to change the subject so I didn't lose myself at the mean kids that hurt him. But now, when I think back to this, maybe he just wanted to see me smiling again at that moment.

So I did as he asked, I started rambling to him all I know about stars. I told him all about the different types and how there were billions up there and about the different constellations I knew about.
"Do you know how they die?"
I shook my head.
"Well, some stars collapse and explode into beautiful colours," He kept his eyes on his game, not glancing at me who was staring holes into his head, enticed by every word passing his lips. I leaned on the palms of my hands looking at him with my big E/C eyes. "and then what's leftover
is known as a neutron star but," 
He looked at me, "sometimes they turn into a black hole."

"A black hole,"
I repeated in a quiet voice.

And I remember getting off the bus thinking about that, and filing into the big building with all my classmates, putting on the sunglasses like spectacles that was given to us and staring in awe at the sight before me. I grabbed ahold of Hitoshi's arm excitedly talking his ear off about how pretty it all was.

"I wish I could be up there!"
I had said grinning so big at him that my cheeks hurt, "I wish I could be with the stars and be as pretty as they are." I looked back up at the array of space before me.

"You already are, Y/n-Chan."


And then I felt the small wet object splat against the back of my head.
"Wah!" I yelped reaching back there, feeling the tiny spitball.

The rest felt like a blur. I think I remember Hitoshi ripping his arm away from me and getting all up in Tanaka's face, a smaller boy than Hitoshi. I remember the brainwashing my best friend did and Tanaka sobbing uncontrollably afterward because of the self wedgie Hitoshi had manipulated him to do.

 I remember sitting outside the big amazing building that created all my wonder of the universe and sitting right next to someone who felt like my universe.
 The sun was blazing down on us and it made the curb steaming hot but we didn't really care at that moment. I offered to sit outside with Hitoshi, I didn't want him to be alone and miss out on everything by himself. But my heart was breaking and longing to see those pretty stars again. 

"I'm sorry Y/n-Chan..."
He mumbled staring at his sweaty palms. I shook my head at him and just smiled, "It's alright Hitoshi-Chan, you were just protecting me. Like how I protect you."  He just nodded and we went back to silence.

"...You wanna know another cool thing about stars and space?"
Hitoshi asked looking at me and I met with his purple eyes. "Of course," I said, and then he pointed up to the big bright sun.
"There's always stars in the sky, and that right there is one of the largest stars out there."Wh-What!" I squinted at the firey ball in the sky with my hand over my eyes to shield them from its beautiful big rays of sunlight.

"You don't need a planetarium to see stars in the daytime. Cause this one is always gonna be there. The sun is the star that won't ever die out...at least I hope so."
I laughed, I laughed and laughed and then I cried. I don't know why, but I just started crying and laughing, I must've looked insane to Hitoshi. But he didn't show if he thought that of me. He just cracked a small smile and tapped the temple of my head.

That's the first and last ever field trip I've had. And today, I'm going to get a new experience. A do-over.

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