MADMAN'S ARMS

46

Beverly Frazier

I sat in the bed next to Brandon, with my back leaning against the wall. My head was carefully placed on his shoulder and our hands were perfectly tied together as we sat in peaceful silence.

My body was still exhausted after our cigarette moment that turned into something a lot more intimate, and ended up with the most glorious moment with Brandon showing me his strong appetite and driving me to explode only with his soft oral movements.

"You know this is madness, right?" I exclaimed out loud as the anxiety of guilt hit me like a slap over the face. It was true what we did was completely insane. Everything that happened between us, the relationship we shared, and what I felt towards him, all of it was mad.

I didn't want it to stop, but I still knew how tremendously wrong it all was. But since the damage was already done and the sin was already committed, I didn't hesitate even for a second to end what I was doing, even if I risked everything within it.

Brandon sat quietly for almost a full minute before he decided to speak. I couldn't see his face, but since my statement was quite insolent and could be interpreted as offensive, I could imagine him being a bit surprised by my words.

"This whole place is filled with madness, Beverly,"  He breathed out with a brittle voice.

The way he was so extremely right with his words made me feel approved, but still I got a bit rueful with the way he compared our tender relationship with all the sickening misery inside these institutional walls.

"I didn't mean to insult you, Brandon, I just-"

He interrupted me.

"I know. Trust me, I know how wrong this is. You don't have to explain it to me,"

I got quiet with the surprise of his emotionless words and I allowed the silence to speak once more. I was glad that he didn't get offended by what I said, but still I noticed he didn't read my words the way I wanted him to. What I wanted to bring forward was the realization of my actions, and prove to him that even though my awareness of how terribly wrong it was, I still didn't want to quit it, which was literal madness. I moved my head off Brandon's shoulder and looked at him only to give him a shy smile.

His brown eyes sparkled as they met mine and his face was beautiful as ever as I inspected his rare features.

"Kiss me," He whispered as he penetrated my soul like he could steer me with his gaze.

I didn't have much more of a choice than carefully lean forward and meet with his soft lips.

My cheeks got warmer by the thought of where those lips had been just minutes earlier, but I didn't care, it just made me feel more naughty and playful in this already acknowledged madness.

Once again my heart started racing when he gently grabbed my lower lip with his teeth and placed his hand in the back of my neck, digging his fingers into my scalp, bringing me shivers.

The pleasuring painful grip made me whine quietly between our inseparable lips.

"I never want to stop this," Brandon murmured against the sensitive skin of my swollen lips, making me groan out in another pant.

"Neither do I," I responded.

"You know that I need you, you've always known," His sentence made my stomach ache and I got speechless by the sudden statement. I knew by now that Brandon didn't lie to me, or anyone at all, but it was still hard for me to understand why he was so attached and obsessed with me after such a short amount of time.

Even if I felt the same for him, I wasn't the one being mentally unstable. I could still use my senses in a proper way and trust my emotions as far as I knew. But surely I didn't know if Brandon could. What if this was only a comfort for him? Having someone close to him when every other person around him didn't even dare looking at him. How could he possibly know that he was not just manipulated by the intimacy we shared? How could he know that he truly needed me, and not only craved the vicinity and fair, humane treatment?

His words went on repeat in my head, but I didn't want to devour our romantic moment by making a thing of what he just said with my curious and unreasonable questions.

"I know, Brandon," I purred before our lips met once more to make up the beautiful moment between us like the perfect ending of a romantic film.

Here I sat, on the messed-up sheets in front of a man known as a cold-hearted, manipulative psychopath, with my lips tightly pressed against his. I was so aware of it all, but still, I didn't want to realize the very problem with what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, but it was not much more to me than that. It was just like I couldn't perceive it anymore.

With the way I felt for him, and how my body physically reacted whenever I was close enough to his aura, it was like I couldn't manage to comprehend it at all.

No matter how psychologically educated I was and how much of a professional I was regarding the human brain, this chaotic presence was just flying by me like an imperceptible gust of wind.

I was slowly switching sides, converting to the unstable one. The wicked and illogical one which was shared by the people being locked up inside the cellar doors of this institution. I was slowly turning into one of them as my sanity evaporated more with every second passing me by.

In the most careful and insidious way, I was taken away from my mentality, too slowly for me to ever notice. I was falling for a dangerous and toxic person who could never handle falling in love. I was descending in the arms of a person who had the tendency to hurt me, both with his violent hands, but as much with his manipulative way only of speaking to other human beings. I was confiding myself to a person who killed people, a convicted murderer hated by the whole nation, who deserved to sit on death row for his brutal actions.

He was my patient, my current project to heal, I was his nurse, and in the world of profession and reality, we should be on the complete opposite side of each other, fighting against one another's brain only to conquer with manipulation.

But I was no longer present in reality.

Over time I had slowly faded out to step inside another world filled with the forbidden, the abnormal, and the insane way of existing...