MADMAN'S ARMS

28

With my hands placed in my lap, I continued the session with Brandon after what I had just heard.

It was important for me to feel close to him, to get into his brain and understand him better, and by now I was succeeding further every time I met with him.

"Can I ask if you feel any regret? About what you did?"

I looked at Brandon as his facial expression turned into a very focused, cogitated one.

Undeniably, my hope for a yes was there, but deep inside I already knew what he was going to say.

"I told you that I had to do it," Brandon's voice was low and unobtrusive, and I could tell there was something inside of him that didn't feel quite right, even if he didn't fully regret what he had done.

"So there's no feeling of regret at all? Are you proud of what you've done?" I asked my further question to help him reach his inner kind self, because I knew it was in there somewhere.

He wasn't always like this, he was a normal boy once, until his barbaric stepfather destroyed him. The only thing to fight for now was to find that innocent, friendly, loving boy who was there before evil captured his body and soul.

"I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for him. It's all his fault. So if you ask me if it was worth it? Yes. If I would do it again to get to him? Yes I would," His words were now more confident and candid, and even if it made me sad to hear him say that, I would lie if I said that I lost my sympathy for him.

It was still true that it was his stepfather's fault, even if Brandon's own actions only would punish himself and not make that explanation justified by any judge.

"Okay, Brandon. That's good to know," I decided to stay as friendly as possible to keep his trust and comfort with me.

Every chance I got, I needed to take to get to know him better, and yet, I had to remember to keep my promise and not treat him like a monstrous man no matter what I found out about him...

"Speaking of something else, I also wonder, did something happen to you while I was absent from here?"

I couldn't let go of the image of the broken, sad boy who sat in the window when I entered his room for the first time in six days.

I knew that he was unstable and did things to himself while I was gone, but this time it looked like he had been humiliated or punished by someone else and not by himself.

The way he sat there on the window sill, with big puppy eyes, withdrawn in posture made me feel suspicious and confused. And the way he reacted when he noticed I was back was something completely different, which made my stomach turn immediately as I noticed something was wrong.

"I'm fine,"

I knew that Brandon wasn't capable of lying, so even if his response wasn't really convincing, I got the answer to my question.

My heart started beating faster and my belly ached in fear of figuring out what he had been put through while I was gone.

No matter what painful punishment or treatment he was put through, I knew it was badly torturous, because all of them were.

"What did they do to you?" I noticed my voice being more frustrated and annoyed by the information that somebody did something horrible to him while I wasn't here.

"It was the goddamn tub, but I'm fine, Beverly!"
The imagination of Brandon being forced into the boiling hot water brought me to shivers.

I wondered what must have happened for him to end up in there, because as far as I knew, the nurses didn't just put the patients in there for fun.

A logical reason was always needed for a decision like that to be made. Usually, the tubs were used to calm down outrageous, aggressive or unstoppable hyperactive patients which made me come to the conclusion that something like that must have happened while Nurse Browne or one of the other nurses unsuccessfully tried to handle Brandon this past week.

"Let me see your skin," I demanded as I glared at him, trying my best not to be embarrassed.
Brandon got up from where he sat and slowly pulled the white cloth up to expose the skin of his lower stomach.

The sight of his extremely fine, muscular body made the butterflies go mad inside of me, but the second I noticed the red, burned skin, my heart skipped a beat and I turned stone cold on the inside. I grit my teeth to manage my feelings as I inspected the flaring skin.

"I'll go get you something," I decided to say nothing more, I just turned around to get to the door. The least I could do for Brandon was to go get him some drugs for the pain he must have felt. Then maybe after that, I could start asking him about what really happened.

But just as I reached the heavy handle of the door with my grip, I felt a hand grabbing my wrist.

Immediately I stopped and turned around again to face Brandon who was now standing right in front of me. My belly started screaming from his closeness and I shrugged as I looked at him with big wondering eyes.

"The only thing I need is you," He said, looking deeply into my soul.

My knees got feeble, and as always I tried my best not to completely fall for his romantic words.

I already told him that this couldn't happen again, because it really couldn't, but with this distance between us, and those piercing eyes penetrating my own, it was too hard to resist the profound attraction.