MADMAN'S ARMS

31

Tuesday, August 27th

Before my shift started today, I decided I should pay a visit to Dorothy's office to speak with her regarding taking Brandon out to the garden. I didn't know if it would work, due to his outbreak just three days ago, but it was worth a try.

Standing outside the chief's office, I carefully knocked on the door as I swallowed my nervousness. The thing I was about to ask of her actually made me quite uptight since the last thing I wanted was to disappoint Brandon. Even though he recently behaved kind of well when he was around me, I didn't know how I was supposed to convince Dorothy about that without mentioning something about him having feelings for me.

No matter what way my words would turn out, I promised Brandon that I would try my best to get her to assent to me taking him out in the institutional garden.

After being approved to get in, I opened the door and stepped inside the abnormally big office, furnished only with brown and black fitment.

"Beverly?" Said Dorothy as she glanced up at me with a surprised face.

I carefully traced over the dark wooden floor and sat down in front of the woman where she sat by her desk. One last time I thought about what to say to get the best response from her, then I opened my mouth to speak, letting go of the insecurity.

"I wanted to speak with you about Brandon," I declared, using my friendliest voice. She looked up at me again, this time with a curious face slowly turning into concerned.

"Is everything okay? Did he outrage again?" She inquired with the most strict voice. Immediately I shook my head and shrugged in withdrawal before I proceeded with the conversation. I was still afraid of her, which made my body want to act in defense, but if I was going to succeed with my mission of favor, I needed to keep Dorothy settled.

"No. Actually... he has been very good lately, he talks to me and manages to stay calm during our sessions. He is not showing any sign of aggression at the moment and I think it is important to show him that he is behaving the right way. Also, I heard about Nurse Browne and the tub situation, so I understand if you are doubtful. I just wanted to let you know that he is doing really well during the sessions with me,"

Carefully and accurately, I explained myself to get her to understand, maybe even to make her feel a little bit of sympathy. She played around with her pen for a couple of seconds while looking hesitant.

Her eyes were seriously stiff and her jaw tensed as she worked hard with figuring out how to respond.

"So how do you want to show him that exactly? You want to give him some kind of reward for behaving?" Dorothy's words were skeptical, and I started losing my hope of succeeding. I didn't want her to believe I was stupid or that I was treating him differently from the other patients, but granting someone a reward for doing something good was undoubtedly a perfect way of manipulating the person to keep doing the same.

"Brandon has been here for a while now, and he hasn't been outside ever since he arrived. I was just thinking about taking him out in the garden? Some fresh air could help his therapy, and if he's already mad, I don't believe the constant time spent inside makes it any better,"

Noticing that I suddenly sounded kind of determined and reasoned, I looked away from the woman as I prepared for an answer of arrogance.

My meaning was not to speak to her like she was the one being wrong, but by all means I did want to convince her, for Brandon's sake.

Dorothy creased her eyebrows and tensed her eyes into mine. The wrinkles in her forehead came through which made her look even more grim, and once again I got withdrawn from the shame I felt for speaking to her the way I did. She was still my chief and no matter what I said to her, her words were always the last.

"Are you sure that he's behaving? That was not really what I experienced this Saturday..." Her statement made sense, but did she really think I was lying to her?

Undeniably, I was exaggerating a bit while explaining how good his behavior had been, because along the way, it hadn't truly been the best. But still, I was eager about getting him out. After all, his bad behavior this weekend also occurred because of me, so he didn't deserve to be punished for it.

"I am sure. Yesterday he started opening up to me about his past, he even told me he regret what he's done. I know it is unbelievable, but that's exactly why I want to reward him," In one last try, I convincingly answered Dorothy's question.

Her eyes widened a bit as she listened to me and she raised her eyebrows. Now her wrinkles were even more visible than before, which I never thought was even possible.

Her otherwise severe, angulate face now looked hilarious because of her expression. She sighed out loud as she leaned forward onto her elbows placed on the desk.

"You can take him out this afternoon, two hours maximum. But if he even as much as twitch, you force him into his cell again. Make sure no other patient is out there as well, if he is getting out it is just you and him, and a guardsman of course,"

I couldn't help but smile as I listened to Dorothy's words. She actually just approved my desperate beg for exemption. The serious atmosphere between us got easier the second she gave me what I wanted.

"And I do not want you to make a scene out of this, Beverly. Make sure that no other patient from Ward 5 gets to know this, and don't let Brandon think this is his new habit,"

I nodded my head ardently while slowly raising from the chair in front of the determined woman.

"Thank you so much, Ms. Schwartz!" I almost sheered like a child.

"Well, get out then. Your shift starts now does it not?" She said using her rude, ironic voice, and I followed her orders. My heart pounded with happiness and adrenaline as I walked my way out her room.

I couldn't believe I convinced her. Brandon was going to get so delighted about this, I figured since I believed it meant much to him that I fought on his behalf and did something nice to him.

To my knowledge, people didn't do that very often, and that's why I thought he deserved an act of kindness for once. As yet, I couldn't even imagine myself staying inside for so long without getting even a tiny breath of fresh air...