trash star - punznap

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the sun is just coming up over the hills when they zoom past sleepy neighborhoods and boring concrete. it's a monday morning like no other.

normally nick would be dragging his feet on the ground at this time of day, stumbling down the sidewalk like a zombie to get to school. but now he's rolling down a tinted window, leaning out and feeling the wind blow through his hair.

they're speeding down the highway in a black benz truck, living life in the fast lane. nick feels untouchable like this, watching nature fly by faster than he can think. he feels like a rich kid, a fucking god.

"turn this shit up!" he shouts to luke, putting his hand on the car roof.

the music blasts out of the speakers, so loudly that it's almost impossible to hold a conversation. but that doesn't matter when they're both belting out the lyrics, hyping each other up for what's about to come.

nick headbangs, drums his hands against the door and sings his heart out. the wind hurts his ears, dries out his eyes, but he's too excited to care. nothing can bring him down when he's like this. free, reckless, and totally fucking whipped.

there's not even a hint of anxiety present in his conscience. whether it's because he's finally found a way to shut it all out, or he's just genuinely not nervous, he doesn't know. or maybe it's luke's chronic sense of calm that's infected him. it's like the guy never gets worked up about anything.

whatever's the reason for his careless attitude, he gladly embraces it. he's proud of himself for being so collected when he'd usually feel sick to his stomach during moments like these. strutting into school, hand in hand with the popular kid for the first time could make anyone freak out. it doesn't help that they're two boys, either.

when nick eventually starts to get too cold, he sits back in his seat, closing the window again. he's laughing, and he doesn't know why. everything is just so wonderful. the way the sky is such a perfect mix of pink and blue, the way luke glances at him out of the corner of his eye. he's smiling too, because seeing nick this happy is one of his favorite things in the world. if he didn't have to focus on the road he'd turn his head and kiss the idiot, right on his lips.

he turns the music down, just so they can hear each other over it. his right hand slowly drifts towards nick in the passenger seat, finding its way to his thigh to grip it. he strokes it gently with his thumb, wishing it wasn't covered by fabric.

nick catches himself blushing at the act. this is life. this is what living is like. for real.

he's sitting beside his lover, his prince, wearing his clothes from head to toe. the sleeves on the gray sweatshirt are too long for him, and so are the baggy, ripped jeans. luke specifically wanted him to wear those since they've been his favorites for years, even though nick steps on them every time he walks.

on his feet are a pair of custom made nike shoes, almost brand new. his jaw had dropped when luke told him that he paid upwards of four to five hundred dollars for them. nick refused to put them on at first, worried that he was gonna crease them and get them dirty, but luke kept insisting that it was fine. in his own words, he really wanted his most special boy to wear his most special shoes. nick had never cringed harder than he did at that sentence.

but now that he's sitting in luke's car, being driven to school, he thinks back and just finds it sweet. he feels like a treasure, like royalty, like a celebrity. and when he buries his nose in gray fabric, it only smells like his favorite person in the world; like his cologne and his scented shampoo.

"was it the first time or the last time that i saw you?

when you sought refuge with your father and his good will."

nick's phone vibrates. he already knows who's texting him.

zzzadie:

when are you here? i've got class soon

pandas:

prolly about 5 min

zzzadie:

ok i'm by the main entrance

pandas:

okkk c uuuu

he still owes sadie a huge explanation. he tried to talk to her over the phone, but could only get an apology out before he began stumbling over his words, making no sense. she had sighed quite audibly before asking him to meet her in front of school instead.

nick wonders what she'll say when he shows up alongside luke. will she be shocked? happy for him? he hopes it's the latter. they haven't talked much about his feelings for luke before, since he hasn't been wanting to bring it up.

the hand on his thigh moves, searching for nick's own and intertwining their fingers. luke then lifts them, putting his knuckles to his lips and kissing every single one while he's still driving. nick just giggles, his face going red for what could be the thousandth time today. everything that luke does is so effortlessly sweet. he feels spoiled.

"so we're meeting sadie first, right?" he casually asks, still nuzzling the back of nick's hand.

"yeah, just... need to speak to her quickly before she's got class."

luke doesn't respond for a while, but when he does, it's accompanied by a sigh.

"i can't believe i put you on her back then."

"what do you mean?" nick wonders.

"well i- 'suggested' her to you, knowing damn well the situation you were in.. i was being an asshole, as usual. i was playing with your feelings."

"we were both assholes, luke. blind fucking assholes."

nick watches his boyfriend's focused face, a small smile growing on his lips.

"and besides, i think getting to know sadie was the last push i needed to realize that i just don't like girls. she's a good friend of mine now."

luke shrugs, turning onto the highway exit. gray concrete is soon replaced by green grass and lively parks. nick always forgets how nice this part of town actually is. and he also forgets how the hell he ended up attending school here. he doesn't know if he'll ever remember that.

it's not far now. they steal kisses from each other at red lights, because they're so in love and they don't care if it's cheesy. nick feels like the main character, like the focus of the plot when luke touches him so carefully. and his story has only just begun.

he sees the big parking lot, the main building, students arriving and lingering by the entrance. the car slows down, and he doesn't even feel nervous. just determined. just absolutely ecstatic.

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