trash star - punznap

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"what are you doing here?"

luke tilts his head, perhaps surprised at the aggressive tone. a tile comes loose underneath his shoe.

"am i not allowed to be here?"

he leans against the wall only a few feet in front of nick. his whole stature screams of overconfidence.

nick huffs, "why are you going to prom at all if you don't have a date? i know you broke up with your girl."

"she was the one who broke up with me, actually," luke explains, "then she hopped on social media to make me look like the bad guy."

"oh? really?"

the butterflies are long gone. his heart has stopped fluttering. he clenches his fists, ready to stand up for himself once and for all. it's like a switch inside his mind has suddenly flipped. there's an urge to prove his strength, and he can't control it.

"yeah. she thought i didn't give her enough attention."

luke crosses his arms. his eyes look tired, unconcerned.

"and maybe i didn't. i never liked her anyway."

"you're an asshole," nick mutters.

he gets a half-suppressed laugh in return.

"mm, i'm an asshole..." luke hums, "so why are you here, nick?"

he steps closer and closer until they're almost touching. nick's breathing starts to hitch. he knows he's screwed if he doesn't get his shit together soon.

"you don't have a date either."

luke says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. nick opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. he ran out of lies and excuses long ago.

he can't even look the blond boy in the eyes. instead he jumps down from the windowsill, pushing past him to create some space. the loose tile slides away when he kicks it.

"who were you trying to fool, huh?"

luke's voice is still calm and composed. he doesn't even really sound angry. just... disappointed. somehow it hurts nick even more.

he approaches the mirror in front of him. it's got a big crack running straight across it, and some sharpie doodles staining its surface. his reflection stares back at him, copies everything he does.

he can see luke in it too, and luke can see that he's glancing at him. nick grips the edges of the dirty sink with both of his hands, leaning over it.

"yourself?"

his head is hung in what can only be classified as shame. he sighs. he sighs because he doesn't know what else to do. because luke is right.

there's footsteps, shuffling, and then a careful hand on his shoulder. it's warm, and way more comforting than he'd like to admit. it makes his whole body feel tingly. all the emotions he tried so hard to run away from, all the desires he shut down to be able to move on. they're back like they never left.

"i think you're a bit of an asshole too," luke states.

"why?" nick mumbles, turning his head away.

"you're taking advantage of sadie."

"she agreed to it!"

"only because she liked you, dumbass."

nick lets go of the sink, slithering away from their position. his throat is closing up. he can't let luke see him when he starts crying like a little kid.

"i wanted to like her too!" he exclaims, "i was trying so hard to fall in love with her, b-but.."

luke follows him with his gaze. his calmness frustrates nick; it's almost like he's impossible to upset. his eyes are serious, but there's something else lurking in them too. they observe nick with a type of fondness that he's never seen before. though maybe it's just another illusion, brought on by his lovesick mind.

"so you finally admit it..."

"admit what?" he questions.

"that you're gay."

his heart won't stop racing. he takes a deep, shaky breath, leaning his back against a wall. his mouth remains shut, because he knows that luke doesn't need words to understand. the truth is already out. it's been out for a long time.

he looks up at the ceiling, at his spray painted masterpiece. it holds so many memories, both good and bad ones. it's like a capsule of teenage rebellion, of anguish and confusion. but most of all, it's a reflection of a glamorized ideal that he chased, but could never reach.

trash star. the shine really made him blind. and he nearly lost himself along the way.

"you know, i just couldn't wait around for you," luke sighs, "i wanted to, but you were so.. god, you were so deep in denial. it was painful to watch."

nick stares down at the floor.

"maybe i should've done something more, but at the time it felt like a lost cause. i thought you were scared of me, and what was i to do then?"

luke steps closer, slowly at first. his expression is milder now, almost sentimental. nick has never seen him like this before. usually he's so cocky and straightforward, always spitting out insults and clever comebacks. he used to never show his weaknesses, never let that rough facade come down.

"it's not like i could force you to figure yourself out."

even in the dullest lighting he's gorgeous. his eyes seem to glow. they're such a piercing blue like a beautiful lake in winter, and nick can't help but drown. he fell in love with those eyes so long ago, even though he didn't want to admit it back then.

luke doesn't stop until there's only a few inches left between their bodies. maybe it's intentional. maybe he wants to make nick dizzy with adoration. maybe he wants to take his breath away for the millionth time.

there's no escape now. not that nick would want to escape anyway. how could he ever want to flee from this feeling? it's the most powerful thing he's ever experienced, more powerful and mind-altering than any drug in the world. he's totally gone.

"you're quiet," luke says, so close that nick can feel his hot breath on his face, "are you still scared of me?"

for the first time in minutes, nick finds the courage to speak. and he doesn't hesitate.

"no."

"so, what do you want? tell me."

nick tells him with his shaky hands. they come to rest on the back of his head, pulling him in just a little bit further. he tells him by shutting his eyes, and parting his lips. he tells him by finally erasing that last distance between them.

despite the time apart, they flow together just as perfectly as they used to. it's like they were meant for each other with the way their hearts interact. that emptiness that would consume nick - that feeling that something's missing - is all gone. he's whole now. complete.

he pulls away, panting, desperate.

"you, fuck- luke, i want you.."

and luke kisses him harder, and his hands get rougher, and nick loves it beyond belief. his knees go weak, his legs tremble, his head spins. he shivers when he tastes sweet bubblegum on his tongue, shivers like crazy. goosebumps scatter across the skin on his back, his neck, everywhere.

luke pins him to the wall, forces their hips together. nick just whines, so helpless at the mercy of the other boy. he would let luke do anything he pleases to him, he would grant him full control over his body. just the thought of it drives him absolutely wild.

the speakers in the gymnasium crackle. someone is about to have a speech. but in nick's world none of that exists. he can't hear a thing. only luke. he's the only thing that matters. just luke, just luke, just his luke, his beautiful boy and his soft lips and his warmth and his tongue.

but he wants more. he needs more. so so bad.

°. •. 。