trash star - punznap

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instead of typing out a response, luke opens the front camera and takes a picture of himself. his hair is tousled, and his half-lidded eyes make him look high. he quickly sends it before nick can complain.

"what the hell?"

new phone who dis

"she's gonna be even more confused now!"

"eh, whatever, she'll be fine," luke sarcastically hums, brushing nick off and putting the phone out of his reach. there's no winning.

he finishes his breakfast soon after, having scarfed it down in under three minutes. luke pushes the tray aside so he can capture him in a sweet side hug. it startles him at first, serving as a painful reminder of just how sensitive he is. however after some calming back rubs, he's all good again.

"let's talk."

normally those words would be jarring to hear, but luke's serene tone of voice - the way he's nuzzling nick's shoulder - softens them significantly.

"about what?"

"about us."

nick swallows. he knew this was coming. it needed to be brought up eventually.

"yeah?" he mumbles, unsure of what else to say.

"i just want to know what your feelings are, what you're comfortable with and stuff."

luke's fingers card through his hair, with the sole intent of soothing him.

"i don't wanna scare you off again."

his heart stings. knowing now that luke was trying to get closer to him from the start makes him feel guilty. he must've been so frustrated at nick's indecisiveness.

"'m sorry.."

"sorry for what?" luke wonders.

"for... just running away from you, avoiding you-"

"hey, sweetheart.."

strong, protective arms hold him tight, like they're afraid to let go. he's peppered with small kisses, smothered in reassurance.

"don't apologize. you didn't do anything wrong. you were just lost and confused, and that's okay," luke explains, "i've been there. i was in denial too. you should've seen me before high school, i was a fucking wreck."

he laughs a little upon mentioning his past, as if the bad memories have finally become nostalgic. nick can't wait until the day when he'll be able to do the same; look back and just chuckle at how dumb he once was. at least he hopes a day like that will come.

"nick?"

luke nudges him to catch his attention. he lets his head fall back onto the blond boy's shoulder, resting it there as he speaks.

"you are so fucking amazing, and i mean it. you've realized that something's up, you've taken your time to figure it out and you've come to accept yourself. that's more than a lot of people in the same situation ever manage to do."

nick can't stop the heat that spreads to his cheeks, or the big smile taking over his expression.

"i'm proud of you," luke coos, "i really am."

their lips meet in a brief kiss. it's a little clunky because of the way they're positioned, but neither of them have the energy to care. luke lovingly itches nick's beard, finding every single sweet spot with ease. the latter shuts his eyes with a content sigh.

"also, there's some things i'd like to apologize for," luke suddenly interrupts.

nick looks at him funny, not understanding.

"just.. how i acted around you back then, the shit i said," he continues, "i was such a cocky bitch for no reason, like i was always trying to be cool and shit, it was really stupid. i'm nothing like that normally."

"it's okay," nick whispers, snuggling closer.

"i knew i was catching feelings for you but i didn't wanna get all soft, so i guess i just tried to act cold instead, kinda keep that rivalry dynamic going, you know? and i was afraid that you'd think i was weird for trying to get with you, so... god, i don't know, it was a mess. i'm sorry."

nick silently comforts him by rubbing his skin; his neck, his chest, his bicep. he adores every part of luke. every flaw, every inconsistency. they feel ethereal underneath his hand.

"what's on your mind? i've spoken so much now, i want to hear what you think."

"i..." nick starts, clearing his throat, "was scared. yeah. of my feelings. of everything. i felt like there was something wrong with me. i didn't understand why your touch felt so good. i was.. ashamed."

he sighs, sinking further into luke's grip.

"i guess i realized it was a crush, so i avoided you to make it go away. i just didn't wanna admit anything to myself. i was gonna wait it out until graduation, and then i'd never have to see you again."

"i'm so happy you didn't."

luke smiles at him, twirling his fluffy hair.

"i.. did though," nick mutters, "if- if it wasn't for yesterday-"

"hey, don't overthink it. you chose to stay yesterday. you could've easily walked away, but you stayed. that's enough for me."

gentle lips press to his temple, leaving kisses that could kill. they tickle, and he giggles like a little girl. luke does it over and over upon hearing his laughter, as if it's the cutest thing in the world to him. and maybe it is. maybe nick is the cutest thing in the world.

at least that's what it feels like, when luke gazes down at him with his baby blues. they've never sparkled so intensely before. they're like a bright afternoon sky, but with stars instead of clouds. how could you not fall for those eyes?

nick doesn't know. he's so comfortable there, practically sitting in luke's lap. there has to be no better place on earth. it's impossible. strands of hair are tucked behind his ear, and it's impossible. he's never felt so full of life before.

that's why he doesn't have to hesitate when luke asks his next question.

"do you wanna be my boyfriend?"

"yes."

his voice cracks. he's so happy that he could explode. luke is his. he is luke's.

they kiss. it's magical. it's green grass and pretty flowers and majestic waterfalls. it's all that they've ever wanted. there's no more denial, no more blindness or ignorance. just them.

just them.

"baby?"

nick automatically reacts.

"yeah?"

"can you promise me one thing?" luke wonders.

"what?"

"that if something's bothering you, no matter how big or small it is, you'll come and talk to me? i just want to know if anything i do is making you feel uncomfortable. i don't care if you think it's dumb, if it's going against your boundaries at all it isn't dumb."

nick nods eagerly, grinning from ear to ear.

"i promise."

he's safe.

"thank you."

they sit there for a while, just admiring each other, sharing their powerful emotions. nothing more needs to be said. they would stay forever if they could. bodies intertwined, hearts connected.

then luke interrupts the moment by reaching for something. he slips the object between his fingers, bringing it over. and nick really thought the day couldn't get more amazing.

"smoke?"

he giggles again, partly because of excitement, partly because he knows that luke loves it.

"fuck yeah."

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