Strong (Louis Tomlinson's Cancer story)

Chapter 56: Gone

(Louis POV) 

"That looks painful" Niall said as some nurse flushed out my port. It got clogged a couple of minuets ago. "Can't really feel it. It just taste weird." I said. We had been talking on FaceTime for a good 30 minuets.

"So where is Zayn? I haven't seen him since they the day I told you guys to go on tour." I  said.

 "umm.....Guys we have to go right now! We are late!" Liam said looking at his watch. "Sorry Lou we will call you tomorrow! I hope you feel better." Harry said. "Oh okay. Have a good show." I said. They all waved and exited out of facetime.  

I was so bored and alone. It is noon and Allison took Kenz to get some lunch and start with her schooling again. I opened the livestream app on the computer and clicked on the link Paul gave me. One of the guards set up a camera on the front of the stage. I saw the guys come out and sing clounds. The fans were screaming so loud. 

"Sorry we are so late we were face timing a special someone. I think you know who." Niall said. The fans started yelling louder which made me smile. "He is working really hard on getting better so he can be back up here with us." Niall said."So I want to hear you sing his parts really loud because he is watching from London right now and he doesn't feel to good. this is Story of My life." Liam said.

I listened to them sing for a while. They were all jumping and laughing, well except for Zayn. He never really did that. They got to Little Things and during my solo they didn't play my recording they let the fans sing. I had to lower my volume on the laptop because it was to loud for my speakers. I tried to stay up to watch the rest of the concert but the meds where kicking in again. I fell asleep after the song ended. 

***

(3 days later)

The guys haven't called me in three days. I thought I said something wrong but I haven't talked to them since the day of the concert. Nobody ever called me the next day like they said and that kind of made me really mad. I could be dead for all they knew. They don't even know that I had an allergic reaction to the treatment. Yeah. My whole body turned red and I couldn't breath. Dr. Sefron said it took a while for the treatment take effect and thats why I just got the allergic reaction this morning. 

So since I can't be on the trial anymore they put me on a low dose of chemo until my scans next week. The guys have no clue at all because they won't freaking call so I was now calling them on facetime.

"Umm Louis...Hi." Liam said on the other side of the line. "What the heck guys. Why hasn't anybody called? I thought you all where the ones that wanted to hear my voice everyday. I..." 

"Lou..."

"No I'm not finished. I could of been dead and nobody would of known!  I almost died this morning but none of you would of known because nobody called. I had to go back on chemo but Nobody would of known!!!!! And where the fuck is Zayn! He hasn't said a word to me since the day before you all freaking left and....."

"Louis Zayn left." Liam said flatly. 

"Wh..what?" I asked in shock. 

"He left a couple of days ago back home without telling us why and we got news today from managment saying that he wasn't coming back. Zayn isn't going to be in One Direction anymore." Harry said whipping a tear. 

"B..But why? H...he can't do this!" I said. 

Everybody was quiet for a while.

"Lou did you say you almost died this morning?" Niall asked breaking the silence. "Um yeah. I had an allergic reaction to the treatment and I couldn't breath or move. They started me back on chemo" I said. "I'm sorry Lou we would of called it's just that this was a big surprise for us. We thought somebody called you or you saw it on twitter." Liam said. I haven't gone on twitter since all the hate I was getting. None of the guys knew that but I don't want to worry them.

"So you said he went home?" I asked. They all nodded. I got out of bed and put on my shoes. "Lou what are you doing?" Liam asked. "I have to go talk to him." I said. "Lou you need to stay in bed." Liam said. "And you can't stop me. I've got to go." I quickly closed my laptop before they could protest. I grabbed my backpack from under  the bed and hung my chemo bag in it. I got my oxygen from the corner and then swung the backpack around my shoulder. I grabbed my car keys that Liam left here for me and went out the door. After I snuck past the nurses station I knew I was in the clear now all I needed was to go talk to Zayn. 

When I got to our house I stormed inside and went straight to Zayns room to see him packing. "What the heck Zayn!" I yelled angry. "Lou what are you doing here?" He said. 

"DON'T LOU ME ZAYN! WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING! DO YOU KNOW HOW DEVASTATED THE GUYS ARE THAT YOU DIDN'T CALL THEM! YOU KNOW THAT I SAT IN MY BED FOR FIVE DAYS THINKING THAT I DID SOMETHING WRONG TO YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEND A FREAKING TEXT TO SEE HOW I WAS DOING! THE TREATMENT FAILED ZAYN AND I HAVE TO GO BACK ON THIS STUPID CHEMO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WHEN I AM DONE WITH GETTING DROWNED WITH POISON I AM  GOING RIGHT BACK AND GET ON THAT STAGE! I'M NOT LEAVING THIS BAND UNLESS I DIE WHICH AT THIS POINT MIGHT BE SOONER THAN I EXPECTED BUT THE POINT IS I'M NOT LEAVING A BAND THAT HAS BEEN A PART OF MY LIFE FOR 5 YEARS! 5 YEARS ZAYN!!! YOU ARE OUR BROTHER HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!!!!!" I yelled. I was furious. I was also out of breath from all the yelling and I sat down and put my head in my hands trying to catch my breath. 

"Lou...I mean Louis are you okay? What do you mean the trial didn't work?" He asked.

"Wh..at do you... care?" I said in between gasp. "Louis I'm taking you back to the hospital." He said. "NO.....I HATE YOU!" I yelled. He didn't listen to me but I was to out of it to know what was happening. I passed out. 

***

When I woke up I was in the same bed I had been in for three weeks. Zayn was sitting in the chair next to me staring at me. I just gave him an angry look. "Look Louis I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore. I can't go from city to city everyday and be under the pressure of thousands of fans everyday.  Louis this isn't real to me anymore I hate it." He said with a sad expression. I took off the oxygen mask they put on me. 

"Zayn do you think I like this? Do you think I like being pumped with poison everyday and throwing up everything I eat and not leaving my bed in almost a month! I hate this to Zayn. I hate it more than anything but if this would of never happened I would of never adopted Mackenzie or married Allison. If it wasn't for this band you would of never met Perrie. Think of everything this band has given you Zayn, and your just going to drop it all?" I asked. 

"I'm sorry Louis. Really. I hope you get better and everything but I just need some time. I'll see you around Lou."  He got up and left. Just like that. 

Zayn, my partner in crime, my best friend was gone.