Difficult Journey (A Big Girl Love Story)

Chapter 29 The Rain The Dock and The Fight

A/N
Just a warning that this chapter is a filler and it's a little intense (wink wink) and it just shows how May is trying to cope with her feelings. Alright alright! Have Fun!
The rain fell fast and hard, penetrating the dirt as it hit the ground. I can't breathe, I felt my chest tighten and my anxiety take over. I'm going to lose him, I'm going to be fat forever, and I don't know what Luke is going to say. I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve down further making sure he couldn't see my left arm. My body was soaked from head to toe as I stood outside waiting for Luke, so we could hang out today at his house. It was Saturday morning the sun was nowhere to be seen but the rain was coming down harder than cats and dogs. Luke pulled into the driveway and ran to me.
"What are you doing?" He yelled through the rain. "You're going to get sick." He said but all I was focused on was his lips. I wanted them on mine, I wanted him to kiss me so much my lips swelled up; just to prove that he loved me.
He came closer after I didn't answer him. I walked up to him and grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to me. Our lips moved in sync as I deepened the kiss, having my tongue dance with his. I felt his shock through me. His tongue taking over the dominance with in the kiss. His hand reached my bum and squeezed it. I jumped a little causing Luke to smile in the kiss. His hands gripped my bum and made me crave him more; I began to kiss him harder, faster, if that were possible. Our lips kept pace as I felt Luke's hands grab my thighs and pick me up. I squealed in the kiss, I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me over to his truck. He slowly leaned me against the truck keeping his left hand wrapped around my right thigh and opened the passenger side door. He picked me up and moved me to the passenger side door. He plopped me down and kissed down my neck. I moaned as he found my sweet spot and he smiled. He started climbing on top of me in the truck. I put the middle part of the seat up and scooted back so we could close the truck door. Luke turned around and closed the door and continued to kiss my neck. I let a moan accidently slip out and Luke growled eagerly in response. I grabbed his face in-between my hands and brought his lips up to mine. His lips left me in such a trance it made my body tingle, from my deep down core to my toes. Our tongues danced with each other's it felt like electricity flowing through us. I wrapped my hands around to his shoulder blades. I moved my lips down his jaw line and to his neck; in search of his sweet spot. He growled sexily in my ear and that's when I knew I found the spot. I giggled as I nibbled and sucked lightly at it. "Baby." He said breathlessly as I sucked a little on the sweet spot. "Baby, we need to stop before I..." I kissed up his jaw line once again. "Before I..." just then I felt a bump in- between my legs. I giggled. Luke looked down at his pants then back up to my face. "Do you think this is funny? How am I supposed to take care of this?" I looked down in between my legs. My eyes bulged a little. Umm...That's big, someday I'm supposed to...? I thought and shook my head. Focus.
"What do you need to do to take care of it?" I asked a little more seductively than attempted.
"I need some alone time in the shower." He said quietly as if he was embarrassed. I ran my hands through his hair as I looked into his eyes.
"Don't be embarrassed that I can do these things to you." I said as I swiveled my hips a little to tease him.
"No babe, don't do that." He pleaded.
"Alright, let's go I said as I wiggled out from under him. I heard him wince. "Oh, I'm sorry baby." I said as I sat up and he did too. I rubbed his cheek with the pad of my thumb.
"No, no rubbing or touching right now, I feel like I'm going to just burst." He said then realized what he said and blushed uncontrollably. I burst out laughing.
"Come on let's go inside quick and let you take that shower."
"I don't think it's going to be so quick anymore." He said as he began walking inside, or more waddled. I walked in front of him. "Baby, do you really have to move your ass like that right now?" He asked as I stepped up the steps.
"I am literally just walking normally."
"Yeah, well right now anything will set me off." He said as he motioned to his 'bump'. I laughed and swiveled my hips and bent over.
"Oh darn. Sorry." I said teasing him.
"I swear to God this is going to be a long ass fucking shower." He said as he continued walking up the steps, thankfully my step mom and her kids were gone doing errands.
"Go in the Bathroom and I'll go get your sweat pants and sweat shirt that you gave me." I pointed to the bathroom as I walked past it.
"Ok." He said as he waddled to the bathroom.
"Hey babe?"
"What?"
"One day I'll be in the shower with you." I teased as he looked down at me.
"If you keep it up it'll be today." He said playfully grinding his teeth.
"I love you." I singsonged. He smacked my ass before walking in the bathroom.
I walked down stairs into my bedroom and searched for his clothes. I found them in my closet and made my way up the steps. It had only been like three minutes and I think Luke was going to be a little longer so I sat on the couch and played on my IPod for about 20 more minutes then Luke stepped out in a towel wrapped around his waist. "Why didn't you change?" Oh shit. I looked down at my clothes. I totally forgot.
"I forgot." I laughed. "Besides its ok if I change right here right?" I pretended to start taking off my shirt.
"I'll be back in the shower." Luke said as he watched me.
"I was kidding." I said a little shocked. Luke shrugged.
"Babe can I borrow one of your brothers boxer shorts?" He asked as I handed him the clothes and he realized that there was no underwear. I nodded and started walking back down the steps. I went into Simon's old room and grabbed one of his boxers he left here. I walked back up the steps and held it out in my hand but retracted it before Luke could grab it.
"You can have it, IF, you kiss me right now." I said blushing because he only had a towel wrapped around his waist.
"You are so hormonal today!" Luke said shocked as he pulled me towards him and kissed my lips.
"You like me better this way." I teased and pressed my forehead against his.
"Not when I can't take you to bed with me." He said and grabbed my bum. "In the future though." He said casually and took the boxers out of my hand and walked into the bathroom. He is planning on marrying me. Wow. I didn't expect that. I walked down stairs into my room. I left the door open a crack not expecting anyone to walk in.
I began to wiggle out of my wet jeans and underwear. I slipped on my lacey pink and grey underwear but didn't bother putting on pants yet because I wanted to give my legs a little time to dry off before putting on some pants. I slipped off my sweatshirt and I was left in my cameo and sports bra and let me tell you. I was cold. I quickly took off my cameo and sports bra and found a real bra and another clean, dry cameo. Just then I heard the door rub against the carpet. I peaked around the corner to see Luke standing there.
"Hey...umm I didn't know where to put these." He said looking at the clothes never taking a second to look up at me. "Do you have like a-"He looked up at me. "Shit, I'm sorry." I walked out from around the corner.
"Its fine I was just looking for pants." I said as I pulled all my hair to one side.
"Well, in that case. I really like your underwear. Its very, Lacey" he said as I watched him look at my behind.
"And I'm the hormonal one today." I said bending over to pick up my other pair of jeans in a pile of folded laundry on the floor.
"It's not my fault you're walking around in lacey underwear and you're just letting me watch." He said motioning to my ass. "You have a cute little butt you know that?" He laughed as I slid on my jeans. "May what the hell is that?" He asked as he looked straight at my arm. Shit. I forgot! He walked over to me and grabbed my arm so that he could see it. I hissed as pain seemed through the cuts. "When did you do this?" I bowed my head a little in shame.
"Last night." I mumbled but he still heard me.
"Babe why did you do this?" He asked me a little softer as I felt his fingers glide across the cuts. I felt sadness rush over me. I'm supposed to explain to him that sometimes my depression comes and goes, it's called situational depression. "Babe." Luke said as he lifted my chin with his fingers.
"I have situational depression. Last night my depression got worse because I got paranoid and then I got called fat and just figured that the person was right so I just wanted to take away the pain and stress a little.
"You do that by cutting? I haven't seen cuts on your arms before." He said as I could tell he was thinking about it.
"Just scars, I haven't cut since I've been with you." I said as I looked straight into his eyes. His eyes filled with sadness, love, and worry all at the same time. "I'm sorry, I should have just called you, and I should have stopped. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I said as I felt tears prick my eyes. Luke pulled me into his body.
"It's ok. We're ok. We'll make it through this." I sniffled into his chest. "What would make you super happy right now? Something that would take your worries away for a temporary time." He asked me as he held me out shoulder length from him. I bit my lip as he looked at me. Well I'm just saying but when we were making out it kept my mind off a lot of things. I thought as I felt a smile rise to my face and my cheeks burned red. Luke looked at me confused. I raised my eyebrows at him and smiled. I brought my arms up to wrap around his neck. "Wait, wait. Can we wait for this until we get back to my house? I can shower there however many times I want." I laughed and kissed him on the lips.
"Guess what." I said to him.
"What?" He asked actually confused.
"I Love you." I replied.
"I love you more." He said cheesily. I laughed at the way he said it. He kissed me then rubbed his stubble on my face, for some reason it always tickles me.
"No stop." I laughed as I tried pushing his face away. Luke stopped. I grabbed my sweatshirt quickly and walked up the steps behind Luke. He grabbed my hand as we made our way to the truck. I spoke up. "I have an idea." I mentioned as Luke got into the other side of the truck.
"What's that?" He asked as he buckled up.
"Let's go to the dock."
"What dock?"
"You should let me drive." I said.
"Do you even have your license?" He asked with a weird face.
"I'm not even sixteen."
"But, this is my baby." He motioned towards the truck. I folded my arms like I was mad.
"I thought I was your baby and this would make me really happy." I said as I gave him the puppy eyes.
"Fine but I'm sitting right next to you." I nodded. He unbuckled and hopped out of the truck as I slid over into the driver's seat. I scooted the seat forward because he was much taller than me. Then, I buckled up as Luke slid into the truck. He slid super close to me which made me nervous. I started the truck and put it in reverse. I purposely whipped out of the driveway to make Luke nervous.
"Jeez, you're going to wreck my truck!!" He practically yelled as I put the car in drive.
"I am actually a pretty good driver."
"Well take it easy." I nodded and drove into town.
I pulled into the parking lot that was for the historical park. "What are we doing here?" Luke asked as I unbuckled. I didn't answer him as I met him in the front of the truck and grabbed his hand. I started leading him over to a little path that I found back when I used to live in town. "May." He said as we walked along the path.
"Just wait." I said as we reached the dock. It was sort of hidden, but that's what I like most about it. I turned and walked onto the dock, still holding Luke's hand.
"Whoa, what is this place?" He seemed confused.
"I found this dock a while back, it was my safe place." I said as I sat down and let my feet hang off the edge a little.
"So you used to come here a lot?" He asked me sitting down next to me. He grabbed my hand as we sat there.
"Yeah, one night my dad made me so angry I just hopped on my bike and sat here for hours until my sister came down here. She was the only one that knew about this place." I thought back to that night.
-Flashback-
"May is that you?" My father's voice rang throughout the house as I just walked in the house, getting back from my day out with Janelle.
"Yeah dad what's up?" I replied as I closed the door behind me.
"Come here a sec." He said as I took off my shoes.
"Coming." I was confused in that moment; I didn't know what he wanted to talk to me about. I walked into his room.
"Hey so I wanted to talk to you about something." HE said and I knew it was something serious so I took a seat on his bed. "Well, I'm planning to take a family trip to six flags, however, I was thinking, if you gain any more weight you're not going to fit in the rides." He said trying to be careful.
"You're kidding me right?" I asked in shock. I have seen way bigger people try to fit in those rides.
"Well yeah I-"
"Yeah well fuck off." I said as I stormed out of the room and down the hall. I slipped on my shoes and I walked outside. I opened the garage door and pulled out the bike and hopped on. I made my way down to my safe place where I sat for hours.
-End of Flashback-
I leaned my head on Luke's shoulder and just breathed in the whole place, I loved how everything sparkled and how the water flowed. I liked watching the men on boats usually with their children. It reminded me of a happier time, when worrying wasn't an option. Luke and I just sat silent not saying anything just watching the water ruffle as the boats passed by.
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A/N
I know it's a filler but right now I'm trying to transition so next chapter should be about Christmas with the families. May has to meet all of Luke's family! OH BOY! This chapter is five pages though so I don't want to hear complains.
Love ya
Jas