Don't Say His Name

Chapter 5

'NE DIS PAS SON NOM!'.

I feel the lipstick in my hand slip and hear it hit the ground, I can't stop staring at the words on the mirror.

'I think it's French?'.

"Ne dis pas" I whisper.

'Do not say'.

"Son nom" I whisper.

'His name'.

"Don't say his name" I whisper.

I look at the writing and it is no where near mine, it's beautiful and so neat but it's in French and I've never been taught French so how did I translate it?

'Ameliana'.

It can't be, this isn't real somethings wrong with me, there has to be something! My mine is screaming. There's just too much I can't handle it!

"AH!" I place both of my hands on each side of my head, tears streaming down my eyes, the pain unbearable, I drop to the floor "Stop just please stop!" I sob out, I hunch over as a searing pain stabs my heart, I put my hand on my chest, my head no longer screaming.

My heart is burning, like its on fire, I look at my chest and see blood on my top now realising that I'm bleeding, I quickly rip my top off and see an open wound from my chest like I've been literally stabbed in the heart, I press the fabric hard against it to slow down the bleeding.

My eyes widen in shock, I put my hand on the sink and pull myself up.
I see the wound has worsened the blood is pouring, my face pales "Stop it! Stop it!".

I shut my eyes.

I  reluctantly open them.

Confusion clear on my face.

"What happened?".

No blood.

No pain.

I'm ok.

I stare, I stare at myself in the mirror my mind blank, I don't know what to think at the moment, I'm just blank.

I walk out of the bathroom and go to my room, I get in bed and I just stare at the ceiling trying to process what just happened.

I fall asleep.

I wake up, staring at the ceiling I look to my bedside table and pick up my phone to look at the time.

12:42pm

I groan and once again stare at the ceiling, I don't even want to think about yesterday's event, it's too much to think about. Something clicked in my head my mum didn't wake me up.

She always wakes me up before half ten I have no clue why to be honest when I ask her she just says 'It's the beginning of a new day and no one should miss the start of it' or something like that I'm not sure.

I pull the covers off me and jump out of bed, speed walking to check where my mum is, I go to her bedroom door and knock twice there was no reply, I crack the door open and see the bed is made.

'She must be downstairs'.

I go to the staircase and make my way down, it's so quiet, every morning my mum either makes a tea or coffee watches the news then fills me in on what stupid stuff is going on in the world unless we're up at the same time then I watch it with her.

On the last step I hop off and walk to the living room, maybe she put it on low volume? The TV isn't on, I go to the kitchen, she isn't there but I see a piece of paper on the counter, I walk to check out the paper and realise it's a little note.

Morning sweetpea! Hope you slept well I'm sorry I'm not home I had to go to pick up a few things but I'll be back soon! Love you xxxx

I smile at the message "I love you too mum" I go to the kettle and turn it on, I am in desperate need of a cuppa, I'm not really a fan of coffee but I love the smell though! The kettle goes off, I get my cup and this is how you make a tea.

Teabag first, sugar second, water third then finally the milk, I stir the tea take the teabag out and put it in the bin, I pick up my tea then make my way to the living room, I place my tea on the coaster and plop on the sofa.

Picking up the remote that's on the sofa I look through the channels and decide to pick the news since there's nothing interesting on, I pick up my tea whilst looking at the TV to blow it to cool it down, as I'm about to take a sip I look down and see there's blood and maggots in there.

I scream and throw the cup which smashes at the impact of the wall, I don't see any blood or maggots just tea.

'What's happening?'.

I look down and rub my temples with my index fingers and sigh, none of this makes sense.

'The library, the strange incident in my room, the nightmare, last night and now this!'.

My mum hates swearing but you know what.

'I've had enough of this fucking shit'.

I slowly look back up staring at the wall where I threw the cup and my jaw clenches along with my fists, I feel my nails digging into my palms.

Suddenly I'm filled with anger, I'm tired of being a scared little baby who always cries for her mummy when she's scared it's pathetic!

I'm fed up of being this golden child who can do nothing wrong and being "nice" I'm actually glad my mum allowed me to go to secondary school.

I've seen fights, bully's picking on the "losers" not all of them were, well I was one, I had no friends I was a loner no one bothered with me only the teachers who only liked me because I always did my homework on time, completed assignments, doing extra work etc.

All of it was a waste of time, they said I can go far in life, well look at me now! I work in a fucking library because I'm too scared to work with loads of people since I'm a stupid introvert! I hate myself! I'm weak!

I'm an easy target for the dark to mess with, it's put me in the hospital and fucking up my head. I need to be strong, I'm tried of being sweet little Amelia and I'm tired of those fucking rules!

I'm nearly 21 and I've never done anything fun with my life, I've never been out late or at a sleep over or getting drunk off my tits and having fun!

And to be honest with you, I don't even belive in God, I did once but then my dad died, apparently everything happens for a reason but there was no reason.

They say the best people die so they can be with God in heaven, well he is one selfish bastard, he took my father away from my mother and I.

We prayed and prayed for him thousands of time but did he listen? No! He never listens. He is a lie.

Say goodbye to sweet little Amelia because It's time for a different Amelia to come out.

(A/N I just don't even know 🤦‍♀️ I'm not going to edit it cause this is all I have like shitty stuff is going on and my motivation is just fucking blah, life can be a real fucker.

This will probably take a while)