I woke up in the cabin of Adoette who found me deliriously stumbling through the cursed forest at the height of my heat and brought me back here. My body was extremely sore and my stomach was painful to touch; I had shifted into my wolf and somehow failed to shift back into my human form.
Adoette was some sort of supernatural being but I didn't know what kind but I trailed her around in my wolf form. Other times I wandered about mourning or went for a run with her horse Alaqua. My favorite time was when she would play the flute and I would howl along with her.
I tried to help her, the best that I could but I was a bit limited because no hands, she was very playful and gave fantastic belly rubs. She also made some of the most amazing barbecue in the world; my whole existence came to a standstill when she stood over the grill.
She helped me through my heat once and made me understand that unless the mate bond I had with my mate was completely severed through death or a new bond, I was bound to go through this gnarly situation for the rest of my life. A really long time since werewolves can live for up to 250 years; this discovery made me feel hopeless, how was i ever going to sever this bond.
Life was very peaceful with her; it felt like I had found home, though my heart was very heavy and I spent a lot of time crying; she knew how to balance me out, when to let me cry and when to call me out, all with very little to no talking at all, as a noisy person myself I was learning a lot about silence.
One day after bringing back the hunt, Adoette looked at me solemnly,
"It's time, you have to go back and face your mountains, your dad needs you" For the first time in six months, I shifted back to my skin instantly and it felt very weird, she sighed when she saw me shift and said "remember I am always here if you need anything"
I wanted to speak, to say thank you but I couldn't say anything I just hugged her trying to convey all the gratitude that filled my heart before shifting again and leaving. I ran through the forest for about two hours then another hour till I reached the official boundary of the pack border.
Shockingly I could still connect back onto the pack mind link so I searched the wave length for my dad and began to hum my favorite lullaby, he joined in and we hummed together: 'I am back, dad, I'm home' I linked him.
When the patrollers saw me, they must have contacted the alpha because shortly after he came to talk to me. After being handed some clothes, I shifted behind a tree and dressed up so that we could speak.
Time had no healed any wounds or even dulled the pain, I stood there and eyed him while my soul doubled over in pain, I wanted to turn back and run for the hills.
"Ah Leena, what do you need?"He seemed.....excited, I guess his relationship with Loane is really going well and I looked like hell so all his fears about me not being "Luna material" were confirmed.
I pushed my bleeding heart away and tired to remain composed and stoic for my dad, "Good day, Alpha Reid" I replied calmly in a crackling voice, "I wish to speak to you about my banishment" my voice sounded dead.
"You do understand that you committed a serious crime and the punishment cannot be taken lightly", his eyes were hard as he looked over me, I knew I looked pathetic.
"I understand" I said lowly trying not to strain my painful voice box, " I went about things the wrong way at the time and I am sorry, I hope that you can reconsider and rescind the banishment, my father's health has continued deteriorating, please allow me to come home and help my mother take care of him."
"Is that all?" he questioned pointedly
"I accept your decision concerning our bond," I muttered silently, "I will respect the appropriate boundaries concerning you and your chosen" I definitely didn't want to accept but I felt defeated; I knew that I had already lost him before I even met him, I just needed to focus on my dad now.
"I will think about it and give you my decision in a few hours" he said hastily before tearing off his clothes and shifting, his huge wolf stood before me for a few seconds then turned and ran off.
I stayed at the boundary for two hours having an internal panic attack; if I had the strength I would have been pacing, trembling, shaking, hyperventilating and rocking back and forth but I was just too tired and broken to do that so I sat calmly as waves of anxiety shook my insides. (i recently had to relearn what anxiety and panic attacks feel and look like)
Either I had changed or the air about the pack had changed but everything felt distorted I did not feel comfortable here anymore; it did not feel like home anymore. Also the two guards that had stayed with me kept looking at me sadly, eyes filled with pity, it made me feel so embarrassed how I had utterly debased myself before leaving.
I remember them voting for my rejection and then for my banishment, shockingly I did not hate them but I did not feel like one of them anymore, things were not going to go back to the way they were before this incident.
When the alpha came and gave me a positive reply then walked me to my house as the whole pack watched with eyes full of pity, so much pity I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, this is what a real "walk of shame" feels like, I knew then that I was truly an outsider now, I cursed my house for being so far.
Once inside the house, I immediately ran under the shower to engage in my new favorite pastime: a long ugly cry under the hot water also the perfect time to condition and detangle my matted 4C hair which was not doing well from months of neglect.
This place made losing my mate, my friends, my home and my family all too real and I knew it would be impossible to have anything but a basic acquaintance relationship with those I once shared everything with.
Greyson
My wolf lurched inside me suddenly which had not happened since I had banished my mate; I instantly knew that this had to do with her, my wolf only ever woke up if it had to with my mate. There was a knock on the door and a panicked pack member announced,
"She's back" he said out of breath
I raced down to the border ignoring Loane's voice to come back, when I got there, I was so glad to see her, I wanted to run and hug her but I managed to hold myself back before I lost everything I had put on the line. Loane had added a new spell to our agreement, I need to be patient.
She had lost a lot of weight and wouldn't meet my eyes during our talk but what surprised me the most was that I actually managed to shift something I had failed to do since she had left. At that point I finally felt it; my resolve crumbling, becoming king suddenly felt worthless.
FIN
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