Strangers, Again

The End of the World Is Near

"If we had five more minutes..."

— The End of the World Is Near by Billie Eilish (Cover)
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Y/N's POV

There she was. Standing before me as her eyes remained fixated against my own. A smile slowly formed on her delicate lips, a sense of relief washed over her body. What was once timid, afraid that she might trip without someone to break her fall, her shoulders deflated. I took comfort knowing, for a moment, she's okay. And I know, in the deepest part of my soul as I stood here, looking at her, that this is the right choice.

It took her a moment to let me in. Maybe because she was surprised to find me here, not expecting my sudden show of appearance. I didn't either. But, here I am, inside of her living room, fidgeting with my fingers, waiting for her to return her gaze. It felt like forever, but when she did, I mimicked her movement as she comfortably took a seat on the couch.

Neither one of us said anything. Not at first at least. It seems as though we were both waiting on each other to make the first move. It wasn't because I didn't know what to say or because I'm afraid to speak my heart. It was merely because I noticed her tired, glossed over pair of eyes, and it made me feel guilty. It was obvious that she has spent some time crying her feelings away, probably more than she wanted.

"I didn't expect to see you here." Florence spoke softly.

"Me too."

There was a fleeting moment of silence, "I take that you walked here? I didn't see your car outside."

"I did." I chuckled lightly. "I had to. And it turns out, walking helps you think. I needed it because I've been doing a lot of thinking."

"What have you been thinking about?"

"I've been thinking about how much I've changed." I started out slow and careful. "How broken I was three years ago. I mean, I used to be someone who clung so tightly to a plan, and then life threw me all of these crazy curve balls. Then, you came. You showed me that there is more to life than surviving. You healed what was once so broken. And suddenly, it wasn't so hard anymore. I never thought I'd get through it. I mean, after that, I had to learn to let go of all the pain and listen to my heart."

"What's it telling you?"

"This whole time, I've been trying to imagine a life with you. I mean, how couldn't I? You made me feel things that I didn't think I was capable of feeling after everything." I looked at her with all of me as tears began to escape my eyes. "But, every time I did, I felt guilty about Lizzie. And then, I suddenly realized, it's not guilt. It's love. I thought I could push it all away, but the truth is, I'm still in love with Lizzie and that's not going to change.

There was a moment of silence between us. No words were spoken, but the silent tears that both of us are trying to hold back. It doesn't take a second look to notice how hard the situation we found ourselves upon, and no matter how bad we want to leave unscathed, we knew that we wanted something impossible.

"Florence, what you and I had was..." I pushed my tears back, but despite not being able to say what I wanted to say, she knew in her heart what I meant.

"It was." Florence said. "But, I guess our moment has passed."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She slid her hands beside my face, her thumb caressing my cheek. "This experience, our relationship, I want you to know that I don't regret anything. I just want you to be happy."