It's Always Have and Never Hold

30. Make or Break?

June 14th 2000

Jennifer looked out the plane window dreadfully. Not because of her fear in flying, but her fear in going back home for the first time in a week. It didn't even feel like it was a week, it felt much longer. She couldn't believe what she had done to David just a few days ago. It broke her heart completely, god knows how he must feel right now. That's what she dreaded the most, how much she had hurt him and the fact that she will find out when arriving at the house. The plane was stopping on the runway after her long flight, allowing just a small amount of fear to settle. It was early in the morning, which she isn't too happy with as she's had no sleep, needs to see David and go to work for an hour tonight. She found out he refused to come in given what happened back in Italy, but she has to show face to others and explain herself.

The time has finally come, she's just outside the front door when she hears a bark from inside. The house doesn't seem to have any light brightening any rooms, so he's either still sleeping or not in... or maybe just because it's daytime. She pushed her key into the lock, twirling it around then pulling it out, opening the door up. The second she smelt his scent she felt a rush of tears glaze her eyes, falling down her cheeks. Norman came bounding over and she pulled her case in, closing the door behind her.

"Hey handsome," she bent down, resting their heads together as she rubbed the side of him. "I missed you..." she sniffled, kissing the top of his head before getting back up.

The house seemed too quiet for David to be in, so it gave herself time to prepare what to say to him. Quickly she made her way upstairs, placing her case on the bed and opening it up. There wasn't much as Courteney took her other case on her flight a few days back, giving her less to travel with. Jennifer opened her closet, prepared to pack her stuff away, but she was left with nothing. Her closer was empty. She ran over to each drawer, or storage place for her clothes, and nothing. No jewellery, hair stuff, clothes, not even her tooth brush. She went downstairs to investigate more, all her magazines, books, things she left lying around were gone. Then she checked for David's stuff, everything was there, not one thing being out of place for him. She already came to the conclusion of what happened after the first opening of her closet, he's moved her out. Which is a big statement. Just like the one made in Italy, which was probably worse although.

He didn't want to try, he wanted her gone.

...

David arrived home an hour after Jennifer, but he has been sat in his car for ten minutes. He's still trying to find it within himself not to cry, which will be even harder when he sees her. His head was rested on the steering wheel as he sighed loudly.

Jennifer looked out the window, finally watching him step out of the car, gathering his phone, groceries bag and a big bone in hand for Norman. She smiled very softly as she noticed the bone, looking down at the dog before walking over to the couch, taking a seat. She heard the door open, footsteps echo from the silence, he was approaching her. When David entered the living room, he ignored her completely, giving Norman his bone before walking into the kitchen.

"David?" She barely whispered, hoping he would stop to talk, but he continued to ignore her.

As he unloaded the groceries, Jennifer joined him in the kitchen, standing in front of him.

"Please talk-"

"What are you doing here, Jennifer?" He asked coldly, placing another item in the fridge.

"I- well... this is my house."

He scoffed. "Ha... it's, it's not anymore. You... you have to find somewhere else."

"Oh David-"

"No. You have to. You can't live here..." he began and she frowned her eyebrows at him, knowing he's right but she didn't like it at all. "What? Jen, honestly... you knew the outcome when you did what you did, what were you expecting?" He asked, baffled, still putting things away. "Man, I can't believe you. I have no idea why Courteney didn't tell you." He shook his head, walking into the living room, Jennifer following after. "And plus, why would you even want to be here? It's pointless after you made your feelings pretty clear to... well, everyone."

"Will you just sit down and have a damn conversation with me! A real one where you are being yourself!" She yelled with frustration, tears falling down her cheeks already. She knew that everything she done was wrong, but even at that, David didn't speak like this to people. "Sit down!"

"Fine." He said calmly, taking a seat on the couch, she sat beside him, not close. "Well?" He gestured for her to talk.

"Well... you have to know how sorry I am. And I'm not saying that just because I should, but because I am. David, I was scared. I couldn't handle the pressure of marriage. It's too scary! And you, you deserve someone who wants marriage, which I thought I did. I dunno... maybe I still do..." she trailed off with a few shrugs.

"Maybe it's being married to me." He suggested, making Jennifer want to rip her hair right out.

"No! It's not that David!"

"Then what is it, Jennifer?" He nearly yelled, snapping at her now. "I'm sick of you saying you're scared. If you love me enough, fear wouldn't even come close to your decision. You wanted to marry me at one point! We waited years after the engagement, I gave you time to think everything through so it was perfect for you! Because I only planned on having one wedding, not a planned and failed one. You left me with the excuse that you were scared! I was fucking scared! Terrified! But I loved you so much that it didn't matter, because I would be with you for the rest of my life!" He paused for a moment. "So, what?! Or who made you want to not marry me? Someone say something to you? Better yet, is there someone else?"

"OF COURSE NOT! There's nobody else, David!"

"So why don't you want to marry me?"

"I do!"

"You CLEARLY don't! You left me! You left me in that fucking hotel room wondering why my car didn't arrive... oh, because you had made a getaway! You didn't even explain yourself which just shows how much you care about me!" Tears now let free from David's eyes, rolling down his cheeks. "I'm done."

"No!" She sobbed, trying to grab his hand but he pulled away and stood up. "David, no! I- I can't live without you. You promised! You... promised!" She spoke softer this time, sniffling as she stood up with him.

"I'm exhausted, Jennifer. You are an exhausting woman. I don't have anymore time to waste in this life with you, when this is what I get after five years."

"I'm not ending this! You are not ending this. David, I know, I fucked up. I did and I can only keep apologising to you over and over again. I'd take you to go and get married in front of a judge right now! But, we- we aren't finished. I'm spending the rest of my life with you, not five years! I'm meant to be with you, David, forever!"

"No, you're not." He fought, walking over to the door and opening it. "Go."

"David..." she whispered, standing right beside him, he took her arm and guided her out, making sure not to hurt her. "Please, please don't." She begged, now crying more than she ever has. "You can't do this, DAVID!" She screamed as he shut the door on her, locking it before she got back in. Jennifer made a fist, pounding on the door, shouting for David to open it, but he never did. She gave up after a few minutes, walking to her car and getting in, driving to Matt's house for the night.

David went straight over to the couch, dropping down and burying his face in his hands. The tears began gathering at the bottom of his hands in a small pool, he could barely hold himself together now. He just couldn't believe that Jennifer called off the wedding, she called it off just as people made their way to the church and he could not believe it when he got told that she had got in a car and traveled to another hotel. She didn't want to be close, that way she didn't have to see the pain in David's face. He could've sworn it was all a joke and that Courteney was just playing a prank on him, but she wasn't. It was real, realer than he hoped.