It's Always Have and Never Hold

39. Nausea

The next day Jennifer woke up early to prepare herself for today, taking a long shower, drying her hair and doing light makeup. She then got changed into a pair of black leggings and an oversized crewneck sweater that was mint coloured. She put on a pair of socks and comfortable sneakers before making a smoothie to go, grabbing her handbag and leaving. The women decided to go out for lunch together, which is still a few hours away. For now she's going to Courteney's house to talk to her about everything.

"Hey babe!" Courteney greeted Jennifer at the door, letting her inside and they went straight to the kitchen. She made herself an omelet earlier so she finished it off as Jennifer told her everything.

"... then he spoke to Mili and she wants to move past it, but also wants to talk to me today. I'm just in a head toss right now."

"Wow! I mean... when you said you needed to talk, I had no idea you were going to tell me... all... that!"

"What should I say to her?"

"Just tell her how you feel and the truth completely. Okay?"

"Yeah. It's just... it's going to be hard. And I was already sick this morning out of nerves... I just hope I don't throw up all over her lunch."

"That and sleeping with her fiancé? You'll definitely comeback beat up."

"I know, right." Jennifer slightly laughed.  "I'm an awful person."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am. I'm... I made the most decent guy in the world cheat."

"Takes two to tango."

"Still." She sighed. "Okay, I need to go."

...

Jennifer arrived at lunch first, waiting patiently for fifteen minutes before Mili finally arrived. It was a small cafe, so nobody would see them together which gave them privacy to talk everything out.

"Hey..." Jennifer smiled a little, getting a nod from Mili. "Are you hungry?"

"Meh... not really in the mood to eat."

"Me either. Hi, excuse me..."

The waiter came over and took their orders, which was just two coffees and what they wanted in them.

Then there was a period of total silence between them, which made things ten times more awkward. They shuffled around on their seats, and looked anywhere but each other. They both knew things would be awkward but they at least hoped they would talk.

"Well this is weird."

"Right?" Mili chuckled. "Look... I just have to say... I don't blame you at all. I mean, you guys were in love and were together for years. You were even going to get married! You were planning a future together, one where you had a house, a dog, a future marriage and probably children. I respect that you had a past together... I just couldn't believe it when he told me. I understood that you had a history but I had no idea that your history was so strong that you had feelings still-"

"Mili I assumed I didn't feel anything for him anymore. We had barely spoke and were both in relationships. I don't even know how it happened and I promise you when I say this-"

"Well don't. Because it did mean something. David wouldn't have cheated on anyone unless it was with someone who had the history like you two. So it definitely meant something... but that's okay. And not to rub it in, but he did choose me.. so that's another reason I feel okay about it, because he cheated and still knows where he belongs..."

Mili's words began becoming quieter to Jennifer as she then began hearing a buzzing noise. Her head felt dizzy and her body felt like it was going to fall to the floor without anything to hold her up.

"I think I'm going..." she jumped up quickly, running straight to the restaurant bathroom and into one of the cubicles. She threw herself in without locking the door, her head going straight for the toilet as she began throwing up. She grabbed as much of her hair as she could, but struggled as she was very concentrated on being sick. A few seconds later she felt someone take grasp of all of her hair, pulling it back and out the way while they rubbed her back up and down. 

"Oh god, are you okay?" Mili asked as she continued rubbing her back.

Once Jennifer was done, she sat back and down on the floor, leaning against the cubicle wall and sighing.

"That's twice today and I thought I felt better once we got to talking."

"Wait... you were sick already?"

"Yeah... and yesterday actually... I guess that was because I knew David was talking to you. I'm just so uneasy lately."

"Do you not see what I'm seeing?"

"No?" Jennifer looked at Mili, confused as to what she was getting at. "I've just been a little nervous, it's nothing... unless there's a sickness bug going around-"

"Jennifer... think long and hard about it... okay? Wait! When you and David... when you slept together... did you use a... a condom?"

"I-"