𝙆𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙃𝙚𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙜 - 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵

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[ any reader ]

You wear an inviting smile for the lords making their way into the chapel, each nodding their head in response before taking their seats. As the assistant to probably the moodiest of them all, it is your job to make sure things run smoothly, which is why you take pride in nudging the back of his shoulder to earn his attention.

"Karl." You whisper, looking elsewhere in case you warrant any perplexed looks. "Karl. Put it away."

"I'm using my gift."

"I can see that, believe me I am elated that you like it, but now is not the time to be using it. Put it away, please."

He grumbles and slots the phone into his pocket, slouching against the hard wood of the pew. When his boredom creeps back in it encourages his yellow eyes to peer at you over the tops of his glasses, watching you closely as you wave to Moreau.

"Might I say," your head tilts to view him, "you are looking awfully peng today. Did you do something new with your hair?"

"Karl," you hide your face behind your hands. He continues to stare. "That's not... That's not how it works."

"Did I say it incorrectly?"

"No. No, no you didn't say it incorrectly it just...it sounds wrong when you say it. It's a youth thing, you know? Those kind of words are for teenagers, not...not you."

"You look fit?"

"Okay." You clasp your hands together and bow your head, doing your best to ignore his flurry of odd compliments

"Sex on legs?"

"Please stop."

"Nice batty."

You gasp, mouth struggling to close when you catch him eyeing you up and down with a smirk. "Karl Heisenberg."

"I'll admit I'm still a little rusty on that one. Still not entirely sure what that one means." He almost chuckles but Miranda entering the chapel has everyone falling under a sheet of silence. Your jaw ascends and your lips press firmly together.

"Thank you for gathering on such short notice, I understand you are all busy and have your own issues to take care of. But I am afraid we have a new problem that must be dealt with before it escalates. A human. Ethan Winters. I have deemed him a threat, and fortunately for you, my children, I have entrusted you to deal with him."

"Oh yay, lucky us." Karl mumbles with a lack of enthusiasm. You discreetly nudge his shoulder when Miranda spares you both a brief glance.

"Thank you, Mother," Alcina nods. "I can assure you he will be dealt with swiftly. This Ethan Winters shall not survive for very long if he steps into my home." She wears a smirk beaming with pride, her daughters snickering under their breath.

"That's cap." Karl blurts, earning all of the attention.

"Excuse me?" His sister squints.

"I said that's cap. Are you deaf as well as freakishly large?"

"Is he speaking English?"

"Moron." Angie folds her arms.

"Moving on," Miranda frowns at the smug man, "Winters should be making an appearance soon, he is on his way as we speak. Be ready, my children. This plan has to work perfectly. No mistakes."

"Bare annoying." Karl slumps even lower in his seat and you nudge the back of his head this time. "Stop feeling me up would you?"

"Quit being an ass." You warn faintly.

"Heisenberg, your human behaves better than you. I need your undivided attention. Be warned that if this doesn't work it'll be you who suffers the consequences."

"Yes, Mother. Anything for you, Mother."

Miranda narrows her eyes at the sarcastic tone. "You are dismissed. I will be checking in with all of you again soon." She informs prior to her image breaking into crows. Not even a second passes and by the time your eyes drop you find the phone is back in Karl's hands again.

"What is that thing you have there?" Alcina places a hand on her hip.

"A phone. You really know nothing, such a boomer."

Your hand covers your mouth. "Ignore him." You feign a smile for the vampire, subtly squeezing his shoulder. He winces like a little girl, glaring up at you with betrayal hidden behind his eyes.

"Gladly." Alcina purses her lips. "Come, daughters, we have work to do. A new foreigner for you to entertain."

"How can a phone be so...small?" Moreau marvels at the technology.

"I can get one for you if you'd like." You smile warmly and his eyes light up.

"Oh, thank you! I'd appreciate that."

"Outta the way ugly." Angie races past to clambers up onto the pew. "Oooh!" She climbs over Karl's arm and makes herself comfortable in his lap, eagerly watching him scroll through pictures and comments. "Can I have one too? Oh, pretty please!"

"Only if Donna says it's okay."

Karl suddenly barks a laugh at a video, shaking his head. "[Y/n]. [Y/n] look at this. Idiot."

"I think it's time we left, don't you?"

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