𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗧𝘄𝗼 | 𝗖𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗲 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗽 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 | When Kay gets an emergency call from her mother, Brian takes her back to her hometown of Harmony, where she has to deal with old family drama and her ex-boyfriend, Mario, who just won't let her...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
A part of me was thankful my mother hadn't let me take all of my clothes when I moved to the city. She said half had to stay, just in case.
It just so happened one of those cases arrived. After being wet by the rain, I needed to change. And my old comfy joggers and baggy sweater did the trick. Paired with a hot cup of tea, I was warm to sit out on the porch and watch the rain.
The 'rain' excuse was what I told my mother, so we could sit outside on the porch bench. Really, my eyes were glued to the road, waiting for Brian to come back to me.
"Drink your tea, nena," my mother said as she wrapped a blanket tight around her shoulders. The red mug in her hand lifted towards her lips. "Tea will make this better."
I never understood the math between tea and tragic moments, but it seemed to be a universal thought. The calming aromas of freshly made tea could make you forget, and put you at ease. It was why Mr. Paul always had his kettle on deck.
I should have smiled, but I couldn't. I stared down at my mug as I moved the tea bag to one side.
"Mom," I glanced at my mother, "with everything that's happened tonight, can't you just tell me now why we're here? Jun gets to talk to pa. So, what about you?"
My mother pressed her lips together and blew at the top of her mug. The tea was too hot, steam swirled up towards your nose. She looked at me, blinking. "Will you tell me how far along you are?"
She didn't answer my question. I figured if I answered hers, then maybe we could get the conversation going.
Looking down at my belly, I bit my lip. "Almost three months."
"Oh, muñeca, no wonder, and you're so small." My mother smiled as she laughed. "You're just as small as I was when I was pregnant with your brother."
I glanced at her. She never talked about either of her pregnancies. We just knew they'd happened, obviously because we existed. Seeing the joy on her face made me smile, too. "What about with me?" Curiosity took over. "How were you with me?"
"Nena," my mother leaned closer and tapped my arm, "sometimes baby weight stays."
Oh. Well. I had to laugh at what my mother said. Leave it to her to be honest. We needed a little truth tonight. With a smile still on my face, I sipped my tea.
"Nena—"
My mother's voice drew me back in. With my cup against my lips, I looked at her. And saw the shimmer fade from her eyes.
"—would you have ever told me and your father?"
A little bit of tea slipped out from my mouth, and back into the cup. I frowned as it returned my tea to my lap. "Eventually," since we're being honest tonight, "you know I'm an awful liar, so I would've said something sooner or later. I just..."
"I know, Kadijah." My mother sighed as she scooted closer. With one hand, she moved the blanket keeping her warm around me, too. I grabbed the end as it looped around my shoulder. I pulled it to keep it tight. Looking over at her, I saw the regret and sadness on her face.
"You know we haven't seen Julian, either?" she said. "Bridges burn. I was afraid the bridge your father and I had with Jun was far from repair."
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "Never see him once?" I asked. "What about pictures?"
"Well, your father has Facebook and he sees the photos. But you know Jun," she waved her hand in the air, "he can hold grudges forever."
It wasn't funny, per se, but I laughed because it was true. Jun wasn't the one to easily forgive; at least, he wasn't the one to easily forgive just anyone. There needed to be a reason behind that type of kindness—that was what he always told me.
But as I thought about it, I had to frown. Because up until tonight, until seeing the looks on my parents' faces when they realized how wrong they'd been for so long, I saw just how stupid that type of grudge was. I ignored my parents and sent their calls to voicemail. I know years of mental anguish couldn't have been erased with cute text messages and small talk, but it could've been a start. Baby steps.
It was evident tonight as we sat on the porch. There was a heavy ball in my stomach, filled with regret. I ran away to free myself, to escape, but never once gave my parents the chance to understand because I believed they wouldn't care.
As I looked into my mother's eyes, I knew that was all she ever wanted to do.
"I'm sorry, mom," I said quietly.
"No, no, we're the ones who need to apologize," she said, nodding as she sipped her tea. "Both to you and your brother. We spent too long trying to protect you in this little bubble, but it only hurt you; both of you. We were wrong." Gently, she patted my thigh. "That's why I needed you to come back."
"Why?" My mug squeaked under my fingertips as I turned it in my hand. "Why are we here, mom?"
As thunder roared in the sky, lightning flashed in the distance. My mother's gaze drifted over towards that light, the brightness shimmering in her brown eyes. Her lip twitched up into a small smile, but she didn't say anything.
I needed her to say something. My heart was hammering in my chest. Anxiety was real.
"Mom," I touched her hand, "why did you need me and Jun to come back home?"
She let out the biggest sigh before finishing her cup of tea. Kneeling over the side of the bench, she placed the empty mug on the porch beside her feet before looking at me. The same weak smile was on her face.
"Mi vida, I have cancer," she pointed at the side of her head, "right in here. The doctors' just found it so they're hopeful, but sometimes, you know, I forget things. I lose track of time, where I am, it can be hard."
The heaviness in my chest, my hammering heart—everything imploded. It was hard to breathe but I tried to suck in deep breaths to keep calm. I needed to keep calm for her; she was always strong for me. But the tears were burning in my eyes, I felt them. I just didn't want them to fall.
"Ma..." The pizzas because their dinner had burned, had she forgotten she was cooking them? Or when she looked at me, asked me a question, then forgot moments later what she'd said... was this it? "You..."
She cupped my hands with both of hers. "I wanted you and your brother here while I could still remember."
There were the tears. They fell and took what was left of my mascara with them. "Mom..."
One of her hands moved to my face to wipe away my tears. "I needed the chance to have good memories of you and your brother, just in case, you know. I need something to hold on to."
"Mom, don't." I squeezed my eyes shut, and pushed out more tears as I cried. "Don't talk like this, please."
"It's okay, nena." My mother shushed me. "We just need to let go of the past, the pain and move forward with new, bright thoughts, better moments. This way all of this will be easy," her voice broke, trembling, "and we can be happy."
"Ma." I quickly placed the mug on the floor beside me and then threw my arms around my mother. When her arms came around me, I let my tears fall. And so did she.
