A dance with love and death.

Hanging on for dear life...

I think I told you a part of me died that day. But before starting this whole deal about death again, let me tell you how I got there... 

Khish left me under that tree and run away.

He betrayed me. He left me there to die. A slow and painful death. Khish, to be fair, I didn't know him for too long but I trusted him. Perhaps it was one of these situations where I should have been paying attention. Not that it was my fault or anything, although, he had his red flags even from the beginning. 

Betrayal. Alida and Bargas warned me about it. Alida used her mouth to describe to me some of her past experiences in that matter while Bargas showed it to me through his actions. 

What drives someone in such extreme places that would make them do such a thing? Maybe that was it. Betrayal doesn't come from someone who has reached extreme measures but from someone that has always stayed on the ground, with so many insecurities hoping that they would transfer some of it to anybody who has even an ounce of kindness inside of them. 

Greed, ambition, lust, and passion. These are some of the feelings that tend to make a person believe they are in a higher place than those around them. 

You could argue that in this case, Khish was only a dog who took advantage of me so he could supersede above me and all the kingdom animal survival rules. Food, a place to stay for hibernation, and a partner to raise some babies together that's some of the basic needs an animal like me has.

But no, do not mistake animals as something lower than people just because they cannot stand up for themselves. I cannot physically speak to you and tell you what I'm feeling but I can still express my hopes and desires through other activities. Just because I'm not heard in a way humans can understand does not mean I do not make sounds. I speak, but you are not ready to hear. 

And with Khish, his behavior mirrored exactly up to the point that of a human's. His deliberately hurtful behavior to those who need him just so he can feel superior, his carelessness, and other similar things are all part of his weaknesses. 

I'm not saying that I pity him, because I don't. If I ever get to meet him again, if there's ever going to be the last time, I'm going to kill him myself. 

That is of course if Khish's attempts to murder me fail. Something that is up to this point, a debatable subject.   

"You have to help those who you can and avoid hurting those who ask for your help but you cannot do it. Being kind to someone just because you want to, not because you have to or need to, that action alone, will bring together more lives than fake alliances or money could ever do. You are kind. And compassionate. Compassion is a very rare characteristic and you are one of the rare beings who possess it. You are who you are and no one can take that away from you. I just hope that they don't mistake your kindness as a way of getting what they want".

"What do you mean?" I remember saying to her. 

"You can name everything you want. Even the most simple thing. It just has to be something different, something that will bring inevitable change to those who sit around comfortably in the chaos. Have you got that?".

"Yes. I have". 

She looked down. "Good. And as I've said, anything that inspires change or makes a situation better. Anything that makes a difference. Anything that is seen. Do you have a good idea of what will happen then?".

I thought I knew then, but I did; 't. I wish I remembered what she taught me. 

"What will happen?" I asked her.