72. The Worst Part

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-Troy-

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-Troy-


I should've told Stephanie not to come. I should've told her to stay at home. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been when I let her come. I'd completely forgotten there were people who knew I was in a gay relationship, and it only needed one little slip and my dad would find out. One word, and everything would be ruined.

And there was more. If Stephanie told my dad about Gwen, he wouldn't let me go to their house anymore. He wouldn't even let me go near Luke anymore. That fucking homophobic, transphobic, multiphobic asshole! I was really surprised he wasn't racist as well, because he was pretty much everything else!

I couldn't believe I didn't think this through. Stephanie would tell my dad. There was no doubt about that. The way she looked at Gwen was enough to convince me about that. I just wanted to run away. The second I finally met someone who seemed to care about me, someone had to ruin it for me.

Everything was ruined now. The game, my weekend, my Thanksgiving, my life. Ruined, ruined, ruined, ruined!

My mood was dropping fast before the game. I didn't say a word to anyone. The rest of the team thought I was just nervous and left me alone, but Max and Luke were giving me concerned looks. I just couldn't deal with things right now. We had a game. The game. The game we were so nervous about that morning, but now I couldn't give a damn. Ruined.

I tried to listen to our coach giving his speech, but what was the point? It was just a stupid game. It wouldn't change anything in my life if we won or lost. Once this game was over, Stephanie would've already called my dad, and he would force me to come home. I had waited for this weekend... Just the two of us. Luke had promised to take me to the arcade again... We were supposed to watch movies and play games and make out until things got a bit out of hand...

Ruined.

I felt a warm, gentle touch on my arm. I was standing next to Luke, and he had shifted his weight so conveniently his arm touched mine. I didn't move away, fearing this was the last time I'd ever get to be so close to him again. I knew I was being slightly too overdramatic, but it wasn't far-fetched. It didn't take much to become a reality, and I was scared. I wanted to talk to Luke, tell him how I felt so he could tell me I had nothing to worry about, that he would take care of me, but we didn't have time for that. I just... had to believe he would do exactly that if we had the chance to talk. I had to believe those would be his exact words, or I would start to panic.

I was fine. Everything would be all right.

I repeated those words over and over again inside my head until I believed in them. I had never experienced a panic attack, but I assumed I was really close to having one. Now was not the time for that.

I just had to believe everything would be all right.


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