The Life We Had | Gay BxB |

59. Where Wanted

I pulled my hands away when I saw a car approaching us.

"Sorry..." I muttered and turned my back on him. I really hated hiding, but I wasn't ready to take the risk of my dad finding out about us.

"It's fine," Luke said quietly. "Come, we should get back home."

I looked at him shortly and nodded. There was something I wanted to do.

*****

Luke's parents were asleep. The house was quiet and the only source of light we had was a small lamp on a nightstand. Luke was lying on his back, looking up at me when I swung my leg over his waist, sitting down on his lap. He had only shorts on since I had stolen his shirt, and he had a curious look in his eyes when I placed my hands on his stomach. I wasn't going to do anything weird. I just wanted to get to know his body.

I had seen him naked before, but I had never before paid any attention to it. Why should I have? Even now, I didn't find his body attractive. It was just a muscular version of mine. I slowly moved my hands up on his chest, and then back down again. He tensed up the second I moved, taking a sharp breath. His entire existence was begging me to do it again. Now that was attractive.

I leaned a little closer before moving my hands again, making my touch a little stronger. I had no idea why it was so alluring to feel his body tensing up underneath me. He was still watching me, and he looked happy. And shy, for some reason. Then I remembered he had never had sex before. It was still a little hard to believe, since he was so popular among the girls, but then again, he was gay. But there had to be more gay guys in our school, drooling over him when no one was watching.

And still, he chose me, no matter how much of an asshole I had been.

I sat back up, trailing my fingers across his skin. I looked down at his body, stroking his stomach gently. His hands moved onto my knees, resting there for a bit before he found the courage to move them on my thighs. We stayed there for quite some time, just enjoying each other's company and touch. That was attractive. It was nice to feel wanted.

"So, seen any good movies lately?" Luke suddenly asked, and I burst out laughing.

"Mood-killer," I chuckled.

"I'm just trying to save us from any awkward moments," he shrugged.

"I thought we were already used to having awkward moments," I said, continuing to caress his skin.

"Maybe," he said.

I waited for a moment to see if he would continue speaking, but he didn't. I turned to look at the spare bed on the other side of the room. "We should probably go to sleep."

Luke pushed himself up, and I turned my attention back to him when he put his hands around me. "You might be right," he said, and hugged me.

I hugged him back, and all of a sudden, I didn't want to sleep alone. Tomorrow, I would have to go back home, where my existence didn't matter to anyone. Where I was nothing more but an inconvenience. I wasn't sure which was worse, to be hated, or to have no value whatsoever. To my father, I was just a part of the house, like a painting that happened to move around on its own. I would have to go back to that.

Then there was this guy, who was holding me so gently. The guy who smiled just because I looked at him. I didn't want to leave. I didn't even want to leave his bed.

"Troy?"

I hugged him tighter, hiding my face against his bare shoulder. I just needed a couple of seconds, just a moment longer, to soak in the fact I was wanted, that there still were people who cared about me. Sometimes it was hard to remember that.