Aboulomania [Skephalo]

Chapter 34

Darryl's POV

"Turn on the light."

"Bad," Skeppy whispered so quietly I almost couldn't hear him.

"I know."

The light flashed on and I shut my eyes. I tried opening them and getting used to the light.

"Yeah?" He asked, still clueless or too scared to face the facts.

Too scared to accept that I like boys. That I like Skeppy.

I slowly took the blanket and revealed Skeppy's head curled against my chest. Clearly seen as cuddling and not that the bed was too small or that I couldn't make a second bed.

Skeppy looked at me with fear in his eyes but didn't dare move. I patted his back gently, showing that we should sit up.

He sat up slowly and so did I. I tried not to pay attention to his cute bedhead but to the fact my brother just found out.

He caught us.

I know Skeppy was trying to hide the fear in his eyes but he was failing miserably. I think my brother saw so he tried to speak.

"I... So..." Was all he could say. I patted the spot next to me. He sat down, Kole on one side and Skeppy on the other. Skeppy tried matching my body so Kole wouldn't see him but some of his face was visible.

Kole looked at him again and was filled with sympathy, he couldn't look at Skeppy while saying whatever he was going to say.

I knew he was my brother but I braced myself for whatever he would say.

"Darryl..."

Deep breath in. Hold.

"Is this what you've been hiding?"

Hold.

"Is this why you've been so distant?"

Hold.

"Is this why we don't talk anymore?"

Hold...

"Is this why we aren't close anymore?.."

Break.

I started crying, quiet tears rolled down my face uncontrollably. I was so scared, I AM so scared. I don't want to be yelled at or judged for someone I like, maybe even love. I don't want to hear the lectures and threats, I already know them all. I hear them everywhere, to me, my friends, strangers. I want to be who I am. I NEED to be who I am.

I hate being distant with you. I really do. But I was and am so scared that you'll take away the people I care about because it's wrong in your eyes. I don't want it to be this way, It's been affecting me for so long and I didn't know what to do.

I just need you to love me for me...

He hugged me. He just... hugged me.

He hugged me tightly and for ages he did, he didn't let go.

"I was... scared!" I choked out.

"I was so scared." My voice cracked.

I started rambling, saying all the things I felt and all the things I was thinking of before.

But when I finished, he said one thing that just absolutely broke me. It shattered everything I said and thought. It put it to waste, completely useless like it didn't matter.

"I still love you..."

I sobbed my heart out, I clutched onto my brother for dear life, crying into his chest as he held onto me.