I was an addict but I never thought I would get addicted to you, but as soon as our eyes meet I was stuck, blinded by your beauty.
I knew life would end with you.
Trigger warnings
Drug-, alcohol abuse, overdose, suic!de, self harm, body image
اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.
Chapter 9 ~
I was finally myself. I barely saw what was I front of my eyes as I drifted through the corridors. This was me. For three days times had disappeared and I hadn't seen her. I had kept myself locked in and filled myself with the only happiness I could reach.
The corridor was filled with people that I floated past and chatters filled my ears. But I saw her so clear. The girl that had turned to me and was no looking directly at me from the end of the corridor. So I turned and disappeared in the crowd.
She had tried reaching me that timed, had speed up her walked and pushed people away to get to me but she had never found me. She had also tried contacting me via text messages that had never reached me. I stopped picking up my phone.
In a selfish way I was protecting myself, I couldn't get hurt if I hadn't anyone. But in the end I was still sitting on the dirty hallway floor digging my nails into my skin to stop the tears from falling. What if it never ended?
But again the next minutes I was pushing past people to get to my class. My eyes went over the room and I didn't see her so I sat down. The teacher started the lesson and felt the worry let go the door opened again and she came in. She quickly walked to her seat and she never saw me. I breathed out relived.
As the lesson went on my body became restless and my ears screamed every time he spoke. I got up from my seat and immediately got my teacher's attention as I started walking out.
"Samantha!" He called loudly so my name reached everybody and I closed my eyes as I felt my breath get stuck in my throat.
I could feel her eyes on me.
I kept walking and than I speed up once the door closed but her voice called my name. But if I gave up this soon my time without her was worthless so ignored it.
"Sam, what the fuck," she grabbed my arm and turns me around. "You're r high," l looked away.
"Talk to me damn it," with both of her hand she held me, preventing me from disappearing again.
"I can't," my voice broke as I meet her eyes with my tear filled ones. "I can't," I repeated as I broke away and continued walking away from her. For a minute it worked but she caught up to me and blocked my way.
"Tell me what the fuck your are doing," I was hurting her.
"I can't Billie,"
"What is it that you can't?" She said with a voice filled with desperation.
"Be around you," her facial expression shifted. We fell silent until she took my hands in hers.
"Let's try together, can you do that?" Her voice was quiet and her eyes glossy. I kissed her.
"Let's try together," I repeated. She nodded as her face light up in a smile and I copied her. " I don't want to go back to class,"
"Hell nah, let's just skip,"
She kept me close, not letting go of me as we walked out. We spent a few hours away, driving around and eating. Anything but talking about us. Somehow she made it all feel fixed. It felt good to pretend for a while. When we made it back to school we held hand until we had to walk to different classes.
"Bil, what's up," we stood by Billie lockers as she was collecting her things. The two twins walked up to us.
"Yo," Billie said as she greeted them with a handshake.
"Here she is, the infamous Sam that Billie won't stop talking about," one of the twins said and Billie punched him the air and pointed a finger at him.
She has talked about me.
"Shut the fuck up," Billie said to him.
"Fuck do you even know these bozos names" Billie asked and I shook my head and laughed.
"Jake" Billie pointed to the guy with a little freckle on his nose than at the one with shorter hair. "Blake" nothing else made them different.
"Let hang out tonight Billie it's been some time," Jake said but billie shook her head. "Come on,"
"Nah, can't sorry," she said as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.
"Fuck do you want to Sam?" Blake asked but billie answered before me.
"She can't either sorry, y'all can get fucked without us," I stared at Billie trying to figure her thoughts out only by her expression.
Neither of us was really upfront with emotions and in moments I regretted that.
"Why," I said and Billie only looked at me as the twins looked at Billie.
The silence broke when Jake and Blake exchanged short sentences and left us with a quick 'bye see y'all around'.
"Let's go home," Billie said and when she saw my panic that had painted my face she grabbed my hand. "To mine,"
