baby | lrh

chapter 36

Penelope Rhodes

-March 30-

The past month has been one for the books. It was full of nights out and reconciliations as well as preparations for the baby. And despite all that is going on right now, Hay and Ash have decided that they were going to embark on a prank war that has seriously made all of us question their judgement.

At first, it was nothing- a minor prank here or there like switching the salt and the sugar or hiding behind the door and jumping out to scare one another, but it has progressively gotten worse. Yesterday, Hayden decided that she was going to wax off part of his leg hair because the day before that, he pepper sprayed the toilet. Thank God Hayden didn't fall for that one; Mikey took the fall on that. The day before that, Hayden saran wrapped the toilet and one can only start to imagine how that one turned out. Either way, it's kept everyone on their toes and now we know to check the toilet seat sooner rather than later... especially Luke.

Their relationship has gone smoothly, seeing as it was all new and fun but I wish that I could say the same for Malum. Cal has been really depressed lately since the tour ended and Mikey can't do anything to get him to open up. I have tried and tried to talk to him myself but I haven't gotten more than two words out of him since they got home. He normally rolls out of bed, eats, sits on the couch, and goes back to his bed where he tries relentlessly to sleep but never can; even Cooper doesn't make him happy anymore.

On the flip side, Luke and I are making progress. Our relationship may have been rocky in the past but I think- and hope- that we are finally past that because in little time we were about to become aunt and uncles and we all had to mature to a certain extent. And by all, I do mean me too. I started going back to my therapist regularly and I am currently 30 days sober. She thinks that my drinking was a side effect of something deeper that was later revealed to be Luk,e but now she says that if the relationship is going well and I don't have the urge to drink anymore, I shouldn't have an addiction problem with alcohol in the future.

"Penelope?!" I heard a voice call. I jumped from my thoughts long enough to realize that the fearful voice came from Michael. "P, please hurry! It's Calum!"

I sprinted to the door to find them both a mess. Michael, obviously distraught, was carrying a sweaty, bawling Calum.

"Hey... hey hey hey Cal.. Cal shhh... shhh.. It's going to be okay. Here, Mike, let me take him to my room. I promise that I will do my best to figure out what the hell is going on..." I promised.

Calum put most of his weight on me as we walked to my room and before I could ask him what was wrong, he was hyperventilating again.

"Cal... Calum... Calum Thomas Hood, listen to me. You need to take deep breaths. Look, Cal, I know what you are going through and I know that there is nothing that someone can say to make you feel better right now but I need you to breathe. I know it feels like your entire chest is caving in and the fresh air burns going down but I need you to push that out, okay? Mind over matter, Calum Hood. You can do this... just breathe in...... and out... see it's okay. In.... and out...."

His breathing finally slowed and he came out of his daze.

"Penelope..." he croaked. I could see the pain in his eyes and it hurt me knowing that he was in so much pain. "... it hurts so much..."

"What hurts Cal? C'mon you can tell me. What's hurting you so much?"

"Everything! If it's not Ashton having problems, it's Luke. And if it's not Luke, which it usually is, I'm worried sick about you mostly and this thing with Michael is scaring the hell out of me because I love him so much dammit. I love him more than I ever intended to and now I can't stand the thought of losing him and that terrifies me. You know what else terrifies me? For once, we all have happiness right in front of us and for some reason I am still finding ways in my head that it can get fucked up and it just hurts. I've been killing myself, breaking my back for everyone else and once the tour was over it finally dawned on me that I finally had time to worry about myself. Everyone had the chance to be happy so I don't have anything else better to do with all my spare time than think about my problems and I don't want to think about my problems because that? That hurts like a bitch."

"Oh Cal... I'm so sorry that you feel this way. I'm sorry you've been carrying around everyone else's crap for God knows how long but now you don't have to! See, Hayden and Ash are happy... Luke and I are happy... Now all you need is to let yourself be happy. Nothing is going to change until you let yourself fall asleep and learn to be happy again. I'm so sorry for all of the distress I've probably caused you, I know I take you for granted sometimes. I know this can't be easy on you and I don't expect anything to change overnight but Cally, you need to do something because now it's our chance to be worried about you and believe me, we are all worried sick. We all love you, Cal... now it's time you learn to love yourself again."

"I just love all of you so much... I want you all to be happy" He cried.

"We know, Cal because we love you too. Since the moment I met you in music appreciation, I knew you would be someone that meant the world to me... so I need you to believe that. You mean the world to us, Calum."

He nodded his head and for the first time in weeks, I saw him close his eyes and actually drift to sleep. His deep brown eyes were finally rested and I saw all the weight lift from his face, leaving him looking like a young boy without a care in the world.

I decided to stay with him for a little while longer, being sure that he was asleep and my moving wouldn't disturb his first deep sleep since the tour.

When I knew it was clear to move, I shuffled out of my room and out to the living room as quiet as a mouse, shutting the door softly behind me.

"Hey, Baby..." Luke said lazily as I wrapped myself in his tired arms. He breathed in my scent and I felt his whole body relax. I know how stressed he's been lately with everything going on and I'm glad that I can help him relax, even if it's in the slightest.

"Hi" I yawned as I picked my head off of his chest to give him a kiss. I checked the time to see that it was just past 2 am and snuggled deeper into Luke.

We turned on the TV and settled with re-runs of my favorite show: Grey's Anatomy. It's funny that in a few years that will be me. While all the Luke drama was happening way back when, I decided that I was changing my major. I know it sounds terrible and it's super late in the game but I went from Nursing to Biology- they have the same prerequisites so I only had a few other classes to take before I started the more focused "major defined" classes. I decided that my true calling wasn't to be a nurse but actually a doctor.

"Luke... one day... you'll give me all of this right?" I asked him quietly.

"Of course I will, Penelope. I know that I haven't always been the most dependable guy in your life but from now on, you can count on me. I will always be there for you. One day, I'll make you my wife and father our children and make our very own house a home. A home with a family." He promised, kissing my head.

"Hey, Lu... just one more thing..." I started.

"Hmm?" He asked.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you too, Baby." He replied but I barely heard the words before I was asleep in his arms.

a/n: i love penelope and calum's friendship. i imagine them being the crackhead friends that would try to do that "together forever, we're linda and heather. best friends" tik tok trend lol and cuddly puke has my heart always