baby | lrh

chapter 35

Penelope Rhodes

It felt like a movie- slow motion and very dramatic. The sounds of those screaming after me were tuned out by the constant sound of the pounding in my ears. My adrenaline was pumping and I didn't even realize I was crying my eyes out until I ran my hand across my face to wipe off sweat which happened to be my tears.

Before I made it to the gate where I planned to run for the hills and never look back, someone grabbed my arm and turned me around to face them. I couldn't handle this.

I looked up to find myself lost in a sea of blue. His hands were tightly holding my arms, restricting me from running away from him and he seemed to be crying himself. His dull blue eyes looked broken.

"Penelope..." He breathed out, his voice cracking.

I struggled to catch my breath.

"You have to know how sorry I am, baby. I know I've screwed up- boy have I royally screwed up. And I know that I don't deserve you, but I need you. I can't promise you that I won't fuck something up again. I can't promise you that it's going to be easy. And I know I can't promise you that this will be worth your while but please, if you still love me, please give me another chance. I know that I have given you no reason to believe me but I can promise you that I will spend every day of forever trying to make this up to you, if you let me. I can promise you that I will love you everyday, even if you don't let me. Because, no matter what, I will always love you.

Scratch every terrible and god-awful comment I've said to you. You are not incapable of loving or being loved. You are the kindest, purest human being I have ever laid eyes on and anyone would be lucky to have you. Your heart is the size of the sun and your smile is contagious. Any man would be lucky to love you and to be loved by you. I know because I have felt both. And any man would be out of his mind stupid to give that love up. I know because I've done it. I am probably the worst thing that has ever happened to you but you were the best thing that's ever happened to me. You are a ray of sunshine in my cloudy sky. You are my everything and I am so sorry that it took me this long to see it and I'm sorry it took me this long to say it and I'm sorry that it took me this long to apologize to you, but I love you. Ashton had said to me that I needed to get my head out of my ass and once I could see clearly through the shit and was ready to get my life back on track, to call him. I needed that kick to make me see that I was spiraling down a staircase that I did not want to go down again.

I just want you to know that I love you, Penelope Mae. I want you to know how sorry I am and that I know that I do not in any way, shape, or form deserve your forgiveness but I'm begging you to just give me a chance in the mean time to make it up to you. Everything with Arzaylea, the relationship and her pregnancy were all fake. She lied to me about the baby being fake and she's been pretending all of this time to drive you further out of my life. All this has taught me is that when things went south with her and I, I unintentionally and unknowingly found you. You are the light that's helped me guide my life and I know that I have taken you for granted, but when it gets hard, I run to you for support. You don't need to make any decisions right now, I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for all that I have screwed up over the past 8 months and how much I love you." He cried to me. I could see the genuinity of his words by the look in his eyes. He was desperate- begging- A look I only know because I had given it to him before, begging him to love me back.

When all I did was stare at him in response, he started to walk away after his monologue but I knew that I had to think fast. I know that I don't deserve to be treated this way and I know that I shouldn't but I need him. I need him and I love him. And I'm a fool for still doing so.

Once I made up my mind about what I decided, I ran... again. I twisted his broad frame around and ran into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and giving him the most passionate we've ever shared. He kissed back instantly. It was so natural that it was as if we were two parts of a puzzle finally being put together.

"I love you too, Luke." I cried as I hugged him and he kissed me again, spinning me around in his arms.

"This doesn't mean you're 100% forgiven yet, though because I have some self- respect. But I can see that you have finally seen it too and you are ready to accept the consequences. I love you so much, Luke. Despite what you've done, despite everything that has happened, despite the very real possibility that something will go wrong again- I will always love you. We didn't plan a life together just for the fun of it. We planned out a life together because we knew this was real. And Luke, I'm not going to say that you haven't hurt me because you have- more than I should've handled- but what hurt me most, was the fact that I've been apart from you. I need you to breathe and to function. I'm not Penelope without my Luke. And I'm not ready to go back to living in a world where I wasn't myself." I told him, honestly.

We kissed once more before we walked back to the arena, hand in hand, awaiting all of the smiling faces, screaming fans, and elated friends so they could finish their show and I could cheer on the love of my life. 

a/n: all is right in the world at this moment in time. bless. and like going through the editing process of this story has reminded me how much i love it hehe