Rejection [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Twenty-One

Olivia and Bernie got home well after midnight, and after Elliot had hesitantly went to bed.

"Are you feeling better now?" Bernie asked, as she helped Olivia into the house.

"I think so. I'm still incredibly nervous about everything, but now I have something else on my side... I guess."

"If you'd like, you and Miles can start joining us on Sundays."

"Bernie, can I ask you something?" Olivia whispered as she sank down onto the edge of the couch.

"Anything, sweetie." Bernie smiled.

"If anything happens to me... can you help Elliot with the kids? Miles just loves you and Joseph, and since I'm no longer in contact with my parents... he'll need all the help he can get." 

"Do you think something is going to happen to you?" 

"I hope that nothing happens, but I was hit by a car. Stuff like that doesn't happen every day. I just want to make sure Elliot is good if I die randomly and he's left with the kids."

"You aren't going anywhere, but if something happens, I promise to help Elliot with anything he needs."

///

Elliot woke up to find his fiancee and son snuggled together beside him. He couldn't help but smile, because it had been so long since he had seen this.

"How long have you been awake?" Olivia yawned as she gently ran her fingers through Miles' blonde curls.

"Not long... I wish you would have slept longer so I could have watched you for more than a few minutes." Elliot smiled tiredly.

"Don't worry, I'm supposed to sleep a lot so you'll have plenty of chances to watch me sleep." Olivia replied. She pulled her son a little closer before kissing his forehead gently.

"Are you feeling better compared to last night?" Elliot asked, and Olivia shrugged a bit.

"I feel a bit more at ease, but still like I'm going to throw up every second of the day."

"Mom says it should fade out by the twelve week mark, but our kid might be a pain in the ass." Elliot teased softly. Olivia forced a smile, before looking up at her fiance.

"Can we get married soon? Start making real plans in regards to our life together? Especially since I don't think your parents want us living here once there are two kids to think about."

"Did something happen?"

"No, El. I just don't want to overstay our welcome, especially since we need your parents more now than ever before. We can't rely on my family."

"Why don't you focus on getting better and growing our baby, and I'll focus and worry about everything else? Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." Olivia whispered.

///

Bernie and Joseph kept telling Olivia and Elliot that they can stay there until they were ready to move out, so that was one less thing for Olivia to worry about. For the next month, Olivia focused solely on recovering. 

"How'd your appointment go?" Bernie asked, since Elliot was at home with Miles, who had a cold.

"It went well." Olivia replied softly, as she walked over and grabbed her jacket with Bernie.

"Just good?" Bernie questioned, and Olivia turned to look at her before pulling a small shiny picture from her pocket.

"They did an ultrasound today, and I didn't know ahead of time. But this is my baby." Olivia spoke as she passed the sonogram to Bernie.

"Oh, look at that baby! Already adorable, even if it looks like an alien." Bernie chuckled.

"My doctor said my pregnancy is viable now. She thinks nothing will happen, so Elliot and I need to plan for this baby." Olivia replied. Bernie looked at Olivia and realized that she didn't seem too excited.

"C'mon, honey. We are going to go and get lunch."

"I'm not really-"

"You are growing a human, Livvie. You need lots of calories and I'd love to spend more time with you."

///

Bernie took Olivia out to a bistro not far from the doctor's office. Once they sat down and ordered, Bernie gave Olivia a gentle smile before starting to speak.

"So, are you excited about the baby?" Bernie asked, and Olivia gave her a silent nod in response.

"Olivia, are you okay? Because you didn't seem excited at all about seeing the baby."

"I'm fine." Olivia lied.

"No, you aren't. I have known you for a while, honey, and this isn't fine. You seem scared-"

"I made a plan when I was younger... I wanted to become a teacher, get married, and then at thirty, I wanted to start having kids. Then Elliot and I reconnected, and it was like I never had that plan to start. We started raising Miles, then we started to have sex, and now I'm twelve weeks pregnant and still recovering from a horrible accident. I'm overwhelmed and anxious about walking on a sidewalk now, and I don't even want to take my kid to the park because I'm scared it will happen again. So no, I'm not really excited right now because I'm too scared that this won't last. That I will wake up one day and expect to feel my baby moving around in my belly... to only find out it didn't make it. That suddenly he wasn't viable..." Olivia trailed off as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Bernie felt her heart break for the girl that has become another daughter to her and Joseph.

"This little one made it through the hardest month of your life, Olivia. I know that you are scared, but I have a feeling that I will be a grandmother again before any of us know it."

"I closed my eyes and plugged my ears during the ultrasound... I didn't want to see the baby on the screen and get attached to it." Olivia whispered.

"Do you love the baby?" Bernie asked softly.

"I-i do... I haven't wanted to admit it out loud."

"Get attached to that baby, because it isn't going anywhere. Soon we can get the family crib from Carol, since she hasn't had to pass it on to anyone since Jessica was born, and then we can buy clothes and more diapers that you think you'll never go through." Bernie grinned.

"Thanks, Bernie... I guess I should tell Elliot about this too. Especially since this is our baby."

"He will sit and listen to everything you have to say. He will be so ready to support you, love."

"I know, and that is why I love him so freaking much."