Chapter 11 • Sick

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I didn't want to try to sit up. I had a feeling it'd make me feel worse. Instead, I continued to sit hunched over on the arm of the couch. I shut my eyes, hoping that would help.

"Sugar, we need to get you to the bathroom. You're seriously pale," Dria pointed out.

I could only nod. I was afraid if I open my mouth, I'd actually puke. She stood up and pulled Lynch away, speaking quietly to him so I wouldn't overhear. When they returned, Lynch was the one who stood closer to me. I didn't have time to mull over why he was so close because his hand was reaching across my back and his other arm was hooking under my knees.

He kept me in my curled position as he lifted me. I raised my head and looked between him and Dria. When I looked at her, she smiled a wicked grin and led Lynch back to her bathroom. He didn't say anything as he carried me. There was no point in fighting him either.

I was sick and had virtually no strength left while he was perfectly fine. I couldn't argue either because I was scared I would puke if I opened my mouth. I hate relying on people. I feel pathetic if I do.

Dria opened the bathroom door for Lynch and he carried me in, setting me down next to the toilet. The moment my body stretched, my stomach contracted and I leaned over the bowl to empty the contents of my stomach. I continued puking until it was only stomach acid. Someone had my hair pulled back but I couldn't focus on that.

I slumped back against the wall and pulled my legs up to my chest. My head bumped the tile as I leaned back. My headache was now at full force. I didn't want to listen to anyone or say anything.

"Ryder? Sweetie, are you ok?" Alexandria's voice pierced my head and made me wince.

I sluggishly shrugged my shoulders, "I'm ok."

I cracked an eye open to see her purse her lips, "You just puked your guts out. You're not ok."

She took a second to think, "You've been overworking yourself again, haven't you?"

I shrugged again. I wasn't actually sure if I was. I worked all week like normal with a few extra hours. I guess that's overworking. I don't know. Maybe I finally allowed myself to relax and I'm not used to it anymore. That seems more plausible.

"Come on, you need to brush your teeth. Um, Alexandria, it looked like she had a headache eariler but I'm not sure if she has one now," Now Lynch is talking. He sounded worried.

Hands went under my armpits and lifted me up. I stumbled over my feet as I stood but never fell. It seemed that Lynch was making sure of that. I found the counter and propped myself against it, wanting Lynch's hands off of me. I can manage by myself.

When I was finally able to look around with clearer vision, I noticed Dria wasn't in the bathroom with us anymore. Lynch was leaning against the door frame opposite of me. His arms were crossed and he was scowling. I quickly averted my stare to out the door where I could hear cabinets opening and closing.

Using the wall for support, I shuffled out of the bathroom. The revolting taste of stomach acid still coated my tongue but I didn't want to brush my teeth yet. I didn't want anything near my mouth right now which means I'm not taking whatever pills Dria was trying to dig up.

I felt Lynch trailing after me but I didn't say anything to him. The kitchen was a mess when I reached it. She had pulled everything imaginable trying to find this medicine and said junk was now piled on her counter. I fought off the urge to clean her mess and walked over to her.

"Don't worry about it, Dria. I'm fine. I don't think I'd be able to hold them down anyway," she turned to stare at me before sighing her defeat.

She glanced past me to Lynch who was most definitely standing behind me, "Alright, I guess we should go to bed now then. You need rest and it is getting late anyway."

I nodded, feeling horrible that I was ruining her sleepover. Her arm draped over my shoulders and gently guided me out and back to the spare bedroom. Despite my groggy state, I realized that Lynch would have to take the couch if I took the bed. I stopped and Dria bumped into me from behind.

"Lynch, you can take the spare bedroom. It's either that or the couch and you'll probably be cramped on the couch."

When I turned, he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, "I'll be ok on the couch. You need to sleep off whatever's got you sick and I'm not sure how comfortable a couch will be."

I frowned, "I've slept on a couch before. Plus, I'll be closer to the bathroom if needed."

He mulled it over while staring me down, "Fine. You can take the couch."

He sounded angry that he agreed to letting me sleep on the couch. Instead of pointing it out, I just nodded and turned to head back to the living room. I felt like I had more energy. I was moving only slightly faster but it was still better than the turtle pace trudge I was doing a few minutes ago.

"Dria? Could you get me some of your spare blankets and a pillow? Sorry for being a bother," I apologized.

She glared at me before whipping around to walk over to closet, "Woman, sit your cute ass down. You aren't being a bother. You're sick. There's a difference."

I tossed a quick glance to Lynch who was still standing in the hallway. He was looking down at his phone, waiting for Dria to show him to the guest room. Blankets and a pillow were set down on the arm of the couch next to where I was sitting. I whispered a thank you as she disappeared down the hall with Lynch. A few doors opened and closed and then it was silent.

The silence left me to mull over all of the mistakes I made tonight. One: I was forced into close quarters with Lynch several times after Liam told me to go no where near him. Two: while having to be so close to him, I also talked to him which Liam also said not to do. Three: instead of telling Dria to return the clothes, we hid them in her closet.

I fucked up. I really fucked up. I used to be good at keeping secrets but I lost that talent years ago. I can't lie when Liam hems me into a corner until I break. I can't lie when he stares me down until I spill. He... scares me. I get nervous every time I see him. I flinch when he tries to touch me even though he's never hit me. He's patronized and belittled me so much that I have no semblance of self-esteem.

I sucked in a deep breath and leaned forward on my knees, holding my head in my hands. What was I gonna do? How was I gonna keep this from him? I'll try for as long as I can but I can't predict what will happen when I'm caught in my lie. I shuddered, ugly thoughts rolling through my head. All of them ended up with me either hurt or alone.

Instead of drowning in my thoughts, I stood up and began making my makeshift bed. I stretched the blankets out and dropped the pillow at the end of the couch. It was cramped but it will do. I've fallen asleep on this couch before and it's actually pretty comfortable. My head drifted back to when Lynch was talking about sleeping on the couch. If I have to curl up a little to fit, he'd be hanging off the edge. There was no way I was going to force him to do that. He'd be so uncomfortable.

After turning the lights off, I laid down and curled up into a ball under the heavy blankets. It was quiet except for the hum of the cable box that sat under the TV. Little lights blinked to keep the electronics running. My eyes drooped shut before I even had a chance to feel tired.

• • •

Swaying roused me just enough to pull me out of deep sleep. I groaned and rolled over, pushing my face into the pillow, finding sleep easily again.

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