My Bully

17 Rules

Michael's reaction is not understandable. His eyes are tearing but his whole face isn't doing anything.

"What's that?", I ask quietly.

"I am so happy!", he yells and hugs me. "We're having a baby."

I hug him back while we're crying happy tears.

"Can you believe it?", he asks.

"This is the happiest moment of my life.", I say.

"What do you want it to be? I want it to be a girl but if it's a boy I'm so thankful.", he says.

"To be honest I want it to be a boy.", I say and chuckle. "But I'll be also more than happy if it's a girl."

He lifts up my nightgown and looks at my stomach. He kisses it and rubs it gently with his thumb.

"Well, you need to know all the rules for being pregnant!", he says.

I raise an eyebrow and shake my head laughing.

"First, you need to take multivitamins. Especially folic acid, calcium and iron.", he says.

I nod and squint my eyes.

"Second, get lots of sleep.", he says.

"I like that one.", I say and we laugh.

"Third, work out. It'll help you relive insomnia, muscle pain, excessive weight gain and mood problems.", he says.

I nod slowly.

"Fourth, eat seafood.", he says.

"Eww!", I say.

"It's good for you.", he says.

"Next?", I ask and giggle.

"Fifth, have sex.", he says and smirks.

"I love this one.", I say smirking.

"Sixth, practice yoga.", he says.

"That's weird but okay.", I mumble.

"Seventh, get a flu shot.", he says.

"I am fucking trypanophobic and you know that!", I say.

"If you don't get the shot and you get a flu it can harm the baby.", he says.

"Alright.", I say and sigh.

"Eighth, gain weight smartly. I mean eat for two. You don't eat well normally.", he says.

"Whatever.", I say and pull a face.

"Ninth, visit the dentist. Most people say that pregnant ladies can't visit the dentist but it's not true.", he says.

"K.", I mumble.

"Tenth, don't smoke. I know you only smoke rarely but don't do that.", he says.

"I know.", I say.

"Eleventh, don't drink alcohol.", he says.

"I won't. I don't wanna make a crack baby.", I say.

"Twelfth, don't eat raw meat.", he says.

"Thirteenth, I don't eat raw meat.", I say.

"Don't eat deli meat.", he says.

"I can't eat hotdogs anymore!", I moan.

"Fourteenth, don't eat unpasteurized milk products.", he says.

"I don't eat unpasteurized milk products.", I say.

"Fifteenth, don't sit in a hot tub or sauna. It may cause miscarriage.", he says.

I nod slowly.

"Sixteenth, don't drink a lot of caffeine, you Starbucks addict!", he says and we laugh.

"Seventeenth, don't clean Max's litter box.", he says.

"Are you done, bossy dad?", I tease him.

"Yes. I'll stop bossing my ass around.", he says and chuckles. "Now come here!"

I sit on his lap and he lifts my nightgown up again. He kisses my stomach and rubs it gently.

"I love you, Joyce and our little baby.", he says.

"He says I love you too, Daddy.", I say and chuckle.

"I can see you're saying it's a 'he'.", he says and giggles.

I shrug and giggle. I hug him tightly while I'm still sitting on his lap.

"I'm gonna do all my work online these nine months.", he says.

"Why? You shouldn't torture yourself with me.", I say.

"I wanna stay with you.. and the baby.", he says.

"Aww!", I say and hug him tightly.

"It's now 5 am. You need to get good sleep.", he says.

Michael carries me bridal style and puts me on the bed. He covers me and kisses me sweetly. He gets on the other side and lifts my nightgown for the 100th time today. He lays his head on my chest and looks at my bare stomach.

"We can cancel tomorrow's appointment with the family. Maybe your stomach could cramp or something.", he says.

"No. No. But please just don't say.", I say.

"Don't worry. I won't say anything", he says.

"Yeah. Thanks.", I say and sigh.

"Good night, wifey.", he says.

"Good night, baby.", I say and kiss his head.

"Good night, my little baby.", he says and kisses my stomach.

"Mike, can we please keep this between us till a few days pass?", I ask. "I just wanna let it sink in."

"Sure. Now get some sleep. Sweet dreams.", he says.

"Night!", I say and try to fall asleep.