CRUX

New high,old high.

Warning!!!! Dark and triggering words ahead.
Please adhere to skipping to the next chapter if you feel they may have an effect on you.
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What's that I hear?!?

You want to get to the dark stuffs,wanna hear my darkest secrets?

Let's pretend you don't already know them.

I lost my virginity at the age of fifteen to my step-father after returning from a party hosted at a friend's place.

Or rather,he raped me.

I was bullied all through 11th grade before the supposed bully became my boyfriend and we got into a very toxic relationship.

I fell in love with a boy named Peter,felt my life was getting a little better until he suddenly broke up with me in my first year of college.

I fell into depression and resulted to cutting.

Then I recklessly got into a relationship with my development psychology professor.

Only to find out he had a wife.

I fell into another faze of depression,did drugs even.

Became a crack pot,and was found half dead in my apartment one day,due to a severe case of overdose.

My parents got me into rehab.

I was released after a year,and later found out that I had been pregnant for Jean--the professor,but went through a miscarriage due to my nonchalance and overall ignorance.

Justine had the decency to organise a burial for her first grandchild.

There was nothing beneath her grave but a name engraved on the head stone.

Still it was an effort.

I---

"Go on,you can tell me".The tears streamed down my eyes and choked my lungs,I had to swallow a lot of saliva in order to breathe."It's okay dear".

"Yeah".I whined,using a sleeve to wipe down my eyes before I continued.

At the loss of my child,I fell yet again into a dangerous faze of depression,the doctors said it was psychotic with early symptoms of anxiety and....schizophrenia.

I went back to college for the last remaining year and was not at all surprised that the entire school had found out I once dated Jean Germaine.

Only this time,according to the asshole,I was the one who came unto him and I seduced him.I was awarded with a restraining order and a charge for sexual assault.

His idiotic wife backed up the claim,but,luckily,dropped the charges.

I was known as the college slut for the rest of the semester and got into a lot of fights because everyone either wanted to mutilate me or take advantage of the situation.

I stopped taking my meds after graduation,and didn't bother looking for a job,then stayed on lockdown for three months.

Safe to say the one night I decided to leave my apartment.

A lot happened.

**********
I slid down the walls and crashed on my behind,wrapping my arms around my shoulders.I rocked back and forth.

The trail of blood made a bee line towards me,then passed me probably,to the open kitchen.

I watched the knife clatter to the ground,a weapon that was once in my hands,but was now too disgusting to hold.

Covered in clots of blood.

My vision is blurred but I can make out the sight of a figure rushing towards me,hollering,screaming like a freaking banshee.

I wish anyone would make it stop,as my hands pressed themselves to my ears.

Nothing's making sense to me.

But squeezing my eyes shut gives me a bounty of relief,and my breathing is almost normalized but I'm suddenly jerked off the ground to my feet.

I staggered in her hold,my eyes widened as they meet hers,as her lips kept moving way too fast.Bouncing off my ears like the feeling of being pummelled by a club.

I wanted her to stop.....talking.

But she kept on screaming,as fat tears rolled down her eyes and her slim wrists bit down the flesh of my arms.

Its only when I'm in front of the door,that I realised I had pushed her hard,and that she had smashed her head against the hard walls and collapsed.

I didn't know if I felt remorseful.

Though I was happy her screaming had finally stopped.

My Volvo responds to the car keys and eager feet.I waste no time racing off the parking lot,though the old tires seemed to protest.

When I'm finally down from my euphoric high,I looked through the side mirrors.His apartment seemed to have dwindled in my view but I could still make out the windows and the blood smeared over it,and beside the view is the frightened blue eyes of a woman who had killed again.

A/N--Silence.