CRUX

Preamble

Past~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Past

The door eventually opened up,pausing my right fist in mid air,I dared to lift my head up and my blood red hair casts a curtain around my eyes,intentionally I suppose. The last thing I wanted was for him to notice that my droopy eyes didn't result from lack of sleep,or that my shaky legs had lost their ability to stay still.

I hoped he wouldn't ask me to walk into his apartment on my own.

With a lot of effort,I leaned further on the wall and tried to straighten my ankles,with the highest degree of subtlety possible.

Then I looked down at my hands and dwindled my fingers,I noticed the lengthy amount of time it was taking for him to speak,but I dreaded looking into his eyes,scared of what I'll see.

The light feathery touch extended from his fingers as they trailed up and down my chin,it made breathing a bit easier,as I sighed in bliss.Though my brain drummed in protest,probably from the astounding amount of screaming at the yester-night and the shots I took at the bar,Either of the two .I dared to raise my gaze upon his,and as expected,his eyes shot straight through mine with an intensity that took my breath away,every time.

He motioned with his free hand and guided me safely into his warm feely apartment,I immediately latched my eyes on my favourite furniture;the door to his bedroom .A dull taste registered on my tongue,as he guided us in the opposite direction,like he was intentionally stirring me away from it.

I suppose,we weren't thinking the same thing.

But the big moving lump under the sheets says otherwise,it made my stomach twist in pain,I could throw up in any second,but I didn't want him to know that,I didn't want him to find out I had gone drinking again.

The door shuttered close and I can finally ignore the lump under the sheets,I can no longer see his betrayal.

I turn to the view of his office desk,the spacious room holds a melancholic scent,like it interpreted the toils and stress of an hardworking man,and sometimes his tears .He had once told me,that his office was his favourite and worse part of his apartment,for different reasons .I'll like to think,the memories of us both promoted his affinity towards the bland room.But we all know that wasn't true.

Though once upon a time,I believed it was.

I was a fool then.

"What are you doing here?and so late at night?".

I frowned at the question,I truly believed he knew the answer to that,hence why he had let me in without any prior questioning.

Why act clueless now,why not save us the time.

"Jean".I licked my lips and kicked my sole at the plush carpet,I had practiced my answers earlier,the hesitation was just for show."I want to know why you'd prefer to hurt me this way,even when what we had was so.....special,even when you said it yourself that you.....".

I paused,intentionally,all just for show .I wanted him to complete that sentence himself,or choose to deny it.

"Why didn't you just tell me from the onset,why did you lead me on?".

From beneath my bowed head,I could peep out his stance,the way he leaned on the desk and crossed his ankles,his widened palm on the surface of the table,and his free hand placed on his hips.

He had that slim figure that could leave you staring,but I didn't come here to swoon on him,I came for answers.

"You're drunk".

I hated the way he could read me,yet choose to ignore the important details,like the fact that I'm drowning in grief.

"Answer my question Jean?".

Never in a million years would I have imagined what his response would be.

They floated past my hearing like a horrible tune bouncing off a broken piano.

With so much indifference,his words buried me deep beneath.

My skin crawled in disgust for the woman he had made me into;craving and desperate for his validation.

And with hot tears,I threw up all over his carpet.

A/N-Please if you spot out any mistakes,comment on it,I'll really appreciate it.Thanks.

Also I would love to know your thoughts about the story so far,how do you feel 'bout it,any speculated spoilers?