CRUX

Soothe the pain

Before I begin,I would like to clarify that I am the victim in this story,so keep that in mind. Yes I made some very consequential mistakes but you needn't worry about that,I served my time,not literally of course,but you can be rest assured that presently,I am a better person.

I say better,because once upon a time,I was a good girl.

But now,as I stare into the rearview mirror,and my shaky fists grip the steering wheel,I can hardly remember her. My red hair does not emit that glow it used to and my eyes are sunken,though the state of my pale appearance can be defended by a number of reasons .For one,I can't remember the last time I had a proper bath,and for another,I haven't eaten in days.

The sounds of approaching sirens,almost makes me jump off my sit.I scrunch my nose in distaste and bite down my lip ring when I can feel them getting closer. And there's that uneasy feeling,the gut wrenching feeling that bursts a realisation inside of me.

I may have lied at the beginning of all this fuss.

So maybe I hadn't entirely dealt with my sins and suffered ALL the consequences,but I planned to,I really really did.

But the larger percentage of the world is hypocritical,they wouldn't see reasons with me.

They would never understand the intense emotions that catalysed my actions,no matter what I had to say--and I had a lot--i'll always end up with the judgemental fingers pointed at me.

Trust me,I've imagined all the scenarios,and none were in my favour.

Well all except ONE.

I take my eyes away from the rearview,already fed up with the patrol cars tailing me,my last resort stares back at me,getting closer and closer as my blue Volvo approaches.

I weep inside for my blue car,I never imagined it'd end up this way.Most of my aspirations were centered around getting a better car and getting incredibly famous while I gave my car away to charity.

But I guess life doesn't always subscribe to your farfetched dreams.

And the world would have to make do without my creativity.

I hope to reincarnate though.

In an alternate universe where everything goes my way,and just maybe,that time,I wouldn't make the same mistakes.

Blue ivy(that's what I call my Volvo)screeches in protest as we approach the very end of the road,but my feet refuses to let go of the pedal,time pauses for a second as I turn to take a last look at the police cars,my heart beats as time slows down,and I am unable to hear the sounds of honking,sounds of thumping feet,loud voices ringing out of the megaphones.

Too many avatars running around.

I look at the sun as it dims by the second till I am unable to hear my heartbeat,and the car finally floats off the cliff.

I was once a good girl,with a heart of gold,I once loved the hardest,cried the saddest,laughed the loudest.

But no matter the mistakes I made,remember in this story,I am the victim.