CRUX

Take the risk.

When I said I had a heart of gold.

I lied.

But a heart of bronze is a pretty close second.

In my world though,I'm categorised as bad because of the decisions I chose to make,in the midst of more appealing choices .What they fail to understand is that,at a state of euphoria you don't think twice about your actions,you just do.

And I did.

Now I'm termed a name I do not deserve,given a punishment I could live without,and I'm brandished as part of the ugly bunch of society.

It was the only time in my entire life I would be persecuted for my foolishness,though at the time I had believed it was the only atom of common sense left.

Unfortunately,I couldn't get away from all the drama,rather it sucked me back in .I'm walking down the white walled halls to the appraisal of my doom .The future is brighter than ever from here,but it is also false.

All I see are the chains that keep my wrists bound and the awful scrub I have on,as I'm guided steadily to the outside world.I receive stares as we approach the lobby,they probably wonder who I left my clothes with .I should tell them that they are burnt,alongside my Volvo,and that I only managed to escape with a 1st degree burn at distinct parts of my body.

I should be elated about the evidences that got burnt with it,all the pictures and recorded messages,even my phone.Especially my phone.

But I know how the crime department worked,they don't fish around for the obvious,they probably saw my sketchy handiwork.

Truthfully,I'm not so good at being bad.

Not that it's surprising,I am a good girl.

But an even better person,as I'm led into the small vehicle,and sandwiched between two buff men with the law by their side.

What a luxury.

I can remember the surprise on their faces when the paramedics rushed me into the ambulance,they had probably thought I was some old sociopath,or some mission impossible cast.

No,I'm just an ordinary girl,who made some really bad choices,that I'm paying for,or will in a few days.

Justine would never soil her reputation by stepping a foot into the station,and if she doesn't who will,it's not like I have those kind of friends who'd go through the trouble,I can't afford the cliché.

I've spent too much on luck,and even luck has failed me.

I whipped my head up at the tap to my shoulder,the odd smell of death all over the hospital must have drained me dry of strength that I had fallen asleep so quickly,the nurses weren't any nicer,they all treated me like I was the cause for cancer or some rodent infested with diseases.

Several times I urged to defend myself,but every time I did,it was always in my head alone,outwardly I was mute.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?".A tall man in a black suit,the first to approach us as soon as we stepped into the station,asked.

The smirk on his lips failed to convince me he was clueless,I knew he knew,they all knew,but they preferred to toil around the truth.

Like Jean.

I watched him reach for his strapped gun besides his belt,at the same time I was freed of my cuffs.

He smiled when he saw the horror in my eyes,I am not surprised he saw it,I wear my heart on my sleeves.

It's a curse from my mom.

"Scared are you?".He chuckled,then pats my face."Stay that way and you won't have any problems?act smart and you'd be gone before the judge can spell guilty".

They all laugh at his joke,and I bow my head in the shame I brought upon myself.

I was once a good citizen,my boyfriend father,who had been in the army,used to refer to me as his daughter.

But now I'm filth,because I allowed my heart lead,for once.

"You'd be detained till your case is officially brought to court,after that you'd be fully admitted into one of those pretty dorm rooms".They laughed again.

The comic man in the suit finally gets tired of cracking jokes,and he breezes past us to wherever,and I'm led further into the rabbit hole.

As we go deeper,I try to remind myself that I caused all this,I try to take the blame.

Yet my stupid heart fails to believe it,a miniscule part of me still thinks I deserve a second chance .

I mean I have learnt my lesson,so therefore,I should be vindicated.

But the world doesn't work that way,or at least I don't think so.

I'm sure the man in the suit would agree.

A/N-From the next chapters I would be alternating between past and present,to get a better understanding of what's going on.

Sincerely I don't know what goes through the narrator's head,she's a bit sadistic though.