CRUX

Don't think,just jump.

Like a prey under the watchful--pale blue eyes of the predator,I fell for the beauty underneath his agony,he was a sad man with a beautiful smile and a generous heart.

He took my pain away,and was there when I needed him the most.

Feeling neglected wasn't a good feeling,he made sure I never felt that way again,one thing led to another,and at some point I'm having a fancy dinner,in a fancy dress with the guy I met at the gas station and exchanged numbers with.

How time flies.

I should probably inform you that apart from being a good girl,I am quite shy.

It was why I found it hard to hold eye contact,or speak my mind,I had always been enveloped by the coverage of my boyfriend,the one and only,but he was now in the past.

Yet with Jean,I felt open,exposed but fulfilled.

What's stranger,is how I didn't miss my old shell,rather I got addicted,quickly,to the manly and inviting scent of expensive cologne.

Soon enough,Musk and earth became my favourite.

Jean knew me more than I knew myself,sometimes I'd say a word,unable to complete my sentence and he would help me out,and when he did,I'd know I was thinking it all along.

You could say we moved way too fast,but I was desperate remember and he sad and lonely.

We were perfect matches.

We were fine.

We had our first kiss underneath the oak tree on an extremely rainy day.

I couldn't resist his allure,he couldn't refuse my advances.

Time went by and we booked an hotel suite for Christmas eve,I wanted to spend my holiday with him,I wanted to fill the loneliness he felt,while he gave me his touch as compensation.

Jean was a very persistent man,if he wanted something he went for it,and at the time,I was what he wanted--me.

The shy girl who hardly said a word during his lectures-- did I forget such an important detail.

Well,here it goes.

Mr Jean Germaine was my psychology professor and I was his favourite student,but we were also having a secret affair.

Yes I chose to throw all caution to the wind,truth is,I had only really found out he was my professor after we'd made love twice,there was no letting him go after that.

He had consumed me.

And I can bet on my grandfather's grave,Jean thought the same.

Though the fact that he was my professor was such an incredibly large red flag,a clause that tried its hardest to ruin us both,yet I refused to loose what I had just managed to have,no one wants a repeat of Peter,I don't want be anyone's past.

Not anymore.

So we ignored that little detail and progressed with our relationship,it went well,I ended up with his apartment keys.

Luckily I was too timid to make friends back in school,so no one knew me enough to notice,not even when we drove miles,sometimes outside of town,just to have a date.

Those were some of the hard times.

But I was all for the sacrifices.

And he rewarded handsomely.

He loved me unconditionally.

Or so I thought.

A part of me always feared that he'd get fed up one day and leave,I hadn't much to offer,but the thought of it only caused me sleep nights,I didn't want to think it.

I wouldn't admit that I had gotten obsessed with him,his scent for one could drive me insane.

But his body,

That was another story for another chapter.

I just want you to know that whatever I had with Jean was unique,he even said it himself,and I knew deep down,past all the agony,he loved me.

He just didn't know it.

A devilishly handsome man who lacked connection with his heart,they weren't very in tune with one another.

But we were.

And I thought,that was good enough.

How wrong I was.

"So what happened after that?".I whip my head up to catch Tyler's stare,he has an odd stance that screams eager and desperate. I didn't realised he was listening to my thoughts,did I really tell him all that."How'd you find out the relationship wouldn't work out?".

I give him a wry glance and disappointedly shake my head."It did,he didn't".

Tyler scrunches his brow in slight frustration,I have succeeded in confusing him,though it seems,I was good at doing that only when it comes to him.

Poor thing.

He's about to speak,but a cop suddenly barges in and tell us that our time is up,I fight the urge to scream at the thought of going back into that hell hole,I hate it down there,it stank of regrets and failure.

I didn't want any part of it.

With desperate eyes,I call out to Tyler."Please get me out of here,please".

He stares at my visage but I'm more desperate for an assurance,I want to know that he'd make do on his promises.

So I struggle with the arms around my shoulder,leading me further and further away from my lawyer.

When Tyler finally nods,I sigh with such relief.

His little gesture gives me such hope,I see a speck of light.

Maybe I'll get out of here.

I smile as I'm led out of the room and down the halls.

But I would have to fight to remain alive.

I'll stay alive.

But if I don't make it out.

If he doesn't fulfil his promises.

Then I'd give up my corpse to the warmth of solitary.

A/N-I encountered some difficulties writing this chapter.

So I'm gonna let the narrator decide from now on.

'Cause at this point I have no idea what's going on.

But finally we get to know a bit more of her and Jean.