In Between The Lines| BOOK #2 IN THE PSU SERIES

forty

"Dinner, this weekend. All of us, as a family." His tone was ordering like the dictator he was.

"I have a game this weekend. Or do you still not care about me at all?" Already knowing the answer, I rolled my eyes. "Don't be so overdramatic. You're acting as you've gone without," He bitched at me.

I let out a throaty chuckle.

"You know what—fuck you. Do you think it's funny to fucking suffocate me? Because that's all you're doing is fucking suffocating me!" I fired back at him, squeezing the life out of my cell phone. "You're being dramatic, Blake Daniel. D R A M—" I cut him off.

"S T F U Dad, you're a piece of shit. I'll bring her around you when I need to bring her around you and as far as I'm concerned to get to her you'll have to go through me." I hung up the phone before slamming it so hard into the ground, I didn't even bother to check it for cracks.

I had a backup phone at home just in case my anger got too bad.

Living with anger issues wasn't always a fun thing—hell, it was never a fun thing. Lots of testing to see if I was bipolar—I wasn't. But the biggest problem about growing up with mental health issues wasn't me trying to overcome them:

It was me trying to convince my father that I had them.

I would sit at the dinner table alone at night so angry that I was abandoned. My father didn't care. He was never an advocate for mental health—why would he? He was the stem of all emotions possible.

I wasn't on medication for anything because I wanted to overcome it by myself. Truth to be told, that's what I told my doctors. But it was because I wanted my dad to not be embarrassed by the fact that I had to be medicated over something I couldn't control.

My dad was my biggest role model.

But I was nothing like him. Sure, I definitely had the bite and bark—but I was more kind than a butterfly. I could be gentle—I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. When I freak out it's out of a sudden urge, or a build-up of emotions.

I can't control it.

I'm not opposed to medicine now. But I'm just so far into my life that now it would just affect everything.

But the only thing keeping me sane right now is the pretty blonde girl that's sleeping in my arms.

My medicine used to be Matti and football. The only time I wasn't with either was when I was finding a girl to bone, to release dopamine with.

But times have changed and she is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment—even if I would be killing her in the end by using her.

"Why are you still awake?" She whispered. Her eyes fluttered open as her naked body laid against mine. I sat laying propped up against one of my arms. My fingers were combing through her hair.

We had skipped our classes for the rest of the day.

It was now sundown and her roommates had gone out, I knew that because they had screamed it and then left.

We had gone at least six rounds in the last twelve hours. We took small naps in between but we were just embracing each other. She and I together as one, nothing looming over top of us- peace.

"My mind is running at a million hours per minute," I whispered. She paused for a moment before shuffling her position. She turned her body so it faced mine, her eyes staring up into mine.

"Why?" She asked as I shrugged.

"Nothing," It wasn't nothing—I had a huge question that I had to ask her, and I don't know if it would offend her.