Lovely Mornings (Kellic)

Nightmare

It was 3am, Kellin was dreaming, but suddenly it became another nightmare. He always has nightmares, but this one began dream-like, Victor was in it. This was one of the scariest he ever had. He was afraid of hurting Vic, and this made everything worse, seeing the tanned man getting hurt, even if he knew it wasn't real, it still horrifies him.

Kellin woke up sweating, crying, and hyperventilating, though he did his best to not awake Victor while rushing to the bathroom. He leaned against the door and slipped to the floor, hugging his knees, whispering things on his own. "You are not loveable, you will hurt him with your problems, you better get out while Victor is ok..."

Everything Kellin could think was how terrible that nightmare ended, and it was making his breath get out of control, felt like he was running out of oxygen, his vision was blurry and his brain was running a hundred miles per minute, telling him how horrible he was. Kellin closed his eyes the harder he could, trying to get rid of the thoughts, pulling his hair, but the thoughts weren't stopping. Suddenly he had the urge to puke, he crawled on the floor trying to get to the toilet.

--

Living alone for more than one year now had its advantages; almost any sound wakes Victor up. He was resting when some noises and movements shook his mind.

Shit. Colson is awake, go back to sleep, Victor, hush, hush. This was Victor's first though.

He shifted in the bed, pretending to be still asleep. Victor opened his eyes and brushed the sleeves of his shirt against his face a little bit.

Hold on- Colson is not here anymore. Now the reality hit Victor.

He turned to the door and thought for a second, he could hear rough breathing, basically choking. "Kellin." Victor whispered before stumbling with everything on his way to the bathroom, he stood in front of the door. "Kellin? Kellin, are you okay?" Asked concerned, but with a sweet tone of voice. He can hear how pained Kellin is. "I'm coming in..." Warned.

When Victor came in, Kellin was a mess, leaned against the wall with his head down his knees. He was ashamed that the pretty tanned man saw him like that. "Don't look at me..." Kellin said low, but loud enough for Victor to hear.

Victor didn't answer, he just walked slowly and got down on his knees in front of Kellin. "Can you look at me? You're not breathing properly." He decided touching Kells was not an option until the smaller wanted it. "Or do you want me to leave?" Added with honesty. If he didn't want him near, then Victor was going to respect that, but he wanted to help. Was it a nightmare? Or was it just because Victor left his arm around him while sleeping?

Kellin looked hesitantly, to Victor's face, he could see that Vic wanted genuinely to help him, so he just shook his head, wanting him to stay. After a few seconds, he said, "I... Had a nightmare... And I hurt you..." Putting his head down his knees, between whimpers and tears falling down his cheeks.

"Well, I'm fine. And you didn't. See?" Vic leaned warily for Kellin to look at him again. "I'm not beated or sad, you didn't." He hesitated putting a hand on the other's head and giving careful strokes. "I'm here. Can you take deep breaths for me? We can count."

Kellin looked up to Victor, nodding and taking deep breaths. He was glad that the tanned man was there, taking care of him.

Victor started counting and trying to guide him, the whimpers seemed to make it hard and Kellin was nervous each time he couldn't take a deep breath as Vic was showing. "Is okay, let's keep going." Vic offered his hands and kept leading the counts and the breathing, when he thought Kellin was better, he stopped suddenly. "That is it... You got it!" Whispered.

"Thank you for helping me." Kellin said going for a hug, he needed that. He was grateful, though still afraid of hurting Victor. "I'm sorry..." He whispered. "I always have nightmares, but this one you got hurt." Kellin tightened the hug, fearing Victor would vanish from his grip.

Victor held onto Kellin like nothing else existed, closed his eyes. "It is just that. A nightmare... You can't hurt me, unless your name is Colson or any of the bad people I know." Joked, giving a light laugh. He helped Kellin to get up. "I'll be downstairs for a second, you should wash your face with some cold water-" Smiled and rushed downstairs, just saying his ex's name made him feel like he was there in the house, he started searching each corner of the house with the lights on. He would stop once he heard Kellin heading out of the bathroom.

This is stupid, I thought I got over with the feeling. Victor thought while checking the kitchen and then looking outside from the windows between the curtains.

When Victor left the bathroom, Kellin went to the sink, looking his face through the mirror, a poor smile appeared, then turned the faucet on and washed his face with cold water. He looked himself in the mirror again, took a deep breath, dried his face and went out of the bathroom, searching for Victor. Thankfully the lights were on.

Victor was warily opening the door of the garage from where he made Kellin enter the house earlier, he popped out his head in silence trying to see in the dark the garage had.

What if he is here? Victor thought, then heard something from behind and turned roughly, leaning against the opened door and the wall.

"Oh my fucking god, Kellin, you scared me!" The tanned man laughed, but it ended up sounding weird, he held a hand against his chest, taking a deep breath. "Damn." Laughed again.

"I'm sorry I scared you, are you searching for something?" Kellin looked into the dark inside the garage, it was a bit threatening, but Kellin could notice Victor was hiding something, he seemed anxious, and it was not because he got scared. He wanted to know what it was, though he would not press Victor to say it.

"I heard something, but it could be the wind-" Vic turned again and stepped in the garage, turning on the light, then walked around the car, watching everything. He won't be able to sleep if he doesn't check. "Nothing here, though." Commented heading out after turning off the light and closing the door. But Kellin was glaring at him differently, Vic bites his cheek from inside his mouth.

"Are you sure?" Kellin gave him a loveable glare, taking Vic's hand, which was a bit cold, and gave a little squeeze.

The tanned man blinked twice, glaring at the hand and nodded slowly. "Sometimes I gotta check the house, because I feel like he is still living here, y'know?" Frowned his eyebrows, disgusted. "Such a burden, even without being here, don't worry. I do it often." Squeezed back the hand and smiled, looking up at Kellin. "We should go back to sleep, shouldn't we?"

"Yea, we should go back to sleep..." Kellin pulled Victor for a warm embrace, he left a little kiss on Vic's shoulder. "But... Who? That Colson that you said back in the bathroom? Don't worry, there is just you and I here."

Vic nodded and gazed at the counter, being able to see the blood on the floor, that wasn't really there. "Okay..." He took Kellin's hand, making him follow his steps when he turned off the lights and then let him go in front while going upstairs. Both in the bedroom again, it felt nice.

"I'm sorry for awakening you, but thank you for helping me." Kellin said, going under the covers, but still not laid down. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Yes, but my turn ends at 12:40pm. You can stay here until I come back, or I can drive you home when I wake up, whatever you prefer." Pointed out, going to bed too.

Kellin nods, lays down and says, "Goodnight, If you want me to stay I would like it."

"Goodnight..." Whispered with joy.