Riordanverse Oneshots, Rants and More

Oneshot #5- I'm only writing this because Rick didn't

Hear me out, the Seven canonically seem nowhere near "best friends". Rick just randomly made them all close friends and didn't even bother talking about HOW they became so close.

This only deals with platonic relationships, because we had enough romance in the books (even though it was mainly Percy and Annabeth with a sprinkle of mushy Jason and Piper)

Part 1:

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1- Annabeth Chase and the Terrible Case of Low Spice Tolerance

Piper flopped on top of Hazel's bed, the wood creaking slightly under the sudden pressure. Hazel sat next to her, munching away at popcorn.

"I'm back with more food!" The door was kicked open aggressively, revealing Annabeth with her arms full of junk Coach would not have approved of for a healthy diet. She had let her hair down today, and they were currently in the process of impersonating a pigeon's nest on top of her scalp. Very attractive. Annababe at her finest.

They had been travelling on the Argo II for some weeks now, with monster attacks every few miles. It comes with being a demigod, you know. Oh, your other parent is some all-powerful immortal being that has messed up the majority of your life somehow just by never being involved in it? Welcome to the club! We have brightly coloured t-shirts and some wickedly sharp weapons to help you on your way through all the trauma that was put on your shoulders the moment you entered this world!

Piper had suggested a girls' night in as a break, just for the three of them. Who could blame them, really? None of them could endure the boys blowing up something or the other around the ship for another second. Fighting any more monsters would most likely result in one of them voluntarily falling face-first on the floor and sobbing. The first wave of depression had been expected but definitely not welcomed and they were determined not to deal with it today.

Child endangerment is so fun! Weapons destined to kill and the attached trauma, what bliss!

Annabeth scattered all the food items on the bed and Piper immediately picked up a packet of hot Cheetos. Meanwhile, Hazel stared wide-eyed at the variety of foodstuffs. She was determined to taste every single one of them, having never even known the existence of at least half of them until that day.

A loud yelp was heard outside the door and Annabeth sighed, exhausted. "Do we really have to check in on them so soon? I don't think I have the motivation to douse out another fire."

"I'm sure they'll handle it." Piper waved her cheese-dust-covered hand dismissively while inhaling her Cheetos.

Hazel's eyes sparkled with excitement, completely ignoring the conversation between Piper and Annabeth.

"Can I try some of these?" Hazel asked Piper, pointing at the bag of Cheetos in her hand.

"Sure," Piper handed it over to Hazel who immediately grabbed a Cheeto from inside, and ate it whole.

"Ooh, can I have some too? I have never tried this flavour before," Annabeth asked, watching as Hazel munched on them with a dopey grin on her face.

"Are you kidding? This is one of the best flavours to exist! Have you even lived?" Piper handed her the packet. Annabeth rolled her eyes as she took out a small, broken piece and ate it.

The flavours burst on her tongue, until... oh gods, the spice.

It hit her like an erupting volcano. She started panting, her eyes watery. "Why is this so spicy," she coughed, waving a hand in front of her face as if she were swatting a fly away.

Piper and Hazel stared at her with blank faces. "What?" Hazel blinked her eyes in confusion.

Annabeth's cheeks were now flushed with a hue of red as she desperately tried to find her carton of chocolate milkshake. "Don't you guys feel s-spicy?"

"Annabeth... this isn't spicy at all... I've had food with ten times more spice than this- are you crying?" Piper asked.

Hazel suppressed a giggle as she handed Annabeth her chocolate milk, who gulped down half of it before sighing loudly in relief. Piper met Hazel's gaze and they burst out laughing.

"Not funny, guys. Not funny at all." Annabeth grumbled.

"Did you never have anything with even a tiny bit of spice in it at Camp?"

Annabeth shook her head, still coughing.

"Aww you look like the Cheeto with your face all red." Hazel remarked, inducing more laughter and friendly mockery at the daughter of Athena, whose fatal flaw just so happened to be her pride.

"Hazel-" Annabeth lunged at the daughter of Pluto with her Cheeto-dust-covered hands, who jumped off the bed and ran outside the door, almost tripping over herself along the way, laughing gleefully. Annabeth ran after her, arms outstretched and Piper followed close behind, clutching her aching stomach from all the laughing.

As Annabeth finally reached Hazel (who was pretty fast, if she said so herself), she noticed her staring at something. She skidded to a stop and Piper bumped into her from behind with an "ow".

"What-" Annabeth's gaze followed Hazel's and gaped at the scene in front of her.

The stern of the ship was on fire. Coach Hedge was vomiting his lunch into the sea, which would definitely cause some problems later with the sea nymphs. Frank had turned into a pig and was squealing atop the mast. Jason was nowhere to be seen, while Percy was trying to summon water from the ocean below to douse out the fire, clearly forgetting in a moment of panic that seawater should not be used in such cases.

Leo emerged from the flames, "Oh hey, ladies!" he mumbled before his eyes rolled back in his head and promptly passed out in Piper's arms, rivalling a damsel in distress from a medieval fairy tale.

"Holy shit," Piper whispered, as Annabeth rubbed her temples.

Hazel sighed. "It took them a span of ten minutes without us around to start a fire."

"Well, time to faceplant and sob."

Part 2 coming soon (and by that I mean a few weeks/months later, because I'm lazy that way)

*Most of my one-shots are now also on AO3. Same username.*