Riordanverse Oneshots, Rants and More

Oneshot #2- A very short and abrupt crackfic

TW⚠: Vampires, Luke and Kronos from the Peter Johnson movies, VERY wrong information, eating, uh, stuff that is not meant to be eaten, and children being sliced in half (no details though).

Sunlight shone through the windows of the palace as Percy woke up, his face stretching into a grin, which was pretty unusual for someone like him. 

It was his wedding day, after all. 

As he was getting ready, he heard a distant bleating sounding from behind the door of his room. He opened the door to see Grover, his best man standing at the doorway, calmly munching on his reed pipes. Percy grinned at the sight of his best friend, with crumbles of wood sprinkled all around his mouth, and let him in. 

Grover informed him that Nico's zombie chauffeur, Jules-Albert, would be taking them to their wedding venue, the Lotus Hotel and Casino. A smile played across the son of Zeus's lips as he remembered the good old days, where he, Annabeth, the daughter of Aphrodite, Grover, the faun, and Nico, the son of Ares had spent a year as a vacation. They had made a lovely friend there, Bianca, who was a part of a huge gang of cool lesbians. Their friendship had blossomed, until the day she had to leave. However, she had received Percy's invitation and agreed to show up at the wedding. 

A bunch of other friends came into his room to help him dress up. After all, his long red dress with fairy wings was very hard to wear.

***

Punk rock blasted through the speakers as Nico walked down the aisle, throwing pink flower petals from a little basket, sporting a lovely little blue bow on his head. 

But Percy didn't pay attention. He had eyes for only one.

He saw Annabeth walk down the aisle in her beautiful white dress, the tips of her gown a hue of bright pink. A beautiful tiara adorned her intricate hairdo. Apollo, her step-dad walked her down the aisle as tears of joy and pride slipped down his cheeks. Percy himself felt a little teary-eyed by the time they read their vows. 

"Do you, Percy Jackson, take Annabeth Chase to be your unlawfully wedded husband?"

"I don't."

"Do you, Annabeth Chase, take Percy Jackson to be your unlawfully wedded wife?"

"I don't."

"You may now smack the bride on the head."

After sharing their first smack on the head as husband and wife, Bianca came up to them and told them she had something important to talk to with them personally. 

They climbed on top of the bar, each holding a mic, just to keep it personal. Bianca's eyes glistened with tears and Annabeth held her gently by the shoulders. 

"What is it?" she asked Bianca. 

"I-I am actually a vampire who has been living amongst a bunch of lunatic, homicidal wolves," she replied, looking away in shame. 

The couple shared a glance, tears welling in their eyes, and hugged their friend. "We'll always accept you for what you are," Percy replied. Bianca grinned, revealing her blood-red fangs. 

The crowd went wild as lotus flowers were thrown around. 

***

It had been a year since their marriage as a knock sounded on the door. Percy strode up to the door and swung it open to reveal a blonde boy, with eyes as blue as the ocean. He claimed himself to be Jake Abel, but Percy knew he was actually Luke.

Luke pointed at Gerald Jack, one of the three children Percy and Annabeth had had and told him that he would need half of him as a sacrifice to Kronos, the almighty Fire Titan. Percy happily obliged. Sweet! He could live with two and a half children!

After Luke flew away on a piece of molten rock, carrying one half of Percy and Annabeth's child, Percy turned back to the rest of his children. 

As he took a step forward, he heard a creaking sound right above him. 

He looked up, only to see the chandelier swinging. He thought it must be Sia swinging on the chandelier and shrugged it off. 

The chandelier, however, had other ideas. 

It fell on him and crushed him! 

The last thing he felt was the cold, clammy hands of Thanos take him away as he smiled faintly at his wife and children for the last time.

Annabeth chuckled light-heartedly, "Well, it's about time he died." She picked up the half of Gerald Jack and walked back gracefully to her room.

THE END.

*when you need to write a narrative essay but you end up writing a crackfic instead-