Riordanverse Oneshots, Rants and More

Magnus Chase and the Naughty Squirrel

Even more MCGA generator stuff, because I think I might be obsessed.

FAIRY TALE AU

Once upon a time there was a blonde boy called Magnus Chase. He was on the way to see his best friend Samirah Al-Abbas, when he decided to take a short cut through Awfulpool Forest.

It wasn't long before Magnus got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Sir Quacks-a-Lot, but Sir Quacks-a-Lot was nowhere to be found! Magnus began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Sir Quacks-a-Lot. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, he saw a naughty squirrel dressed in a black denim jacket disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Magnus.

For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed squirrel. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Magnus reached a clearing. In the clearing were two houses, one made from falafels and one made from lollipops.

Magnus could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.

"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Magnus looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Magnus a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Sir Quacks-a-Lot!

"Sir Quacks-a-Lot!" shouted Magnus. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Sir Quacks-a-Lot back!" cried Magnus.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Sir Quacks-a-Lot out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, the naughty squirrel in the black denim jacket rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the cleaning.

"Hello Big Squirrel," said the witch.

"Good morning." The squirrel noticed Sir Quacks-a-Lot. "Who is this?"

"That's Sir Quacks-a-Lot," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Sir Quacks-a-Lot would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the squirrel.

The witch shook her head. "Sir Quacks-a-Lot is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Magnus interrupted. "Sir Quacks-a-Lot lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Squirrel ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Squirrel looked at the house made from lollipops and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from lollipops if I wanted to."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Sir Quacks-a-Lot."

Magnus watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Sir Quacks-a-Lot to Big Squirrel. He didn't think Sir Quacks-a-Lot would like living with a naughty squirrel, away from his house and all his other toys.

Big Squirrel put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Squirrel. "Just you watch!"

Big Squirrel pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

And more.

Eventually, Big Squirrel started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of lollipops, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Squirrel.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Squirrel never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Sir Quacks-a-Lot remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Sir Quacks-a-Lot."

"Not so fast," said Magnus. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from falafels. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the squirrel. He won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Magnus.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Sir Quacks-a-Lot back."

Magnus ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from falafels and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.

Magnus sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Magnus. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Magnus's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from falafels. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Magnus was down to the final piece of the door made from falafels. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Magnus had eaten the entire front door of the house made from falafels.

The witch stomped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Sir Quacks-a-Lot or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Magnus hurried over and grabbed Sir Quacks-a-Lot, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Sir Quacks-a-Lot was unharmed.

Magnus thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Samirah. It was starting to get dark.

When Magnus got to Samirah's house, his best friend threw her arms up in the air with relief.

"I was so worried!" cried Samirah. "You are very late."

As Magnus described his day, he could tell that Samirah didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.

"What's that?" asked Samirah.

Magnus unwrapped a doorknob made from lollipops. "Pudding!" he said.

Samirah almost fell off her chair.

The End

A lovely oneshot you can read to your darling children :D