11:11

3💙

Dear Jimin,

Remember the panic attacks you helped me through before?

Well, they're back, but you're not here. I tried to focus on my breathing and do the butterfly technique you taught me, I tried to pretend you were there, your soft voice guiding me through the night. But when I calmed down and opened my eyes, you weren't there, I just cried even more.

I guess aside from being my crush and best friend, you were also my comfort person. The person who never failed to make me laugh, the person who would crack stupid jokes just to make me smile, and above all, the person whom I had fallen for. I know it's stupid, you probably forgot about me, you probably have a girlfriend now.

It's just, I can't stop staying up late at night, 11:11, just to wish for you.

I can't stop thinking about you.

If only I never left the school.

It's really funny how life works, it's been years, and yet I'm still here. It's as if my feelings never changed, I never matured, and I'm the same girl from 6th grade. I'm still the same girl I was years ago.

I miss all of you.

I miss Hyeri, Lisa, Jungkook, Jin, Taehyung.

But most of all, you.

My best friend, my confidante, my comfort person, my... everything,

And the boy I've fallen for.

The boy making me confused and hurt.

The boy whose smile used to make my day.

The boy who I wish for at 11:11 each night.

Anyways, I hope you're okay, I hope you're happy.

I hope the girl you bring to your parents will treat you well and love you so much.

I hope your parents treat her as well as they treated me.

I hope she is everything you were to me.

And I hope I'll finally be able to move on,

And leave everything, including my unrequited love,

In the past.

Remember Intramurals? When they had stalls in each classroom, and huge bouncy slides? Do you remember, when we went to the cupcake decorating stall, and we made a mess and started a frosting fight, and then we got kicked out? We looked at each other and laughed so hard.

Then, I said I was tired, so you took me to the classroom. There was no one there, since everyone else was either buying, eating or playing on the slides. And it was quite dark, we sat down on the floor, we started harmonizing to random songs, until I felt drowsy and l laid my head on your shoulder, as you pulled me closer. Oh my god, I never wanted that moment to end.

You keep humming.

After a while, you planted a kiss on my forehead and put your jacket over me.

Then, with that, I went off to dreamland.

That moment was one of my favorites.

Although, truth be told, all moments with you were my favorite.

When we'd bicker over trivial things,

When we'd sing songs together,

When we'd hangout in our secret spot,

When we'd get in trouble together, then make funny faces when the person turned their back.

I'd do anything to get all those back.

I'd do anything to get you back..