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Taehyung


I walk up the stairs, my thoughts now pulled together and the final decision made. Although my steps are heavy and I don't feel like having this conversation at all, I do find myself in front of someone's door, my hand raised and ready to knock.


I hate, have always hated, discussing serious things or talking about my mistakes. I always found it hard to find the right words and sorry just didn't exist for me at all. It still doesn't, but I am trying here.


Two soft knocks land against the familiar door and I hope the touch of my knuckles against the wooden surface were not heard. I probably must be looking grim and not exactly excited, but I couldn't care less about it.


The reason I'm doing this in the first place is for her.


I hear a brief rustling on the other side of the door, which makes me assume she was still asleep, or at least still in bed, and after that muffled voices ring out. I sigh, lowering my head, but what was I even expecting? After a few seconds, the door slowly opens and I come face to face with Irina's figure.


She looks beautiful, she always does. Her slender form is wrapped in a nightgown and her hair is silky but a little tousled, given the fact that she was lying in the comfort of her many pillows. She holds the door firmly to her side, not allowing me to get a glimpse of her room, which isn't necessary because I know who is there.


"Tae?" she asks in wonder, her eyes going from their wide shape back to their normal almond shape.


I scratch the back of my head, now a little lost as to how to begin. When I woke up this morning I was finally tired of dealing with the consequences of my mistake. I know I fucked up, big time even. But I couldn't stop myself and my tongue left words that have no return.


I let my anger and jealousy get the best of me and that has a big impact on the trust between me and Irina. I broke her trust in me and I don't know if she would ever have that much faith in me again to tell me anything about her.


To be honest, though, I can't blame her for that because I deserve it. I'm not a kid anymore and I know I should handle things differently, but all this shows me now is how much I hurt her in the matter when I shared a secret of ours that wasn't my business.


It's her thing whether she wanted to tell Jungkook about the night she confided in me or not. I was literally so happy that day because she opened her heart to me and told me about the deepest feelings that no one knows. And I destroyed that and now she'll probably never tell me anything again. I'm the closest thing she had to a best friend, and now I'm just one of the many men working for her father.


I sigh again, my lips pressed into a straight line before I decide to put an end to it all. "I wanted to talk to him," I say, and her eyebrows shoot up.


I know he's in her room right now, listening to what we're discussing just outside the door. I suspect it must have shocked and puzzled him as much as it did Irina, which I can tell by the look on her face. It's not exactly hard to guess that he spent the night here, as he does many other nights.


It always brings a slight twinge to my chest to know that he doesn't leave the house the way he entered it. While no one cares even if they saw the car he drives, which they don't because he's smart enough to park it far enough away, I see it and I know it.


Also knowing that he didn't go back to his own apartment but snuck up to her without anyone noticing makes me both disappointed and jealous at the same time. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. And I can tell they didn't exactly think anyone would really know about his presence here.


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