Truth or Consequences

chapter 21

"You know Felix is gonna pick you over 'consequences,' right?"

"It's not about picking, Diego. I'm just saying whatever Felix wants to do, we'll figure it out together."

"Dude. This life isn't sustainable, especially for someone like Felix. He's not gonna talk about it, but that article that got published inspired something in him. Or, shit, maybe it was you. Anyway, the way I heard it... I'm pretty sure he's looking to teach at that culinary school in your city."

"He hasn't said much about it to me... I've asked with no response. I just assumed it meant he picked the boat." I pick at my cuticles while saying this.

Diego laughs, "She's not just a boat. She has a name, Helene! Most guys call her 'ONC,' but I'm partial to 'consequences'."

He continues when I don't say anything, "Felix never talks about things until it's a sure thing. Everything's a secret until he knows he's 100% in. Aside from all that, most of us get paid enough that we don't have to work year-round. Unless you want to, I guess. I usually work six months on and six months off."

"Well yeah... I'm realizing that now... I don't know why I thought..." I trail off when I see the rest return to where Diego and I are sitting.

"Guys! Helene thought we just worked non-stop... Like forever." Diego reveals, laughing. "What the hell Morales? Don't y'all talk like every day? 'hey, sugar... You're so beautiful, Helene... I love you so much'... Gross." His hand next to his head mimicking talking on the phone, pretending to dry heave when he says gross.

Now he's making fun of both of us. Clearly, the guys have overheard some of our conversations. I had been eating grapes, so I started plucking them from the bag and throwing them at Diego.

"You're an asshole." I try to sound mad, but I'm laughing with him. Not to mention more often than not, the grapes are hitting him in the head. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm over here making plans to visit Felix during all of my breaks and didn't consider the possibility that we could just be together. I know I wouldn't make him choose; I'd never be that person.

"I told you that I wasn't on a contract, that first night," Felix says, the second half quieter for just me to hear. That feels so long ago. "When we had that German drink thing, I was telling you where I was going. I always get first dibs, so I planned on working until May... But now..."

"Felix fucked her so good she wasn't paying attention!" Adam contributes when I don't answer because I am searching my memory.

Now both Felix and I are throwing grapes at him. Adam trying to dodge, and the other guys trying to catch them with their mouths.

"Hey! Hey! No more grapes! Come on y'all!" Calvin recently found out his wife was pregnant, so he's practicing his dad voice. His enthusiasm is adorable.

On one of the nights off when we were docked, I discovered an outdoor movie event- 'Screen on the Green'. I had intended it to be a date night for Felix and me, but I told him near the kitchen, and Pete overheard... so the group invited themselves.

We had two mega blankets for all six of us to sit on and snacks and beer. We were in town for their 90's movie month, so tonight's showing was 10 Things I Hate About You. Felix is sitting on this butt pad with a built-in back to it, so I am sitting between his legs. My back leaned into his chest, his arms around me. This is quickly becoming one of my most comforting positions with him. I'm in heaven.

"Did y'all know this is Heath Ledger's first American movie? RIP... Such a good actor."

We all slowly turn to Calvin, questioning his random trivia. "What? I love this movie... My sister made me watch it a million times. It was easier to lean in."