Truth or Consequences

chapter 16

"We could just shave your head," Marty suggests. He and I are standing in our respective bedroom doorways, and Mom is crying in our shared bathroom. She had been brushing her hair, and a huge clump came out in her hands. She had screamed out, which is what made Marty and I jump into action, but now we were just staring at her. Marty is in middle school, and I'm in high school.

"But I don't want to shave my head!" Mom cried out while sobbing. "I don't want to have cancer. I don't want any of this!" Marty and I hug her, hoping it will calm her down. At a time when life felt so out of control, we needed to take some back.

"Mom, I've got the perfect idea. Lenny... we need to go shopping!" Marty is already moving to put his shoes on. "Helene. Move it!" His sternness makes me laugh.

I grab my shoes, and we head to the car. His plan is a spa day. My sweet brother might be the best guy to have ever existed. We buy brownie mix and sparkling apple juice at the grocery store because mom LOVES chocolate, and Marty wanted us to have a fancy toast. We also make sure to grab cucumbers, avocado, and coconut oil.

When we get home, we make Mom go back into her bedroom and listen to calming music. Then we get to work baking brownies, making a honey and avocado facemask, and finally cutting up cucumber slices.

We set up everything in the living room and blindfolded Mom before taking her into the backyard. When she removed her blindfold, we gave her a brownie square and a fancy glass of sparkling juice. The three of us toasted to the future, to taking back control, to kicking cancer's ass. After Mom finished her chocolate, I got to work on using clippers to buzz off her hair. Of course, we had fun with it... she had a mullet and a mohawk before it was all gone. Marty was always so good at keeping us silly.

Since we are not hair experts, Mom had to shower afterward to get all the hair off. It was everywhere. We told her to wear her most comfortable pajamas and lie on the couch. I swear she was going to cry when we told her we had orchestrated a whole spa day for the three of us. We took turns helping each other with the goopy yet delicious face mask. Then I read somewhere about putting coconut oil on your hands, putting on latex gloves, and covering them with a heating pad. I'm not sure where Marty got the gloves, but we only had one pair... so Mom got the best treatment. Then, of course, cucumber slices for her eyes.

I remember it was a sight to behold. I'm so glad I snapped a picture of it. Mom on the couch, freshly shorn head, chunky green paste on her face, cucumber slices, and her hands resting on her belly wrapped in a heating pad. Marty lay on the floor near her with the same mask and cucumbers. It's my favorite picture I have framed. Looking closely, you can see Marty's little tongue sticking out, stealing a taste of the face mask.

"Helene." Felix touches my shoulder as I stand in my apartment, still holding the picture frame.

"Hey... sorry... were you saying something?" I say as I put the framed picture back down.

"I just wanted to know if I could make you something to eat or tea or anything." He says softly, brushing the backs of his fingers against my cheek.

"Oh. Yeah. I'll take a cup of tea, please." I move to sit on the couch, feet under me, blanket wrapped around me as Felix moves to the kitchen to make tea. With the holidays coming up and Marty needing to return to where he is stationed, we figured we should have a tight turnaround regarding the funeral.

It's been a quiet couple of days. If I thought I was a zombie before, I don't know what it makes me now. I can't help but replay that last day in my mind. Her rally, telling Marty and me how much she loves us and to take care of each other. When she got that dose of Morphine and fell back asleep, we decided to take private time to talk to her. To tell her whatever we wanted, but more importantly, to give her permission. I'm not sure what she was holding on to, but I will never forget that she rallied for Felix.