Just to Feel | Complete

Chapter 31

I head down to horses' paddock after dropping my bag off in my room and changing into sneakers and jeans. Christian is finishing up with Smokey and Crystal as I walk towards them. The sun is setting behind them and Christian looks even more handsome than usual. How is that even possible? My knees go weak at the sight of him. His smile completely breaks me. How have I lived without those images for so many years? And what makes it worse is the fact that he has no idea the effect he has on me. How he makes my head spin. The thought of him warms me all over. Being near him makes my pulse quicken and my hands go clammy. This man. This handsome amazing man.

"Hi, Mia!, Christian waves excitedly as he turns and sees me leaning against the paddock fence, watching him and Smokey finish up. "You're a sight for sore eyes, beautiful lady." He walks Smokey back to his box and jogs over to where I'm still leaning against the fence. In one swift move, he vaults over the fence and lands next to me on the other side. Clark Kent... my Superman. I'm excited to be so close to him. He wraps his arms around me and places his lips on mine. His kiss starts innocently, but soon deepens into one that makes my mind swim and leaves me breathless. Our lips part and he touches my cheek with his thumb. "I really missed you today, and wanted to do that from the moment I woke up this morning. You are all that I can think of, Mia. Day and night my mind runs wild with thoughts of you. Thoughts of us."

"I feel the same." His vulnerability brings out my own. I need him to know that it's not only he who feels this way, I do too. "I think about you all day long, Christian. When something exciting happens, you're the first person I want to call. When something makes me sad, I want you there to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be okay." Christian gives me another gentle kiss before we begin our evening walk.

I am so caught up in being near him that I almost forget to tell him my awesome news. "Oh, I have some news", I state, far too officially. "I got it."

"What are you talking about?", Christian's confused by my half a story. I've rehearsed this so many times in my mind, yet I still forget to say everything out loud.

"Silly me", I shake my head blushing. Being near him makes my mind short circuit and I need to remember to 'think'. "They made the selection for the final intern who'll be staying on permanently, now that our three months are up. And I was selected. They've offered me a permanent job at Kepler Publishing House!"

Christian stops and takes both my hands in his. "I knew you could do it, Mia. I just knew that they'd see how brilliant you are. I'm so proud of you. I know that you worked really hard for this, and I also know that you wanted this really badly. You truly are the full package. Beautiful, smart and funny. How lucky am I to be the one to love you?" My heart is beating out of my chest. Did he just say that he loves me? "Are you okay, Mia?"

"Uhm... yes... I'm fine." My mind won't work. It's still suck on what Christian just said.

"How is Arielle taking the news? I know that you and her are very close." Christian has luckily changed the subject, which kicks my brain into functioning again.

"That's the best part! Arielle was offered a position in the illustration team, which is where she actually wants to be. So we'll both be staying on permanently at Kepler Publishing. But wait, the story gets even better." By now Christian and I have reached our usually spot where we sit and chat for a while, as we watch the sun go down. We sit and make ourselves comfortable before I carry on with the juicy bits of my story. "So, Dawn and Mr. Kepler called us into the boardroom to break the news about who they've selected, when his cellphone rings and they both leave the room. The door was barely closed when James tells me that Dylan's been arrested! Oh my goodness, you could have knocked me over with a feather. Quite a few girls have come forward to lay charges of rape against him..."

Christian doesn't answer immediately, making me think he might not have heard me. Then his reply knocks me a bit of balance. "Mia, don't you want to lay charges too?" Christian asks quietly, taking my hands into his.

When his question starts to sink in, I realize that this is the moment where I need to own my life. Own my past. "Yes", I say, looking into Christian's deep blue eyes, "maybe I should. Will you stand by me?"

Christian turns me around so that I'm sitting with my back towards him, leaning against his broad chest. "Of course, my Darling! Dylan isn't a man, Mia. He is a snake and a sorry excuse for a human being. I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that. You're with me now. I will never hurt you and I will never let anyone else hurt you. Ever. Again. You are my girl now. You are safe. You are protected. You are loved." His strong arms feel so good wrapped around me as he whispers in my ear, "I love you, Mia."

I turn to face him. "I love you too, Christian", I say as I take his face in my hands and kiss him on the lips, "I think I always have. You've made me feel safe from the moment I first laid eyes on you. My mother wrote about you in that letter. She said my prince would come one day... and now you're here." Christian's cheeks are wet. Tears of joy mixed with tears of pain. "Have you noticed that it's been weeks since I've hurt myself? I decided that I'm no longer a victim. I'm a strong woman. A woman who is loved and cherished. A woman who deserves better than the lies that Dylan's voice played over and over in my head. A new woman. Your woman. You make me feel, Christian... I feel love with you... only love..."

Christian kisses me as if it's the first time we've ever kissed. A kiss that feels as if it lasts a lifetime. A kiss with the purpose of healing a painful past. A kiss promising a beautiful future. Our future.

When my eyes meet his deep blue pools, I know that Christian is a man who loves me unconditionally.... even the dark and broken parts.

THE END