i'm doing it. i'm doing it and i'm scared as shit. i don't wanna hurt jess but i need to be with kate.
•••
brooke is shopping with katelyn and i invited jess over.
jess: what's up
josh: we um- we need to talk
jess: alright...
we sit on the couch.
josh: i um- i stopped being around katelyn. but uh- i cant do it jess. i'm sorry. i love you but- i just really love her too.
jess doesn't speak.
josh: i swear on my life that i really did wanna marry you. i really did.
she stays quiet again.
josh: please say something. i didn't wanna hurt you but i couldn't keep lying to myself and everyone anymore. i'm really sorry
jess: i- it's okay.
it's not okay. she's crying and i feel terrible.
jess: you can't help who you fall in love with. you- you can't control it. it's okay. really.
it's not okay. she's heartbroken and i feel like the biggest asshole ever.
josh: i- you deserve someone so great jess. i'm sorry i couldn't be that for you
she won't look at me. i tightly hug her and she hugs back.
jess: just promise me- don't fuck things up with katelyn. i can tell how much you love eachother
•••
after all of that, i go to brookes room and sit in her bed next to her.
brooke: where's jess?
josh: jess left. i don't think she's gonna be coming back very much
brooke: but why?
josh: listen. i love jess very much, but we decided to not be together
i wanted to tell brooke that i wanna be with katelyn but i'm not exactly sure how she'll take it. so for now, that's the story i'm sticking to. i lay down and brooke curls up with me as we watch tv. the entire time, my mind is racing and all i think about is kate and i being together.
••••••••••••••••••
short chapter. sorry. i'm leaving for the beach on saturday and will be gone for a week. probably won't post all that much. sorry!
